[Singlemom619]

In another thread we started talking about leaving children home alone...

So I'm curious what other people think about this topic, ages, ect...

Here's what I said in the other thread:

In my county they "Advise" that a child can be left alone for 1-3 hours at 10 years old. Then at 12 or 13 (don't remember which) they can be left alone for several hours. This is during the day time only.

They say it's based on the child's maturity and responsibility levels....

I remember being a latch key kid in kindergarten.... I had two older siblings that were in 3rd and 4th grade and we were home alone every day until 5-7 PM... Sometimes they'd go to their freinds' homes and I was home alone.

I'm not saying it's right - and I have rarely ever left my kid alone (last year at 9 I left him once to drive 2 miles to Blockbuster to drop off the movie that was overdue and this year at 10 I've left him to drive 1 mile to the grocery store to grab butter and milk.)

I just think you need to be aware of the rules in your area - and just because a child is home alone at 11 or 12 after school for a few hours does NOT mean they're being abused or neglected. For all you know the mother is doing everything she can to get by and can't afford after school programs.

And then I found this information:

According to the National Child Care Information Center, only Maryland and Illinois have specific laws stipulating the age at which a child can be left home alone.
However, the National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left home alone.
When you're ready to leave your child home alone for the first time, be sure to:

• Consider your child's age and maturity level. For example, if your child is extremely impulsive, you might want to wait until he or she is older than 12.
  
  
• Begin with several "dry runs" where you leave your child home alone for short periods of time.
  
  
• Leave a phone number where you can be reached. If possible, provide a land line in addition to your cell phone number, just in case your company's service is disrupted for any reason.
  
  
• Call home to check on your child.
  
  
• If possible, make arrangements for your child to check in with you, or with a relative or neighbor, while you are out.
  
  
• Thoroughly prepare your child for staying home alone. Consider using a book, such as Dottie Raymer's Staying Home Alone, to discuss what it means to make safe choices.
  
  
• Be specific in discussing your expectations and how you would like your child to use his or her time. For example:

  • Is the TV allowed?
  • If so, are there any channels that are off-limits?
  • Do you want your child to answer the phone?
  • Should homework be completed before you arrive?
  • May your child use the computer?
  • Can your child have friends over while you're not at home?
  • Can he or she go to other friends' houses?

• Make sure your home is childproof. For example:

  • Are medications kept in a locked cabinet?
  • Are there firearms in the home?
  • If so, are they in a locked cabinet and/or do they have child safety locks?
  • What could your child potentially get into that might cause harm?

• Practice handling emergencies. For example:

  • What would you do in an emergency?
  • What if someone were trying to get into the house?
  • What would you do if there were a fire?

• Ask your child if he or she feels confident and ready to stay home alone. If he or she is hesitant, hire a babysitter and reconsider this issue in six months.

[DPline]

I found that really interesting too. I guess it really comes down to the child. I leave my 10 year old on occassion for an hour or so to pick my younger two up at school, run a quick errand, etc. I am never more than a couple miles away, I call our home phone from my cell phone so all he has to do is hit redial if he wants to call me, and there are always several neighbors home if he felt he needed someone quicker than I could get there. And he knows not to answer the phone unless it is me (he can see the caller ID) and not to answer the door.

That said, I am not sure my younger son will EVER be mature enough to be trusted home alone! He takes impulsive and lack of good judgement to a whole new level!

I am really curious what others have to say. I think it does come down to the child and probably where you live as well, but 12 in general seems quite old. I was staying alone for short periods by age 8 and babysitting by 12.

[Singlemom619]

I was babysitting THREE Kids when I was 11... I can't believe it now - I'd never let an 11 year old watch my kids (heck the youngest sitter I had was 18 and my son was 7 then... Now the youngest sitter I've had (other than that one) was 22.

I do worry about my son being alone - I too call home and talk to him and he has a cell phone that calls me on autopilot... He's pretty impulsive which is why I call - BUT I've also found out that when I leave he pretty much stays in front of the TV or in his room - I think he's a bit nervous to go anywhere else - haha.

SO I'm not sure if I'll ever have him babysit (haha) for me or if I'll ever leave him home longer until he's 18

[crick]

I started leaving my oldest son at home alone for short periods at age 11. With my daughter it was 10.5 since she is more mature.

We have strict rules and so far they have shown to be very responsible. They always know where I'm going to be and I have the cell with me. I've also at times let the neighbor know so she can be a back up if necessary.

Everyone is different on this and while things have certainly changed over the years I personally believe that if I do not teach my children or start trusting them on small durations of time away from me, then they will not become responsible or trustworthy at an age where they MUST be.

[Mommy24]

Personally, I have never left any of my children under the age of 12 home alone and don't plan to. I have 4 children ranging from 16 to 7, if my older 2 can't be home with the younger 2 then I either wait for hubby to get home or I arrange for a sitter. I think no matter what level of maturity they are at, panic can set in when crisis arrives.Heck I worry that my 14 & 16 year old would panic and not make the right decision and that everything we have taught them and talked about would be gone from their memory in the event of a crisis.

But.....I worry about everything so maybe it's just me
I say to each his own, only you know what you think your child is capable of.

[kretzklan]

I will leave my 12 year old home alone when he so chooses - he generally has the option of going where we are going...but I won't force him. He does also become the 'sitter' for his siblings when DH and I have an evening out. Often we are with our neighbors so their DD and DS come over and they all hang out. DS2 is getting ready to turn 11 and he's not totally ready. Although I did leave he and DD home for 30 minutes the other evening while I ran DS1 to a practice to conduct a little team manager business. You can't imagine how proud he was when I got home. For that reason alone - I feel it's important to let them know that I believe in them! DD...another story...

[millie58]

I leave my 14 yo home for 2-3 hours. I left L, my 11 yo for 2 hours when he was 10. He'd be one to stay in front of the TV. I'm working up to my 14 yo babysitting on a regular basis. He's mature in some ways and not mature in others.

[Jensboys]

I was the original commentor on that thread about the 12 year old age limit. I will leave my 11 year old home in charge of my 7 year old for an hour or two. My 11 year old is INCREDIBLY responsible. My 12 year old I will leave home alone ... but HATE to leave him in charge of anyone, or home alone with any of his brothers (including the older) because he picks fights and has poor impulse control. My 14 year old has been left in charge of his brothers on several occasions, with never a problem.

My husband and I both carry cell phones and our town is small == we are never more than a 5-7 minute drive away. And without fail the kids call it to ask permission for things exactly the same way that they would if I was at home eg "Can I have a cookie" "can I go on the computer" etc

My biggest deciding factor on when kids are ready to be left home alone is when THEY are ready and asking for the privilege. FOr some kids it might be 9 or 10, for some it might be 12 or 13.

In regards to our 12 year old, his counsellor is encouraging us to leave him home alone more often to increase his resiliancy for "alone time".

Anyways, I think SOME kids are perfectly capable of staying home alone for brief periods at 9. In our province there is no "minumum" age. And yes, I was babysitting for 8-10 hours at a time at the age of 11. Wow. hard to believe that now

[JustCourtney]

Things really have changed! I lived about a half mile from my elementary school, and I walked to and from school alone starting in the spring of first grade! Heck, we would ride our bikes all over town, and run the neighborhood all day in the summer, reporting home for lunch and dinner only! I think my parents left me for short bits about 9, and I was babysitting at 12 - I got certified at the local library by the Red Cross!

Slightly OT, but this thread got me thinking....I am afraid that cell phones, and the ability to keep in close contact while away from home might create a false sense of security for some parents, and they might leave their kids before they are ready. On the other hand, it might also become a crutch for a lot of kids and hinder their ability to learn to think and act independently.

I would also like to add that my son is just a baby, and I am glad I don't have to worry about it for quite awhile !

[Happy123]

My oldest started staying home by herself at 12....she liked hanging out w/ mom. She started watching her siblings at 14.
I would never leave my 9 yr old boy home...with his impulse control I may not have a house.
My 12 year old stays at home by herself for up to an hour. I have hardly left her siblings at home due to the boys picking fights.
This reminds me why I don't leave them at home together. I was at the mall picking up my oldest when I get a call from my 12 year old FROM MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE......talk about freaked out. She then went on to explain that her brother hit her. She could not find the cell phone as her brother took it. Our house phone was buried due to toddler damage. I have always told them to go to the neighbor's house for an emergency, guess I forgot to explain what was an emergency. My neighbor thought it was funny. I did not....We now have established rules for not going to the neighbors...fighting is one of them.
Happy123