[Sabra]

Hi:

I read this article and thought this could be true and can serve as a warning to us to look at our own lives.

What parts do you feel are true about this article?

A Mom or Dad's No. 1 Complaint

The No. 1 complaint of parents? They don't have enough time--good, quality time--to spend with their children.

The demands of long work hours, housework, and other responsibilities have encroached on the time they have to spend with their kids, The Associated Press reports of a new study of 1,000 parents and caregivers with children under 18 who are living at home. The study, which was released by the Boys & Girls Clubs of America and the Pennsylvania-based nonprofit group KidsPeace, was overseen by Harvard University psychiatrist Dr. Alvin Poussaint.

What's more, fully 94 percent of those surveyed are aware that there is a relationship between the amount of meaningful time parents spend with their kids and the way those kids deal with major issues, such as substance abuse and discipline. Knowing this doesn't make it any easier to carve out a few extra hours in the day to spend on the swings in the park or reading books together at bedtime.

Here are some of the findings, which may resonate with your household:

* 54 percent said they had little or no time to spend in physical activities with their children, such as taking a walk or playing catch in the backyard.
* Parents in about 3.5 million U.S. households spend an hour or less a week in some type of physical activity with their children.
* 50 percent of all parents either don't have enough time or wished they had more time to read to their kids or help with their homework or other educational activities.
* Although some 56 percent of parents acknowledged that their kids are worried about war and terrorism, fully 33 percent admitted they had not yet talked to their little ones about these big issues.
* 50 percent of parents and caregivers confessed they haven't talked to their children in the past year about sexual pressures or sexual activity.

The primary obstacle to all this: busy work schedules.

What's a parent to do? First, be aware of the situation. Second, recognize your child's need for your presence in his or her life. Third, figure out a way to make it happen.

"They can listen to their children. They can talk, not to their children, they can talk with their children," C.T. O'Donnell, the president and CEO of KidsPeace told AP. "They can take walks in park. They can spend meaningful, interactive reading time with their kids."

On your personal experiences because there are no right or wrong answers what have you observed that ties into this article?

What thoughts does this article bring to your mind?

[HappyMomAnna]

I have heard many parents say they don't feel they have time....both parents who work all day and parents who stay at home........ Time is what we make of it. Some days we have more and some days we have less...... but, it is how we feel when we use our time that seems to make the biggest difference...... It only takes a moment to connect with those we love. It does not need to be hours...
In our family we SET aside special time for everyone..... Each evening when daddy comes home we eat supper as a family. After supper, daddy gets his 15 mins with baby brother and mommy has her 15 mins with big sister.....and then we switch. In our 15 we focuse on the child and the time we are spending....we talk, or do a chore together, or read a book, play a game or just sit together. We have a rule not to barge in on anyone elses special time.... and the children are also taught the mommy and daddy have their special time together as well.
All said and done we can effectively provide one on one attention to each memeber of the family in the matter of an hour....
Even a mother at home all day can missuse the time she has....it is not about how much we share it is that we give our time consistantly and undeivided..... at least once in each day it is possible to make each other the most important thing in our lives.
Not having TIME is an excuse to me.....It is how we use our time that matters and everyone can find 15 mins to connect directly to another human it is easy to believe there is no time but, time is what we decide to make it....
There are nights when the 15 mins are painful to give, but none of us dies doing it....and afterwords we can often find a renewed energy for sharing such a tiny chunk of our day.

allof us should exercise daily for our own health---it is not hard to take a family walk in the morning or evening....
It takes 2-10 mins each night to read a child a book.... We use bedtime story to let one of us take a break from the day and be alone....while the other reads a few words to connect.
Unless a parent is leaving for work before the children wake up and coming home after they sleep there is no reason connections cannot be made..... If a parent is busy, they have opportunities to involve the children in someway. If it is an arrand to the store, there is a car ride---turn off the raido and talk to your children.
Some of the most rewarding converstaitons I had with my now 20 & 19 year olds happened in the car on the way to the store!
Children do not want for unending hours of our undevided attention---they simply want for us to get to know them, rejoyce in their accoplishments and talk about their fears. In fact most of us parents feel we need to go on and on about sensitive issues when in reality our children would rather we not go on and on.... Every important issue does not need to become a long lecture--the important issues need to be talked about in small times often. This makes our children feel safe to talk with us, knowing they will not end up in an all night conversation about why smoking is a bad thing to do. It takes a few moments to open the door and a few moments to keep that door open.
Even as our children grow and move a way from home -- A 5 min phone call can reconnect them and remind them the door is open the parent is here for them and it is ok to come for the 5 mins it takes to tell mom and dad how hard college is or the new job is...or what some boyfriend said....

[lonzygray]

You know, it's all a personal issue but my thought is this: People put too much emphasis on unneccessary things. If we all cut out some of the daily running around we seem to all do, we would have more time. Also, time IS what we make of it. Quality is just that...Quality and not Quantaty. People CAN make the time if they really want to. Sure, you may have to sacrifice something for that time, but what is more important than your children??? The little bits of time we do have should be used wisely. We, like most parents, are constantly on the road going to this or that but we use that time to talk with eachother. We talk about what is going on and we talk about anything. We make sure that we DO things with our children when we can. It may seem better to sleep in on Saturday morning or sit and watch toonies but instead we use that time to do family things. The TV is seldom on in our home...not so much because we don't like it, but because we are BUSY doing things together even if we are just all sitting in a room and reading to ourselves!!!