[ready2bmom]

I don't check this site much and it seems that this thread has run its course but in reading through all of the messages I just felt I needed to post a message.


I am looking for actions I can take to get my referal and I am sure that everyone is looking for the magic words. I have been waiting 3 years for a referral with no end in site. I have repeatedly talked with the agency and even had the agency set up a conference call with the attorney in Poland so I could maybe get some answers.

Initially I was looking to adopt 2 children but it looks like it will only be one because I am Single. The age I am looking for is 6-8 years old-small window I know but I really don't want to adopt a child older than 8 and being 46 -6 is the younger I can adopt.

I am not used to doing nothing and I am not getting real answers of why it is taking so long-yes they mentioned that things have changed since my dossier was submitted like more countries adopting (by the way, I had heard that Italy tells the parents which children they are adopting-they don't get to decide whether they will accept the referral-the must accept it) and the Polish economy doing better so more children say in country.

It is so frustrating. My 171H expires for the second time in December and I don't know whether to renew or to go to another country-it means starting the process over but at the rate I am going it may be completed sooner. I just need to decide whether adopting is important or if adopting from Poland is what is important.

Anyway, just windering what others have done to maybe be more proactive. I have thought about taking a trip over there to meet with the ministries. I have written the embassy-nothing has come of it but it felt like I was at least doing something.

Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

[momraine]

A couple of things are probably not in your favor. Your age, your singleness and your narrow scope of age range.
Do you know if your file is with more than one of the adoption centers? If it is only with one, then it will take you longer to get a child. To put it very bluntly here is what must happen for you to get a refferal.
1. only one third of available children will be given to the center with your file, the other 2/3 of children are not at all available to you. Of those children (remember that not ever child in the orphanage is available for adoption) many will not fit your age range, others will be part of larger sibling groups and even if there are two, it's very unlikely both will be in your requested age range. Some will also have disabilities or other issues that you may not be willing to accept, or that they think you will not accept, depending on how you worded things.
2. OK so say in spite of all that a child comes up that meets all of your creteria. Well first they are going to go through thier list of people who applied who are Polish and living in Poland. If none of them have asked for a child or sibling group like this one, they will look at the people of Polish descent who are not living in Poland. If none of them are looking for a child or children like this one then they will move on to the rest. Of those rest, they are going to prefer Catholics, and probably look at them first, and then practicing Christians, and then couples. Singles are probably at the bottom of the list.

To be very blunt, they are not interested in finding you a child. Rather they are interested in finding the best possible home for the children. Those things I listed above are things they consider important in matching a child. They do not do it first come, first served. Even though your file has been there two years, if someone of Polish descent who is catholic and married asks for a child in the same age range (and it's likely since many will put large age ranges) then they will get the refferal before you even if they were just approved a month ago. Now, I don't know, you may be Catholic and Polish, but the singleness is probably going against you. I don't know if a visit would help or not. But it may be time to look at other countries if you are worried about the time it is taking.
I really didn't want to be negative, but from your post you seemed like the type of person who really wants to hear it like it is. If you are willing to wait, you might one day get a child from Poland, but if you are looking for faster, you are probably better off going somewhere else. Also you might consider taking a child with mild problems. Things like crossed eyes are considered special needs, as are children missing a few fingers or with a club foot.
I wish you luck and will pray you find your child.
Lorraine

[Jasiu]

Based on my information, momraine is correct.There is a new member on this board (hanula) who also waited for years to bring her child home. She is married, born and raised in Poland (residing in Switzerland). She was on the "B" list, right after Poles residing in Poland. She also had a narrow window for age. Perhaps you can write her and get some information.

Taking initiative may help, but we are not sure how much. My wife and I went to the adoption center and met with staff. We feel it was useful to put faces on our application. We have not received a referral yet, but have been qualified for only two months.

In any case, your facilitators should give you some answers. Obviously, you were qualified in the first place so you were deemed to be acceptable as parent to the centers.

Also, have you been given any referral at all? (even if you turned it down). Are you willing to accept a child with some health issues/disability? Has anyone ever suggested that you get in touch with Celia Berdes, a single woman who adopted one, and then another child from Poland fairly recently?

Overall, adopting from Russia or Guatemala would definitely be easier in your case, if you are willing to consider that. Good luck and best wishes.

Originally Posted by ready2bmom

I don't check this site much and it seems that this thread has run its course but in reading through all of the messages I just felt I needed to post a message.


I am looking for actions I can take to get my referal and I am sure that everyone is looking for the magic words. I have been waiting 3 years for a referral with no end in site. I have repeatedly talked with the agency and even had the agency set up a conference call with the attorney in Poland so I could maybe get some answers.

Initially I was looking to adopt 2 children but it looks like it will only be one because I am Single. The age I am looking for is 6-8 years old-small window I know but I really don't want to adopt a child older than 8 and being 46 -6 is the younger I can adopt.

I am not used to doing nothing and I am not getting real answers of why it is taking so long-yes they mentioned that things have changed since my dossier was submitted like more countries adopting (by the way, I had heard that Italy tells the parents which children they are adopting-they don't get to decide whether they will accept the referral-the must accept it) and the Polish economy doing better so more children say in country.

It is so frustrating. My 171H expires for the second time in December and I don't know whether to renew or to go to another country-it means starting the process over but at the rate I am going it may be completed sooner. I just need to decide whether adopting is important or if adopting from Poland is what is important.

Anyway, just windering what others have done to maybe be more proactive. I have thought about taking a trip over there to meet with the ministries. I have written the embassy-nothing has come of it but it felt like I was at least doing something.

Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

[riverview]

howlong is the process from Poland, what is the average age of child,sex can you pick the child?, cost ect... How does it compare to the Guatemalan I am doing now:6months/25,000 and easy. Thanks, Jen

[Jasiu]

Short answer:

1. The process from starting to bringing a child home is usually about 1.5 yr or slightly more than this.

2. Children are always over 12 months, girls or boys, one or a sibling group (many families decide to adopt 2, 3 or more children at the same time).

3. Generally, working with an agency, the total cost is up to $35,000 (including travel). We are not using an agency and hope to pay up to $15,000 total.

4. You must pick up the child from Poland, it is a one or two trip process usually. Polish adoption authorities think it is necessary to meet the child to make the final decision about adopting. In a one trip proces, you first you go to bond with you child for 2 weeks and then after the court judgment becomes valid, which usually takes 21 days, you travel again for about a week to get the visa for the child, and pick her up). Some families, or at least one of the couple, decide to stay the whole time, which usually takes about 6 weeks.

5. In the case of Poland, there is a strong preference for married couples adopting (mother and father), while in the case of Guatemala it usually does not matter.

6. In Poland there are fairly strict age requirements, the difference between parents and children should be no more than 40 yrs, which is deemed natural and proper. I believe that Guatemala allows parents older than 50 to adopt an infant.

7. There is no DNA testing: Polish orphans are usually social orphans (parents were deprived of parental rights for various reasons).

Good luck with your adoption.

Originally Posted by riverview

howlong is the process from Poland, what is the average age of child,sex can you pick the child?, cost ect... How does it compare to the Guatemalan I am doing now:6months/25,000 and easy. Thanks, Jen