[tony_nyc]

I had a great 10 day vacation in Poland, visiting my wife's family and relaxing in the "countryside" a few hours south of Warsaw. While we were there, my wife and I told her parents of our plans to adopt. *big sigh of relief* We're still considering our options - especially since we need to get more educated about adoption - but they Mama i Tata seemed welcoming to the idea. Of course, my Polish is horrible so I understood only 2% of my wife's conversation with her mom, but judging from the reactions it was good. I think it will be tougher to talk with my parents as they live so close (and thus in more direct contact with us) so we're waiting till we get further along.

We did carve out one day to visit the 3 adoption centers in Warsaw. Once again, my wife did most of the talking. For future reference - the Public center said they are OK with a walk-in, TPD didn't say one way or the other and the Catholic center wished we would have called ahead. They mostly echoed what I've read in online forums - don't expect infants, sibling groups and possibly children with handicaps/difficulties are common. They also all said they only deal with agencies in the U.S. Now I've seen in other forums people in the U.S. have worked things out without an agency in the U.S. so I'm not sure if my wife was loosely translating for me or they're omitting something. Unfortunately, we didn't get any names - we just met to get an overview of information, etc.

Anyway, here are some pics that I took while I was there of the adoption centers with flickr map location, in case anyone is curious:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/1385918...57602066333616

Tony

[Kama]

Hi Tony,

Glad to hear you had a nice stay in Poland. I am sure many here will be appreciative of the photographs. For me, they bring back memories of the process. We actually only visited the public one on Nowogrodzka, but saw the other locations while walking around Warsaw. As for your comment about the centers not working with people directly, it is true about the Catholic and TPD ones, but not about the public. The only thing that is absolutely necessary of course, is a home study by a licensed agency in your state. However, they is a part of it that I do not understand... We did our adoption independently, with the help of a lawyer based in Poland. The tricky part is that the lawyer does also work with facilitator/adoption agencies based in the U.S., it is just in our case that she worked privately. But, I am fairly sure that it mattered that she knew the process so well.

We too were worried about parenting skills... and we adopted two at once. It has been challenging, but there are resources available (parenting classes, books). I also feel that you really want to have children and if you get a referral that matches your family well, you will learn very quickly!

As for issues that children have, you need to decide what you are willing to deal with. We were not prepared to deal with serious physical difficulty (minor physical issue were fine of course, and especially with emotional disturbance, FAS. I have met parents who adopted children with FAS and the problems can be big or small, still I did not feel prepared for this. Many children adopted in Poland come from backgrounds where alcohol was factor in them being taken away. This does not mean that the children have FAS. In our case, we knew that the bio parents abused alcohol, but the bio mom was younger and was progressively getting worse, but there were good "positive" people in the family who just could not take care of the kids. I am being vague, but I guess, you need to learn as much as possible about the social background and you will know if this is a match for you. Our kids were older (4 and 8), so it was also easier to diagnose them (they are completely healthy, smart kids), as FAS often shows up when kids start learning to write, read, etc. Some here needed to turn down referrals until they got the "right" one.

Of course, you can always come for advice here. We have involved adoptive parents on this board, always willing to share experience and give advice.

[Mom2_4]

Hey Tony,

You are certainly thorough in your research. Bardzo Dobsha! Thanks for sharing it with everyone.

[mommyoffivelittleble]

Hello,

Could you email your lawyer's info to my private email. And tell me a little about the public orphanage you were talking about that works with independent adoptions. My husband and I are looking into adopting from Poland. Thank you in advance.
Blessings, Amy

[tony_nyc]

Sorry, but my wife and I haven't adopted yet! We're still learning about adoption. We just happened to be visiting family in Poland and stopped by the different centers in Warsaw to talk with them and learn what we can. Of course, I can't help being a geek, taking a picture and posting it on the internet.

Actually, I am more than you average geek - I'm a professional geek! And to be honest, my activity here is a... big departure for me. I used to work maintaining systems for the #1 women's internet site and always was a Scrooge when it came to "internet community" and "online support groups" - shrugging it all off with a 'bah, humbug'. Only now, after reading some archives of this board and the moderated yahoo group, I've reversed course 180 degrees. It's really good to see all the kind hearted people helping each other to make families for children. So, I'm going full force - online bookmarks, online photos, online notepad. Well, almost full force - I'm not sure if I'll start a blog about my experience. I've seen plenty other blogs and I do want to share what I learn, so maybe.

[Mom2_4]

Hi Tony,
Please blog! You really should blog and etc. Why?

1. You are very thorough in your research.
2. You have wicked sense of humor. A most important and necessary attribute in an adoptive parent.

With a blog or the internet in general, you still need to use criticial thinking to digest it properly.

Take care,
Mom2More

[manatus]

Hi Tony,
I second mom2_4 advice on keeping a journal or blog. We did while in Poland, and set up a private family web site where we posted our daily journal and photos from the day so they could keep in touch with what was going on. It also helped them start bonding with the girls before they even came home and everyone was checking for the latest news every day. We couldn't believe how much we had already forgotten when we got home and re-read the journal. It is something you really can't recreate and something you will treasure as time goes on.

And ... Thanks for the pictures of the adoption agencies I recognized ours right away! The wonderful ladies there wanted to meet us and see the girls again once the adoption was final, so it was a very joyful experience.


Best wishes as you begin your journey!

[tony_nyc]

tada! i started a blog, and there should be a link to it in my signature.

[Kama]

Great, I checked it out and I will be visiting! I think only a few of posters here have blogs and I really enjoy them. I would love to have one, but do not have time now to keep it up .