[denham]

My 3 year old FD has now truly realized that after a month of being with my Dh and I that she is not going back to her previous foster home. While she continues to bond with us, she now mentions missing her mommy"D", asking where she is and sometimes cries.I know she is sad. I hold her and tell her that it's ok to be sad and that I miss mommy D too. What else can I do for her? I let her be sad for a little while and then distract her with playing a game most of the time it works. Last night she just wanted to sit with me in the rocker and I put on Dragon lands for "we" to watch
Would you suggest anything else? I can imagine that this grief is normal. she was with her former family for a year and has only been with us for a month.

[crick]

Do you have any pictures of her previous fm and her together that you could frame? Or maybe have her draw fm a picture to mail and maybe fm can keep in touch a bit?

It is hard and I found it easier on my kids to know that not every loss they experienced was a permanent one. So for a long time, we kept in touch with their fp's and that really did help.

[denham]

Is there any negative effect on having them keep in touch by phone? Is there a chance that it will be more traumatic when they hear their voices but still know that she will not be returning to them?
I love the idea of making a little album. I do have some pictures of the former family.

[greenrobin]

Just my opinion, but a month is a very short time to reintroduce mommy D. The album is great. So is writing letters--whatever that might look like to her. There is a great deal to be gained by allowing her to maintain important emotional connections. But at 3, it might be kind of confusing to her.

And I may be absolutely wrong, because kids will never cease to surprise me.

I think I would wait a little while, let her bond well with you, and then start contact. Barring any legal reasons to avoid it, I am sure mommy D would love to know how everyone's baby is doing.

I know I'd give body parts to know how Queenie is. It's hard to see them go.

I think you're super duper for honoring mommy D and your little one's connection!