[Marmy_4]

ok the first thing that brought me to these forums is the simle fact that I am a Birthmom. A decision that feel was made be cause I 'gave up'. I did not trust my self as a mother to make the best decisions for my child and that is my biggest regret.

so heres my question. I have a new baby boy who has been kept in the hospital for the first 39 days of his life. the drs do not want me to take him home because he continues to hold his breath while he sucks from the bottle and if we let him suck too long then his heart rate drops and he turns all pale. If we pace him on the bottle he does much better and has a chance to catch his breath. I am desperate to take him home with me but i dont want that need to over shadow his condition, which they tell me that he will just eventuly grow out of. ...
so, should i stand my ground as his mother and say ? "Im taking him home so give me a monitor!" or do i let him stay in the hospital until this passes which we have absolutly no idea when that will be? When will enought time pass that they will let me take him home? any insites would be nice...

[saxxxy]

Marmy,

i don't blame you for wanting your little guy home asap.
I brought a foster baby home on oxygen and an apnea monitor. At first I was scared of her cords and what if the monitor went off type of thing. After one day I realized it was no big deal.
Is the eating your son's only reason for remaining in the NICU? I don't see that as something you cannot manage at home. My NICU was prepared to send my baby home with a feeding tube (along with everything else) but luckily she started eating from a bottle a couple of days before release date.
You may want to call your pediatrician and get his advice and perhaps a note from him stating he is capable of taking on continuing care with you, something like that.
Good luck, I hope your baby is home soon.

[Marmy_4]

yup his little eating habit is the 'only' thing keeping him there. hes not on a gavage tube or anything anymore and hasnt been for 2 weeks. I am definatly going to talk to the drs about sending him home with a monitor if that is his only real problem. He is however anemic and had no responce to the treatments they gave him to help his bonemarrow produce more redblood cells and while searching desperatly on the web i found articles that related the two, but not while feeding. hmm ???

[Mommy24]

Marmy, I can so relate to you as 3 of my 5 children spent time in NICU. I also understand wanting your baby home, but remember you want him home healthy and if a little while longer in the hospital will give you that then maybe let him stay, Believe me I really do understand your frustrations. I would discuss it with your ped, they may send him home on an apnea monitor, they may want to keep him until they figure out whats going on with the anemia, Again I know it is hard, feel free to PM me anytime! Hang in there, he is coming home....I had a nurse in NICU with my 2nd son tell me" Do you see these other babies...I said "yes" she said they will probably be here 6 months from now, your lil guy just needs a little extra time maybe a week or two more, try to remember he is coming home" I know thats not very comforting when you have waited 39 days, but he is coming home, try to remember that

[HappyTwinsMom]

My daughters spent their first 29 days in the NICU and were discharged home on apnea monitors and oxygen...in large part because I wanted to go home. I was 600 miles from home two months after losing my mom and my support system was all far away.

If I had it to do over again, I would stay put in the hospital until the doctors had no concerns about my babies and were able to release them without monitors. Looking back, I should have been a lot more scared than I was.

Hugs to you and your little one.

[ATDx2006]

My daughter was in the hospital for the first four weeks of her life because she couldn't drink her bottle. SO MANY TIMES I had threatened to sign her out AMA, but didn't. They were empty threats, really. I was impatient, I cried every night, but you have to do what's best for your baby. The NICU nurses will take amazing care and when you get him home you two will have an extra special bond. That's what my daughter and I have.

[Marmy_4]

what do you mean she couldnt drink her bottle?? what did she do?...did they try a cup with her or just keep up wtih the gavage feedings? i would like to tlak to whoever has had a baby in NICU just to try and figure this out or just to feel some support in what im going threw.... hes still in the hospital and is 54 days old now....

[HappyTwinsMom]

Marmy - with our girls, the issue was they were premature enough that they didn't know how to suck. Then when they started doing that, they couldn't coordinate the sucking and breathing they needed to do. They were actually discharged home on NG tubes for feeding, and we kept that up for about two weeks afater we came home. For them, it was just a matter of getting old enough to be able to do what they needed to do.

It's got to be so hard for you having your baby still in the hospital after 54 days. I thought 29 days was unbearable! Little did I know. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope your little one will be home with you very, very soon.

[Marmy_4]

thats what the drs keep saying about my boy...that hes just not mature enough to get it right... well the thing that has frustrated me more is he hasnt had an episode since 5am monday .... hes figured it out! and the nurses are all excited but the drs want to keep him to continue monitoring him and want to know what 'made him do it in the first place' WELL IF WHAT THEY WERE TELLING ME ABOUT HIM JUST GROWING OUT OF IT THEN WHY ARE THEY LOOKING FOR A REASON NOW....you get what i mean?....they said his age caused it and now they want to know if there was a reason for it?....they dont make sence! grrrrr