[katlyn]

I could just cry everytime I think about it , I am so very mad too! Here goes, my four year old has 5 cavities, and yesterday I took him to get 2 filled. This is a Pediatric dentist mind you, and this is only his second formal trip to the dentist. Well, I asked them how this normally goes, because his is ONLY 4, and they said well we'll just take it slow and see how he does with it. Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I didn't know what is the norm for this sort of thing. He was on laughing gas, but I don't think it did a whole lot for him, he was very fidgety. The nurse gave him some numbing stuff so that it wouldn't be too bad with the shot....and I know most kids are terrified of reg shots, but to know you are getting one in your mouth! My nephews dentist tried three different approaches before finally deciding to put him to sleep for it, he was 4 too. NOT MY DENTIST ! She had another lady come in and I thought she was just going to assist.....this is where I got mad and upset....she laid across his legs and the other nurse held his head while they jabbed that needle in his mouth!!!!! I didn't know what they were going to do until they did it, they didn't even tell me or him. THEN...to top it off he kept saying ouch...ouch..while she was filling it and she said "it isn't hurting you...you're just making your mother upset, if you don't be still and stop I'll have to make your mom leave the room" , NOT THIS MOM! I feel like the worst mom in the world, all I could do was hold his hands and keep saying it's ok baby, it'll be over soon...then afterwards I said mommy's so sorry . Ugh, he has three more cavities to fill, you think he's going to go without a fight now???!!! I doubt it...two have to be capped which involves more . I'm going to get his records for which I have to pay 25 dollars after paying almost 200 yesterday and I HAVE insurance . THEN, I'm going to give them a piece of my mind and THEN I'm going to go to someone else. Does anyone have any ideas on this? Is this the Norm, do they usually do that sort of thing with children that young? HELP!

[SchmennaLeigh]

My Mother-in-law is a dental hygenist and that is NOT how they do little ones' fillings and numbing at her office. WOW.

You're not a terrible mom. At all. *hugs* When you're calling for new dentists, ask how they handle young patients and fillings/numbing. At least now you know what you don't want.

And thank you for sharing things like this so that the rest of us may learn.

[katlyn]

Thank YOU for letting me know that there are dentists out there who don't believe in scarring children and making them terrified of ever returning to the dentist.

[SchmennaLeigh]

*hugs* I promise you; there are great dentists out there. Let us know how your search goes!

[crick]

Not how my kids' dentist works...at all!!!

I'd complain and definitely call around for another dentist. I'd also have the new dentist call and ask for the records to be faxed over. I don't pay a fee for records when I do it that way?

[katlyn]

At least I know now what to look for and what I will do if anyone tries to hurt one of my children again.

[katlyn]

I'd also have the new dentist call and ask for the records to be faxed over. I don't pay a fee for records when I do it that way?

Thanks for the heads up, I did see a sign that said something about a 25 fee, but I don't remember the wording, I will try your suggestion though . I did call other dentists(2) and they both said NO they do not hold the child down, they both mentioned a valium or some form of sedation to relax him first. I SPECIFICALLY asked whether or not they ever hold children forcibly. I set up an appt with a new Dentist, and I told my son, I made sure to let him know that it was not the same dentist and that he was only going to visit the dentist. He didn't seem too upset with that, I told him that what happened yesterday would not happen again, mommy was not going to let another dentist hurt him like that. The girl who made my appt even put down the reason for switching dentist was due to TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE! I'll keep you posted, and I am going to make sure to let the head dentist know what her stand in dentist did, and ask her if it is her intention to terrify children so that they never want to go back. She is currently on maternity leave, so we'll see. Thanks for all your advice and moral support, I really needed it, I think my husband intends on going to the office in person and letting someone have it, and if you knew my husband, you would know that this is not the kind of person he is...he is quiet and not at all like those people you see yelling and hollering. I'll

[StorkWatcher]

My husband recently did some non-dental related work in office for a dentist - the same guy who started the Gentle Dentists is also now doing another one - I think it's called Comfy Dentist. You might look in your area. They're supposed to be really great.

My hubby was installing a projection screen and projector mount, so maybe they let kids watch movies during procedures... I didn't think to ask. But did think that we'd check them out when we take Babe to his first dental appointment.

[pechocha]

Oh, I could so relate to the Worst Mamma ever!! I took DD for her 9 month blood test yesterday, and they had to take blood from both arms , since she was moving so much with the first arm, blood stopped coming out, so they had to do the other arm... and I did the same thing, I was just holding her and telling her it will be over soon Why did I do that? I dont' know, believe me I was crying too, but didn't do anything else to stop the lady. However, I did tell the lady not to fill all three tubes like she wanted to do, hopefully they'll have enough to do all the tests. The first arm is bruised since she moved so much. So, I feel so bad!!!! and of course I did this all by myself, husband had to work

Isa

[katlyn]

and I did the same thing, I was just holding her and telling her it will be over soon Why did I do that? I don't' know, believe me I was crying too, but didn't do anything else to stop the lady. However, I did tell the lady not to fill all three tubes like she wanted to do, hopefully they'll have enough to do all the tests.

You did that because you didn't know what else to do, like myself, you felt helpless and you comforted her the only way you could at the moment. There are so many things out there that doctors do to children, some necessary, some not...we as parents are helpless sometimes as to WHAT we can and should do to ease the pain and dry the tears. At least you did something, I hate when my kids have to get shots....I cry every time. I'd take all their shots and all their pain if it were possible, as I'm sure any mom would do. You sound like a wonderful mommy, she's lucky to have you!

[Sniffles]

I know how you feel I have been there and done that. My son, who is 11 now, ad an abcest tooth right in front and had to have it pulled when he was 4. The dentist refused to put him to sleep or even give him the gas. They told me that they could not do that for children his age. So they put a shot in his mouth, then waited till he calmed down then put more in. Then took forever to pull it out. I have had teeth pulled before using the gas and I swear they will have to knock me out to do it again, so imagine how my poor son felt.
When I told my mom what happened she called her next door neighbor who just happens to be a dentist and he told her that they never should of done it that way. (BTW I was going to go to him, but he couldn't take our insurance)
After hearing this I called the dentist up and chewed her out and I told her I would never come back there again and I would make sure none of my family or friends did either.

[katlyn]

There is no way I would have let them do that to him, not to pull a tooth, I bet you did chew him out I know I would have. Thank goodness our children bounce back so quickly, I had to go and pick up my baby and my four yr old just passed out cold on the ride there. This is something he NEVER does, so I know he was just plain tuckered out...poor baby. I'm glad you let that dentist have it...I can't wait to say something to this one!

[kelceesmom]

You are not a bad mommy. You had no idea what was coming. And I think sometimes we are so shocked that we almost don't know what to do. You are taking care of your little one that is what counts.

[jazzedup]

I am an office manager in a dental office. This kind of treatment is not the norm.

I will say this.........I know it is hard for you to sit in the waiting room but kids do much better if the parents are not in the room with them. I would only do this in an office that does not hold down the kids to numb them.

My dentist tells the kids to close their eyes and they will feel a little pinch. She calls the drill the whistle train to get out the sugar bugs on their teeth.

I hope this helps.

[rredhead]

This is truly my memory of my first experience with the dentist, back in 1980 or so. I was 4 or 5, and I had to have a tooth pulled. (My father used to feed us spoonfuls of sugar. Thank you, Mary Poppins.) I was held down by the hygenist, and she kept saying, "Stop crying; you'll scare your sister" and other things like you wrote. I remember my mom and my little sister (age 3-4), standing on the other side of some glass, just staring at me.
After the appointment, I refused to go to the dentist. My mother would have brought us back to the same one, but I wouldn't get out of the car, if I remember correctly.
So, at the very least, you are a better mother than mine was in this regard. From my experience, I would add that you might want to check from time to time to ensure that your son has really gotten over the experience. Sometimes, kids forget that they're afraid, then remember, if that makes any sense.
You're doing the right thing now, and you've told your son why what happened, happened. You are a good mom.

-R