[mamalove23]

We have had our foster son for 18 month. TPR was granted and we are waiting in the 30 days currently. Grandma has been trying (unsucessfully) to get custody of my baby boy for the last 11 months. The agency has stated that they will never agree with Grandma having custody because she is not safe...because she has a good lawyer though or adoption worker has told us that Grandma could make the process slower. We know that she is also filing an intent to adopt.

My question is how long can she draw things out??



It is frustrating that after this long she could even interfere!!

[Withay]

Probably not what you want to hear, but I feel you need to hear it.

Grandma has been trying (unsucessfully) to get custody of my baby boy for the last 11 months.

This is her grandson, not your baby boy. He is your foster son. There is a huge difference. Unless and until you finalize an adoption he will not be your baby boy.

It is frustrating that after this long she could even interfere!!

If you were the grandmother would you 'interfere' for 11 months to try to have him in your home? Please try to understand her point of view. She loves her grandson and wants to have the opportunity to raise him. I can certainly understand that.

My question is how long can she draw things out??

I do not know the answer to this. It could be that she would reconsider and drop the issue and hope that if you adopted him that you would be kind enough to let her have some contact, be it in person, by telephone or letter or......

Food for thought.

[mommytoEli]

let's say that they entertain grandma's appeal and she doesn't win....it could still hold up the appeals process for quite some time....of course delaying finalization. we had one case that was slowed down during the appeals for about 6 months, and one over a year. i hear lots of people say their appeals process lasted about a year...so you may be in for quite a ride.

[iammykidsmom]

she's a relative, and if she's fit, then she should have the opportunity to raise HER grandson. has a homestudy been done? family should have first option to adopt if they are safe and able to care for the child.

[mamalove23]

Grandma has already proven to be unfit...she was allowed to take him home from the hospital. She lost him in the first place. Where I am from Grandma's don't get second chances (in her case it would be the fifth chance bc it took so long to catch what she was doing)...she put his life in GREAT danger...


I am 100% supportive of appropriate family RU

also with our other adoptions we have succesful open adoptions...and I consider all of my foster children
"my children" that is how they are treated and all of their parents have appreciated that. I feel sorry for any foster mother who cannot say that her "foster children" are "her children"!!

now will someone please tell me how long she can drag things out...

[mommytoEli]

as i said before.... appeals for many people last for about a year. i think 6-12 months is a good average appeal time. so it could drag on for a while...i believe because tpr has been granted, anything grandma is filing would be considered an appeal.

[mamalove23]

Thanks...we will be praying for closer to 6 months rather then a year!!

[iammykidsmom]

Originally Posted by mamalove23

Grandma has already proven to be unfit...she was allowed to take him home from the hospital. She lost him in the first place. Where I am from Grandma's don't get second chances (in her case it would be the fifth chance bc it took so long to catch what she was doing)...she put his life in GREAT danger...


I am 100% supportive of appropriate family RU

also with our other adoptions we have succesful open adoptions...and I consider all of my foster children
"my children" that is how they are treated and all of their parents have appreciated that. I feel sorry for any foster mother who cannot say that her "foster children" are "her children"!!

now will someone please tell me how long she can drag things out...

I consider my foster kids in the 'my children' statement as well, but when it comes to court and visits, the reality is, they aren't my kids legally. no one knows how long she can drag it out! it varies by state, county and case. Grandmas may well get a second chance, she's family. I've seen courts go way out of the way to reunify children with family.