[angeluv]

Let me preface this by saying...I've read "What To Expect In The Toddler Years" and I know what the book says but I was curious if anyone out there has anything different to tell me or is it just as everything I've read says.....it's just a phase.

My 21 month old son is in daycare. He went through a separation anxiety period when he transitioned from the infant room to the next level for the 1-2 yr olds but we got beyond that. Within the last two weeks, he gets out of the car freely, goes in to the center and happily heads to his room. However, once we get inside his classroom, he begins clinging and doesn't want me to leave. It seems to be escalating and of all times, they've decided to transition him a couple months early to the next level so he'll be getting one new teacher since one of his current caregivers will be transitioning with the set of kids who're currently in his classroom. I don't want him held back because the new kids his teacher is getting are barely over "1" . I have never felt it was an issue of mis-treatment because he's such a happy camper when I pick him up and if I leave look on the moniter later....he's playing happily with the other kids. The daycare is a very loving environment and it is company sponsored. My son came to us through adoption at 5 weeks so he doesn't have any separation issues from being tossed around in foster care. I try to comfort him and tell him I'm coming back but we usually end up with the teacher having to pick him up to enable me to go to work. Some days I stay a little while to interest him in playing with a toy with some of the other children or I get a book a read to him and some of his classmates which they all seem to like. Does anybody have any words of wisdom other than.....he's about to be "2" and it really is just a phase??? It's gotten more confusing because he doesn't want me to leave in the morning but for the last two days.... he doesn't want to leave to go home in the evenings when I pick him up (go figure) Part of that is because he's totally smitten with his really cute 21 yr old evening caregiver. Any words of wisdom anyone!?!?!?!?!? Angeluv

[vicrose]

Hi!!, With three kids myself...I have a little experience in this department. This is absolutely normal....my children have done the complete same things. I also used to help my aunt out once in a while at her daycare center...and when the kids would come in the morning...they would get very clingy to they're parents..start crying, whining, etc...but let me make you feel better...2 minutes after the parents were gone...the kids were happily playing or eating breakfast....the same thing would happen in the evening when the parents would pick up the kids...they wouldn't want to leave Aunt Carol...because she was they're buddy. Being a parent is not easy...and often times we feel guilty, and you know what..it's ok to console the child when you leave in the morning for work...but talk to the daycare workers...make sure your child is happy during the day....but don't beat yourself up over this...because this is perfectly normal behavior. Hugs, Brenda

[Judilyn]

As long as your child is happy alll day long then there is really no need to worry. And as far as the crying I have found that this too shall pass

It is very normal for kids to regress and begin going through the seperation anxiety thing once again after being oK for a while. While it is good for you to stay for a while it is not a good idea to linger for too long. It gives the child the impression that you must have a concern about leaving him also.

And do not feel too guilty that a caregiver must take him from you when he is upset. At our center we have a policy that a child should never go from a mom's arms to a cold floor, they should go into another pair of loving arms.

God Bless
Judilyn