[Kirsty814]

Hi there,

We're about to adopt our second child. Both dh and I are 38. I have had rheumatoid arthritis for 10 years. I no longer have the energy I used to and have pain every day in many joints. I love being a mom to our son (adopted as an infant 5 years ago), and have learned techniques to maintain energy; power naps, saying NO to some opportunities, exercising, eating healthy, ask for help, prayer...
I can try to keep up with my son and he tries to slow down a little for me. He is sweet; opens cans for me, opens doors for me :-) and heck, I still get down on the floor to play checkers with him; i leave the wrestling to daddy! My husband is wonderfully supportive and extremely involved with our son.

Anyone else out there that lives with the challenge of parenting with chronic pain? We truly want to adopt again and are following this current lead (baby is due in Jan). I am a bit concerned about how I will feel physically with a newborn! I have a strong faith in God and believe that His strength is made perfect in my weaknesses.

Just looking for support....
Kirsten

[2manyks]

I have a neck injury from a car accident. i also live in constant pain. like you said, i try to conserve my energy for the important stuff. but I am concerned that a new baby will bring more fatigue - OK, i know i will be more tired, but i am hoping not too tired! we also have a match due in jan - just right around the corner! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kelceesmom]

HI Kirsten,
I have had RA for about 3-4 years now. I didn find that when we brought our little baby home it was much more difficult than I expected. My flare ups were more frequent and more severe. It is better these days but I am not able to pick my baby up nearly as much. Like you, I work through it and pray just for today. We do what we have to to get through another day.

[fostermommy]

Hi,

I have had RA for approximately 12 years. I also have fibromyalgia. Some days are so very hard. I am blessed to have a supportive husband; I could not do this without him! I "hear ya" on the power naps. I do my best to lay down right after the kids go down for naps, and zone out for about 20 minutes. I have three kids under 6 right now, and our toddler is the one who gives me the most run for my money--she is extremely active, and quite the daredevil. It's tough at times to be constantly on the move with her. Sometimes my bones scream for me to stop. I'm sure it will get easier as she gets older, so for now I just grin (well, maybe not grin!) and bear it.

[Kirsty814]

You all have been so encouraging. It's so good to know I'm not alone. There should be a separate forum topic for parents with chronic illness; our challenges are unique. Perhaps I'll suggest it to moderator?

Blessings to all!
Kirsten in IL

[fostermommy]

Kirsten, I think it would be wonderful to have a forum dedicated to parents with chronic illnesses. I rely heavily on my hubby to do the child related things I can't, but I'd bet others here have ideas that would help so I can do things myself. Oh what I'd give to be able to roll down a hill, run and hold on to my daughter's bike while she learns to balance/ride, or just to be able to chase the kids/throw a ball around, etc. Frustrating, isn't it! I used to take so much for granted! One thing that really hit home was when a friend of mine was talking about her childhood; she said all she remembered about her mother was that she was always "sick," that she was too tired or too ill to play or interact with her kids. Of course, my friend didn't know that I have the same issues her mom had, or else I'm sure she wouldn't have said that. It woke me up, though--I don't want my kids' memories of me to be the same!

[rredhead]

I think a new forum would be great. I have something called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. It's a neuropathic pain syndrome, meaning nerve pain. I tell people I have nerve damage in my knee. I was SO worried about being a mom and being able to carry a baby, bathe him, etc. We waited until I was "used to" having the disorder before starting to adopt. Helping with my friend's daughter showed me that I could do things like a "normal" mom. I'm fortunate, in that we found a combo of meds at the beginning of this year that have worked really well! DH still has to do some things that I'm not able to, and he's great at being a dad.
Happy New Year!

-R