[Rubi]

Hi, I'm new to the forum....I'm very worried about my boy. He was adopted at birth. He is 4yr 3 months old now. He has always been a very sensitive child (emotionally)...but a relaxed and happy one. The last month his behavior changed drastickly! He gets terrible temper tantrums, screaming, crying and even hurting me physickly (hitting, scrathing, kicking, ect) He also wets and soils his pants....The only stressors in his live was maybe the death of his grandfather(5 months ago) and there might be a new baby on its way (adoption)....I've made an appointment with an educational psychologist, I just hope she knows something about adoption? I've read some stuff on attachment disorder....is this only something that happens when adopting an older child or can this happen now, after 4yr, of adoption? Or is this "normal" for his age....? I

[joskids]

You say your child has been a "relaxed and happy" child. That wouldn't indicate to me (I'm not a professional) that he has attachment issues. It sounds like he's going through a phase, something is bothering him. Is he in preschool? Is someone there pushing his buttons, another child, maybe? Don't get too stuck on the fact that every negative behavior relates to him being adopted. You'll just put added stress on the situation. I'd take some time to look at his day-to-day interactions and try to note any changes that may be upsetting to him. Talk with your pediatrician about what's going on. It could even be something physical, like irritable bowel syndrome if he is a sensitive child.

[AudreyE]

Odds are it's not attachment disorder, since he's been with you and happy most of his life.

Try to find out about possible problems in school, with playmates, relatives, etc. Our son acted out when he was 3, and it ended up a teacher at daycare was being extremely physically rough with him. We didn't know, because he didn't have the words to talk about it... we only found out when another teacher told us.

Once we got him to talk about it (it's hard to get little ones to talk about what's bothering them), the problem disappeared. Oh, and we had the teacher arrested, FYI.

Audrey