I have a (biological) three year old son and am thinking that it might be time soon for him to have a sibling. I had a hard pregnancy with him, so I'm definitely not doing it myself--which is where adoption comes in. However, I've heard such horror stories about the exorbitant cost of adoption, and then I heard that if you start out with a foster child and then adopt him/her, the cost is minimal to nothing.

My questions are:

--if I get a foster child and then adopt him/her, what are the costs?

--where/how do I begin the process?

--we want a slightly older child, maybe 1 or 2 years old--will that make it easier for us to get someone sooner rather than later?

--this might be kind of a weird question, but if we get a younger toddler, like a 1-year-old, is there any ettiquette or unwritten rules (or even opnion) about changing his/her name if we don't like the name he/she was given? Obviously for an older child that wouldn't work, but for a younger one it might, I don't know.

Thanks for your responses!

Jessica

[psmileyf]

I know this only through reading materials and my own research, not through experience.
You begin the process by filling out the application to become a foster parent. You go through all the backgrund checks and home visits to get approved. Then you attend mandatory training.

You can request what ages you would like to work with. I do not know if the slightly older children are more available...

The goal is to work with the birth parents and return the child to them, adoption is not the ultimate goal. So you would need to deal with the fact that you have to work with the birth parents and chances are, the child will be returned to the birth parents. While the child is in foster care, you could not change the name...after adoption, I am not sure...

[Coonieg125]

I was a foster parent in NE PA for ten years I have also adopted four children. Not knowing where you live I can only speak about our personal situation the cost to adopt a foster child was for the adopting parents to pay their attorney fees these fees vary from one lawyer to another. To begin you have to contact the agency you want to foster through file application, go through State Police and child abuse clearances, have home inspections, meet with a case worker and there are usually classes and training. You can choose an age group that you are willing to work with and it's best to let them know up front that you would like to adopt in the future. As far as the name change goes you can call your foster child a nickname but the name can't be changed until after they are adopted, don't forget that most Foster children still have visits and regular contact with their family and that can get tough enough without the nat family finding out that you are not calling them by their given name. Lots of luck