[LisArno]

I had a friend recently tell me "People only adopt when they can't have children...The point is to have your own". I explained that many parents choose adoption over childbirth, and then she made another somewhat negative remark today. My husband and I selected adoption over any type of fertility treatment, but this wouldn't count for her.

I know there are many people on this forum who have both adopted and biological children and informed her of such. My family is the same - my sister/I are bio and my brother is adopted. And I have two co-workers seriously considering adoption instead of any bio children.

Anybody have any statistics? I googled a few thoughts but didn't come up with anything.

(For those who have read other posts of mine, this is the same friend who told me we're "lucky" that our kids [referred/accepted] are cute. She truly is a friend - she just needs to be educated!]

[momraine]

We chose to do both. We had bio kids and then also adopted and are adopting again. We felt that there were children who needed homes and we love children so it seemed silly to us to have more when there were already kids needing homes.

[Lorraine123]

I have two biological children and my youngest is adopted. We don't know if we can actually have biolgoical children or not, but we chose adoption. We didn't want to start over with an infant, so we chose older child adoption. People do not only adopt because they are unable to have children of their own.

[Mom2_4]

Yeah, most, but by no means all, folks come to adoption from infertility. However, when folks call it second best, I believe that these people think that their bio child will take only the best characteristics of the parents.

In the land of reality, while usually resembling a parent or close relative, a child will get a mixed bag of the parents physical and mental traits. So yeah, my bio boy is hyperlexic (speed demon reader with high comprehension) like me and looks like he will be broad shouldered like Dad, he also inherited my pasty white insta-burn skin and the fussy eating habits of most of Hubby’s siblings.

With adoption, I got three kids who tan beautifully, run like the wind, love fruit and veggies, and will never have the weigh problems I struggle with and probably won’t have the heart and vascular problems that dog many of hubby’s relatives.

With both bio and adopted children, you can do things to improve their health (good prenatal care for bios and medical reviews of adoptees), however in the end, it is in the hands of the good Lord.

[Mom2_4]

[quote=Lorraine123]I. . . We didn't want to start over with an infant, so we chose older child adoption. [quote]

It seems that hubby and I are unusual to have adopted a large sibling group with a bio child who wasn’t much older. In Polish family court I was asked the "hardball" questions. (And no, the lawyer really didn’t prep us beyond, “talk slow so the translator can catch up.”)

Q: "Why didn't you go through fertility treatments?”

A: “I’m too Catholic for that.”

Q: “Why didn’t you adopt a baby?”

A: “I have an almost 10 year old child. I wanted one family not two.”

Q: “Why didn’t you adopt an older child in America?”

A: “I wanted to make sure that these were my children forever.”

Q: “Won’t you love your bio child more than your adopted children?”

A: “It is the daily care of the child and the trust that builds with that care, that builds the love not shared DNA.”

[sands]

My hubby & I can have biological children but God pressed adoption upon both of our hearts. I then got my tubes tied and we adopted 2 little boys in November. For some, it IS a calling!

Hoping to adopt 2 more very very soon! There is no greater joy.

[lastpaige]

Had to laugh about this question . .

Q: “Won’t you love your bio child more than your adopted children?”

Personally, my husband is not biologically related to me, but I love him more than I've ever loved anyone . . .

[manatus]

My husband and I chose adoption as our preferred way to grow our family. We are hoping to adopt 2 siblings. I am not sure if it is unusual or not - it was just the right choice for us. We had no fertility issues. As an earlier poster stated - it was something we have always been drawn to, knowing that there are so many children in the world that need a home and a family.

Thanks to Mom 2_4 for the Court Q& A examples! It helps to know what to expect.

[Jasiu]

Are you adopting from Poland? What ages of children are you hoping for?

Originally Posted by manatus

My husband and I chose adoption as our preferred way to grow our family. We are hoping to adopt 2 siblings. I am not sure if it is unusual or not - it was just the right choice for us. We had no fertility issues. As an earlier poster stated - it was something we have always been drawn to, knowing that there are so many children in the world that need a home and a family.

Thanks to Mom 2_4 for the Court Q& A examples! It helps to know what to expect.

[manatus]

Oh my gosh - I guess I didn't say. We are hoping to adopt two siblings age 6 or under from Poland. My husband's family is Polish, and we still have some relatives in Country.

Our dossier was accepted in September 05.

[Jasiu]

Are you working with an agency or independently? I was curious because you seem to have waited for your referral for almost a year?

[manatus]

Im am with a facilitator.

[Amysue1112]

Sands...I am with you....Adoption is a calling!
God also put it on our hearts to adopt-and as far as we know, we can have bio children. But now that we have our precious daughter home, I can't imagine anything greater!
We plan on adopting another child one day (hence on the Poland board "looking around". Hannah is from Russia and we probably won't go through that again....


Mom24...LOVE the answers in court..especially "I am too catholic"! We are Catholic too so we understand the feelings, but so many don't...