[Mardan]

Hi,
I just sent you a pm about Adoptions From the Heart.

Julie (proud mom to a princess and a prince)

[leenie71]

jf5505, welcome and congrats on starting your journey! It really is overwhelming especially when you're still trying to decide on your adoption agency, etc. I went to WCU (way back when...graduated in '94). Best of luck to you!

Sheila, the hs was really easy....dh and I were anxious, but our sw was really easy-going and so nice. She took a quick tour of the house. I was sure she was going to say something about the lack of a rail going down to our finished basement, but she didn't. Then we just sat in the living room and she asked us questions about what we wrote in our autobiographies. We still have to get our physicals done and I have to send her a few more documents, but I'm hoping that it will be finalized by the end of the month. How exciting that the emom is including you before the birth! Do you know if she's OK about you being at the delivery? I would love that. Are you using an agency?

Stephanie, great to hear that everything went well with your meeting with emom!

myccg, good to hear that everything worked out in the end....I'm pretty much expecting the failed matches. That's my pessimistic attitude after years of IVF Facilitator is not cheap, but I think it's a good fit for us.

What's everyone doing for v-day?

Eileen

[hoping4u]

Eileen ~ Thanks for the info on the hs! I am trying to relax over it! I haven't talked to her about the birth but I am hoping she will be OK, if not that fine too. I just want her to be comfortable.

We are using Adoption Associates, it is a lawyer who only does adoptions, full service agency. She has an office in Reading & Wayne. She seems to be good so far, but I really have nothing to compare it too! We had our first meeting in July 2007 and were matched in January 2008.

Sheila

[leenie71]

Hi Sheila,
I talked with Barbara Casey....she seems nice. I thought about using her just for our hs, but I found someone closer and a bit cheaper. However, we will need an attorney, so I may consider her in the future for the legals. Does she work mostly with emoms in PA? That seems like a really quick match!! Good for you! Hope everything continues to go smoothly....when is emom due?

[hoping4u]

Hi Eileen,

Our emom is due April 26. It really was a quick match.

We had the option of going on a networking system, where you pay a fee and then receive emails from other agencies around the country about potential situations. They give you the specifics like race, cost estimate, emom info (age, ect..) any health concerns ect. you can then decide if you would like to be considered and make the necessary contacts. She does do her own advertising nation wide and I think thats how she found our emom. I had talked to a emom from NC back in Sept but she didn't choose us. That one was through a contact on the networking system. Barbara Casey will be taking care of our finalization ect. Like I said I really don't have anyone to compare to but things seem to be going well so far! I had checked into some other places but just liked that she was so close to home.

I am a little annoyed about our hs, it just seems to be taking so long. I had paid for an expidited hs back in early Dec. That was supposed be done in 45 days but we still are not done. I am planning on telling them I would like the difference from the exp. hs and the regular hs as a credit. It is about $250 but every little bit makes a difference! And it wasn't done by the time it was supposed to be so I think it's only fair.

Anyway, thanks for the well wishes! I'm so glad I found this forum and can connect with others who are riding this roller coaster too!

Sheila

[leenie71]

Hi Sheila,
That is so interesting about the networking system....I've seen one of those sites where agencies/facilitators post potential situations. It's fascinating to read. Does Barbara charge a flat fee for that or does it depend on the situation? I actually spoke with Barbara a few weeks ago when I was looking into her hs services and she said something about having new social workers starting because they were getting busy...maybe that's part of the delay? I would definitely ask for some money back for your not so expedited hs!

It's great to chat with others who live in the same area who are going or have been through this process! I dont feel so alone! Well, of course dh is with me, but he's not so much into talking about the process as often as I do (which lately, is often! LOL)

Have a great night!

[hoping4u]

Eileen,

The networking is charged as a flat fee, and I think it is only for 1 year. If I am remembering correctly It was $4,200. I could be off a little. Looking back I wouldn't have had to pay the fee and start the networking because we were matched through Barbara. But I guess its one of those things you never know!

Sheila

[leenie71]

Hi Sheila,
So, you can either do networking or Barbara can match as an attorney? Is there a big price difference between the two?

Eileen

[hoping4u]

Hello,

She gave us a few different options. You can do the networking and if you are matched through another agency you would have to pay the other agency expenses plus her fee for lawyer fees and finalization. You could also do your own personal advertising to find a bmom, then pay her lawyer fees and finalization. Our if she found the bmom you pay her all fees for a "full service". Which means she deals with the bmom from start to finish. I knew we didn't want to do our own advertising, I just felt its too risky. A professional would hopefully know what to look for to weed out scammers. We wanted to go on the networking to increase our chances of finding a match, I didn't know how many situations Barbara's office delt with personally. You do pay for the networking and if you are matched through that you would have to pay an agency fee anyway. So I guess its kind of like the same thing if Barbara matches you because you pay the agency fee to her instead, in addition to the other lawyer and finalization costs.

I hope this makes sense!

Sheila

[leenie71]

Hey Sheila,
That makes sense what you chose to do....as I mentioned before, I may contact her again to do the legal stuff for us.

Anyone else have attorney recommendations for finalization? Just want to have a few names for when the time comes....

Eileen

[jf5505]

Hi Again...Hope everyone is well!

Just wanted to check in and say hello...I still am having trouble picking an agency, I think friends of ours used Barbara, but from what I heard if the match changes her mind then you lose money, but if you go through an agency you don't lose money, is this correct or not? Also, as you guys are from Pa would you use a PA agency or would you try to use one from a State like NJ where the Law is not as strict, only 72 hrs. I guess that is my big dilemma right now. I am scared to make the wrong decision.

[leenie71]

hey jf5505,
PA laws are scary, but I think it's rare that a match is disrupted...I know that my facilitator works with bmoms in PA, but we do have a choice about whether we want to go with a situation that involves a PA bmom. We probably wouldn't want to or in any other state that has a longer relinquishment period.

When looking at agencies are you asking where their bmoms are located? Because I'm not using an agency, I'm not exactly sure how it works, but there are probably a lot of agencies in this area that work with bmoms from NJ because of our proximity to it. You would have to check with the laws, but you may be able to finalize in NJ or other adoption friendly states, if the bmom happens to give birth in one. I don't know anything about NJ laws!

Have you narrowed down your agencies?

[Perdie]

Hi, Eileen
I am a Delco native (Collingdale) living in ChesterCo now just wanted to say HI!!

[leenie71]

Hi Perdie...I live in (and grew up) in Prospect Park. Thanks for saying hi! Not many Delco people around....

Eileen

[jf5505]

I am in Chesco too..West Chester, how about you?

Leenie, I am looking at AFTH, Adoption Associate (barbara), and that is pretty much it, I have no clue really where to start, I know people who used AFTH but they are from NJ so they got to use the NJ law.

How do you find a really good agency outside of PA? I don't know where to look besides online...