[LisArno]

A co-worker of mine has offered to throw a shower for us. She asked when we want it and also for suggestions. And that led to my dilemma. Between trips would work out the best and I'd suggest items that we really need for the children, such as car seats or educational items like Leap Frog items. But then I thought that seemed selfish because it would be about my husband/me, not about the children. On the other hand, I am not going to "parade" my children in front of that many people (25-30) the first couple of months we're home and I don't want all of those strangers to give them that many gifts - we'll be set for clothes/toys/books by then (I've been at my school a long time and I know the teachers/staff members will be quite generous and they are all extremely supportive of us). Waiting a couple months would also put it close to Christmas and I don't want that either.

Any suggestions?

[yusen]

If your Co-Workers are serious, and want to throw you a shower,, Then I would find a nice place to go and register,, If you were pregnant with a baby,, you would register yourself, and have listed items such as ,, ( Car seats , Learning gamese etc, ) Between the 2 trips is a great idea,, this way, since you are leaving soon,, and are registered,, this will give them time to plan and shop for the items..!
Never ever turn anything down that comes free,,nor from people willing to help out!

[crick]

I agree with Yusen...don't turn the offer down...sounds like they really want to celebrate with you!!

If you don't feel you'll need much, have you thought about asking for things like gift certificates to the zoo, museums or other family outing places that you'll get around to doing later? Maybe rec center/pool passes? (I don't know how old your kids are so adjust accordingly here...lol! gymboree etc.)

[Mom2_4]

Your instincts are dead on about not exposing the kids to the massive gift giving at the shower. (I believe that subject was covered in our Prayers and Casseroles handout under the title “Mom and Dad are the source of all good stuff”.)

And to be totally serious, between the trips is the last free time you have in a very long time. Enjoy the party!

Not sure what in Germany is available for gift certificates but I know that I really appreciated and quickly used ones from Payless, Wal-Mart, and Target. I clothe my 4-some in mostly hand me downs but I do buy new underwear, shoes, socks, and winter boots for them all. These items do not generally get passed along in good enough condition to wear.

Also another gift I got that was really really appreciated is prepared meals brought to the house. One friend of my husband brought over 2 meals worth of Boston Chicken.

Another friend of mine bought me a personal chef that came over to my house and prepared some hot meals. If folks want sign up to make meals for you like some church groups do for new mothers – I’d say to say “Thank you very much!” Or in as they say in Polish “Dziękują bardzo" (jean koo yahe bardzoh)

One word of warning. People LOVE to buy big obnoxious toys for the “poor orphans”. First of all, they ain’t poor orphans any more, they’ve got you and you’ve got them. If people insist on buying “something for the kids”, ask for art supplies. Crayons, stickers, paper, kid scissors, craft sets. Or really basic things like balls of many sizes and shapes and textures.

The last thing they need is loud plastic “Śmieci” (smesh-she) (meaning garbage) that break easily and causes them to fight over it.

Hope this helps!

[LisArno]

Ha ha ha! I'm laughing and you two are completely innocent. We don't have nice stores, we have a military PX. There wasn't one pair of size 4T girls jeans there yesterday - just a single pair of long pants and we had already bought that (in green camouflage). The entire children's clothing section would fit into a usual Wendy's. The toy/game store would be about the same. We had a choice of three beds for the kids. Most of my American shopping is done over the internet or every other summer when I return to the States. We do buy quite a bit at German stores, but the exchange rate is absolutely horrible right now. [I do need to note that I am grateful for what we do have in our PX - could be worse and we'd have nothing]

If I were in the States, I would use the idea of zoo/museum/swimming passes, but there's nothing here that I would take my children to on a regular basis, though there are numerous "one time" places (Lego Land, Play Mobil, kiddie amusement parks,...) to visit and Germany isn't into gift certificates for those places.

I do appreciate your suggestions!

[LisArno]

I posted my previous post before reading Mom2_4s.

Thanks for the art supply ideas - those are readily found at German stores and much nicer and more original than anything I've seen in the States.

Meals would also be good. Especially since I'm no cook (though my first attempt at beer can chicken turned out wonderful yesterday).

Thanks for your suggestions.

[Jasiu]

My wife's academic adviser is also planning to throw her a "child shower." It sounds like a good idea to do this before children come home. Thanks for all the ideas!

[momraine]

One of my friends organized a meal birgade for her sister when she adopted. Since they too were doing the cacooning thing, she gave hand outs on quickly dropping off the food. Of course most people signed up so they could see the children, LOL, so they were introduced and then left quickly. They were instructed to bring the meals during the afternoon, ready to be heated or something to be served cold, so that the kids would not equate all these strangers so much with the meals as they would mom who heated and served them. Also while she was gone her sister filled freezer with meals and also stocked the cupboards with snacks and breakfast food and the fridge with lunch stuff. It was a great surprise when the new mom came home and found she did not need to shop for a while. Home made gift certificates offering to shop for you or to bring you a meal can be great. I say let them give you a shower, between trips. Then you can give some of the suggestions from here to a friend who can pass the word.

[LisArno]

I can also imagine the food delivery in exchange for sneaking a peak. Naturally, a few extras will offer to ride along, too Our yard has a wall and gates!!!! (Typical Germany).

[jessipea]

At my shower I want to have a suitcase to fill with gifts for the kids at the orphanage. That way, I will know what will fit and what won't...That isn't selfish and you can still get some gifts for your children.

I think the shower thing is a little difficult for our situations...I am so having a cool one...hopefully before I leave!

Jess