[janeliz]

Hi! My daughter is 5 1/2, and has always been a handful. She had severe birth trauma and we took her home at 3 days old. Several have suggested that she is ADHD, but that has never set right with me.

Since starting kindergarten a month ago, our lives have been turned upside down. Our daughter is acting like she did when she was 2 - cannot sit still or follow instructions at school, hits, kicks, pinches, gets in others' space, is generally "hated" by everyone.

I brought her to a therapist for the first time today and she said no to ADHD and YES to attachment disorder.

I would like to know from people who have had success with children with attachment disorders, I need some encouragement!

Jane

[dimasmom]

My son was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder at age 6. By age 7 1/2 we finially go on the right track and did attachment therapy with him. He is now almost 10 and I firmly believe that he has resolved his attachment disorder.

I would urge you to contact www.AttaCh.org and locate and attachment therapist. You may need to travel as they are far and few between. I have not yet heard of a child with attachment disorder doing well with traditional therapy. Many require very intensive attachment therapy plus attachment parenting. As I am sure you already realize, regular parenting does not work with our kids. I had to completely relearn how to parent my attachment disordered child.

My son wrote a book about his experiences in Attachment Therapy. It's at www.Center4FamilyDevelop.org. Click on hope and then Kyles story.

Children with reactive attachment disorder can often look very much like they have ADHD. but it is also very different from ADHD. A kid with ADHD hurts people or breaks things accidentially. A child with RAD does it intentionally.

ADHD like symptoms can also be seen in children with sensory processing disorders. Screenings for SI can be done by an occupational therapist certified in Sensory Integration.

DimasMom

[Susan Ward]

I'm delighted with the changes in my daughter after having gone through attachment therapy. Before therapy, on different days, she might look ADHD or ODD or one of a variety of diagnoses.

The combination for Hannah was therapy, therapuetic parenting, motivational respite (work camp), and a few months of medication. Our therapist was wonderful. She combined EMDR, storytelling, discussion, and more. And, she often spent as much or more time with me as with Hannah, helping me fine-tune my therapeutic parenting skills.

Hannah was in therapy for 17 months. It's now a year and a half later. She's attached and doing well. She still has what I call a few "raggedy edges," days where she feels stressed or overwhelmed. Overall, however, she's great! Does her chores, an all A student, affectionate, curious, funny, and more.

[janeliz]

Thanks for the replies - I hope there are more from people out there with experience. In the 3 weeks since I posted, we have had some success already with our daughter. She is accessing and feeling some emotions that I have never seen or known about. She cried when I left her for the first time this week - every time I leave her she seems indifferent. This time she was really, really sad. It is so good to see her express emotion when she is feeling it, and not in inappropriate ways half an hour later.

I feel we have a long road ahead of us. We are having her evaluated through the public school system in our first step toward getting her into a special school that has a day school for kids like her (they actually understand adoption issues!). However, the eval will take up to 2 months and then onto a waiting list at the school. In the meantime, her emotions/behavior are escalating (we've been told to expect this) and she has to stay in her school to be evaluated. Every day she goes I just pray that nothing will go terribly wrong. I can't think it is good to be rejected and disobedient day after day after day.

I feel caught between a rock and a hard place!

Jane

[Dr. Art]

Dear Jane,

Why can't your current therpaist prepare an evaluation???

This is something that we routinely do for the families with whom we work. The evaluation we do provides a basis for the diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder, (if that is what is going on!!), which is a severe developmental disorder, recommendations for the school regarding type of placement and accomodations, and suggestions for other areas to look into; such as sensory-integration disorders, etc. This provides the basis for an immediate meeting of the Committee on Special Education to secure an IEP and classification of the child as either SED (severely emotionally disturbed) or Health-Impaired: Other. Either way the critical issues is to secure an IEP with what your child needs in writing as part of the plan. As an alternative, if the child does not need a special education class for emotional/behavioiral issues such as a 6:1:1 or 12:1:1 setting, you can ask for an Accomodation under Section 504 of the Federal Rehabilitation Act.

Glad you found a reputable therapist to work with you and your family. As that person about the evaluation and letter for you.

Regards

[janeliz]

Dr. Art, I was hoping that our therapist could be the person too, to submit the evaluation. However, this school is beyond our means, and in order to get state funding, our daughter has to be found needy by the public school and their evaluation.

Bummer!

[Dad Mike]

Don't be so quick to jump on the attachment disorder bandwagon.
It is very common for our children to revert to a younger emotional age when they are faced with a new experience like school. My daughter had a lot of problems in first grade while still in foster care. As the year progressed, these problems resolved themselves and by the end of the year she was fitting in well.

Then we adopted her and she moved to a new school. All the problems that you describe reared their ugly head. We really believe that most of the problem stem from her trying to find her place in the pecking order. She also has gotten into fights and is sometimes restless in the classroom. Don't give up!

As she makes friends and learns the ropes of going to school many of these behaviors will most likely disappear.

[Dr. Art]

Dear janeliz,

In what state do you reside? I do think that the applicable federal laws regarding special education allow you to get your own evaluation. By definition, Reactive Attachment Disorder will qualify your child for an IEP, which is your ticket for services. I'd consult with your therapist...or if she is not sure, you may want to contact an ombudsman or a local support group expert or even an attorney.

Regards

[janeliz]

I live in South Dakota, not exactly the most progressive state. I will check with my therapist. Thanks!

Jane