[Kirlaskia]

Does anyone know of any good books or have suggestions on how to parent a parentified child? I've got some idea, as I "parented" myself while young, but I am curious from the other perspective of parenting a parentified child than being one.

Thanks!

[marythemom]

Both my children were highly parentified when we first got them. We had younger biochildren in the home, and they kept telling them what to do. I just say over and over,

"That's my job."
"You are not the parent, that's my job."
"Who's job is it to (tell another child what to do or not to do)...?"
"You do not need to do that. It's my job to (keep her safe, help him do that, call her to come inside)..."

I am always VERY careful not to give children tasks that set them over each other. "Bear tell your sister it's time to go. Kitty why didn't you tell Ponito not to take your toy? Bear go get your brother." -That's MY job.

It's not easy, and I often have to tell D especially that he needs to change his tone of voice because it sounds like he is telling someone what to do. He argues with me about it. D especially used to try to tell me what to do too, "Mom, you should go to bed now. Mom, you need to make dinner. Mom turn left here... I would gently correct him every time, because that's not his job!

Hope that helps,

[Kirlaskia]

Thank you! Very helpful answer.