[SageKitty]

Hi!

I am the pre-adoptive Mom of a 7 1/2 year old boy. I began visits with him in early March and he moved in early May. Two weeks after the move he began to rage and by the third rage in one weekafter a sibling visit I had to involve the emergency room. I do not have custody since he is still a ward of the state. He is placed in a program for 45 days to see what the triggers are. I'm not sure as a single parent I can handle this. I love this little boy, but I am scared. It took all of my might to hold him down from jumping out of a window. Any advise? I feel guilty that I am even thinking about not following through with this, but my resources are limited and I must maintain my job at the same time. I wish I was told all of the details to make a proper decision. he was fine for one year in his last foster home. I am just so upset.

[Debra]

I can understand how upset you must be and what a traumatic experience it must have been.
But......my honest opinion is that it is much better to find out now IF his issues are more than you can handle. And I can almost promise you (based on my personal experience) is that things will probably get much worse before they get better. I am not being negative, it is just that I've seen first hand how damaged these children can be and how much time and effort and energy it can take to help them heal. A single parent with limited support resources may not be the best person to help this child, no matter how much you love him..
Heck, even a married person with lots of support resources may not be the best person to help these poor damaged kids.
Please think this over carefully. It may be a blessing in disguise that he acted out so soon. Our children waited a year or so.....
now we're really wishing we'd done a lot of things differently.