[mybaby]

Hi all,

I will be having surgery on Monday and don't know how to explain it to my 4 year old daughter. I postponed the surgery until now, to give us time to bond. We have come a long way and would not like a major setback in her attachment to me and her general behavior.

I am having a hard time explaining the upcoming changes to her. I will sleep at the hospital one night. My mother, who lives in another state, will stay with us for a month and I will not be able to carry her for 3 weeks. I also expect that for quite a few days I will be afraid that she comes too close, because she can inadvertedly touch my wounds. She is very active, so that is likely to happen.


Our daughter has been home since January and has adapted very well, we think. It has not been easy though. She is strong willed and will probably be for the rest of her life (like me). However she continues to progess. Her tantrums have decreased substantially, she seems much more "grounded", listens more, obeys more etc.

She also sleeps well (in her own bed), eats incredibly well and is very loving to us. I am finally begining to exhale. Our life is slowly becoming "normal".

We have come such a long way and have worked so hard to get to this point that I am afraid that this could cause a setback. What steps should I take? How should I explain this to her? (She is very smart and verbal)

Please help.

[busymum]

Hi
I also had to go into hospital when my daughter had been with us for 2 years (she was 5 yrs). I explained what was going to happen and she seemed to understand. She came with me to the hospital so she could see where I would be staying, everything was fine then she turned to me and told be "that she did not love me anymore". Although it was not nice to hear I understood that it was her way of trying to protect herself from being hurt (she would reject me before I left her). I think that no matter how much preparation you do their inner emotions take over. Time and the fact that you return help the bonding process.

Hope all goes well
Paula

[mybaby]

That was very helpful. I was being a little naive before I read some responses on other threads. This prepares me for some kind of setback.

Thanks.