[valugirl]

Hi< I am in need of advice please. My 3 almost 4 dd is a pure devil when it is bedtime. Last night was the worst. Did the whole bed time things bath, teeth, read books and rub her back for a few minutes. But after hour and half of ever excuse in the box. I told that is it, it is time for bed. So I thought she would cry it out. She wnet crazy throwing things everywhere including removing her mattress on to the floor flipped over and her siting on the box springs. Help please. I can't it. I keep putting her back in her bed. but she screaams and destroys everything. I know she is a strong willed child, but at all almost 4 doing this. What is she going to be like at 16 yrs. old. help me please I love her with all my heart.

[katy41]

have you tried gradual retreat
1st night...lie down with her
2nd night...kneel next to bed and hug her
3rd night...sit next to bed and stroke back
4th night...sit next to bed hand on bed
5th night...sit near bed
6thnight...sit quite near bed
7th night...sit closer to door
...
...
till outside door
avoid eye contact and talking after saying goodnight,be gentle and go at her pace
although it takes longer than leaving them to cry, if you avoid interaction they usually go to sleep quite quickly after the 1st few nights.
at the end of the day what feels right for you will probably be right for her.
good luck

[rredhead]

I highly recommend the book How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will Too. I'm reading it right now, and it is really great at pointing out practical solutions to behavioral problems.

This is what has worked for us:
Write down the routine, from start to finish. Include pictures so she can see what the items are. For example:
1. Bath
2. Brush teeth
3. Get into pjs.
and ends with
x. Tuck in.
y. Stay in bed until the sun comes up.

If she accomplishes the routine, she gets a sticker. For every X number of stickers, she gets a surprise. For our son, we counted the number of stickers in a month and gave him a small toy.

Good luck!

[linda512]

Is she still napping? A few months ago, my son, at around 3, would not go to sleep. He was like a crazy demon, like a child I did not know- throwing things, laughing maniacally (?sp) and crazed. I could not control him. He would not stay in time out, so I would do time in, where I held him in the rocking chair and then put him back in bed.
That helped, but what really helped was getting rid of his nap. He just was not tired. Now he is exhausted at night and falls asleep pretty quickly. I feel for you- it is really hard. I miss the nap, but am so grateful he goes down easily now.

[DPline]

I second what rredhead said about a reward chart. She gets X (outing, toy, whatever) if she goes to bed and stays in bed for X number of nights.

For whatever reason, a reward chart with stickers has always been the one thing that works with my daughter. From potty training to staying in bed.

Good luck!

[Janelee]

Sounds like my daughter who gets hyper at bedtime. But I think she is actually tired - she is 2.5 years. Is that too young for the sticjer strategy?

[LDC]

This is the topic I was looking for. My 4 1/2 year old has now decided to throw fits at bed time. My husband and I went away overnight and ever since she has been throwing a fit at bed time and crying when I take her to daycare. It's been a couple of weeks now and we are at our wits end. I think I will try the sticker chart, but my question is...what do I do about my almost 7 year old who goes to bed without a problem? He will be jealous if his sister gets rewarded for going to bed and he doesn't. Any suggestions?

Thanks,
Lisa
mom to Carlos & Sophia

[CaddoRose]

Originally Posted by LDC

This is the topic I was looking for. My 4 1/2 year old has now decided to throw fits at bed time. My husband and I went away overnight and ever since she has been throwing a fit at bed time and crying when I take her to daycare. It's been a couple of weeks now and we are at our wits end. I think I will try the sticker chart, but my question is...what do I do about my almost 7 year old who goes to bed without a problem? He will be jealous if his sister gets rewarded for going to bed and he doesn't. Any suggestions?

Thanks,
Lisa
mom to Carlos & Sophia

Make that boy his own sticker chart and reward him for just being a good boy!!! You can also give him chores to do and he gets a sticker for doing his chores. It doesn't have to be huge things. It can be setting the table for dinner, picking up his toys, making his bed, etc. Anything to help around the house will do. It sounds like you can make a special area for a sticker that is used because they both are being good. Sometimes we forget to praise our kids when they are being good. If they are playing well, reading a book, watching TV ,
etc, put a sticker in the special box. Remember though, don't take away a sticker once it's earned.

[flx89]

katy's advice i think it's the best. this may take time, and you need to be very patience.

[momraine]

In our house any toys thrown inside the house (and anything not meant to be thrown that is thrown outside) goes into time out. Even the mattress would here. It would not hurt her to sleep on a box spring for one night.
Something else to look at, did this start suddenly, or has she been gradually pushing back bedtime with excuses and you suddenly put a stop to it? If the change is sudden on her part, you might see if there is something else going on with her, something she is afraid of or something that is bothering her. If it's on your part, then she will eventually adjust, it will just be tough on you for a while.