[Guitarmom]

Hi there-
Just wondering if any of you have adopted older children, and/or adopted out of birth order.
our kids are 7,11,13,and 16.
We've been referred to a sibling group , 4yo and 9yo sisters.
That would give us 5 girls in the house - 4 of them sharing a room, my 16 yo has her own room.
I'll definitely need advice on organizing 4 girls in one room (that's another post).

Anyway- I was just wondering how adopting out of the birth order in a larger familiy worked.. if any of you have stories to share, I'd love to hear them!

[2manyks]

we adopted out of birth order and it was hard, but doable. i have 2 12 yo, 2 9 yo, 2 6 yo, none of them twins. i have to treat them totally separate. the 6 yo cant be in the same class, wear the same colors or even eat the same things. the adaughter would be ok with it - she is slightly retarded - but the other daughter doesnt want to appear to be the same as her. its funny, but until i wrote this just now i havent figured out why. of course she doesnt want to be in the same catagory as her, lol! i always thought she was just angry about being displaced! if you can not put them in the same room, it would be better. that is the mistake i feel like i made. if i were you i would put the daughters you already have in one room and the *new* girls in the other. i dont know how you will work this out with your 16 yo though. in time the girls will become part of the family, but i wouldnt force it. i made that mistake. i wanted the *new* kids to fell welcome and loved and it only bred resentment in my other kids. things get better and better, but it has been a lond road. my dd has RAD, PTSD, and that didnt help either. you have no way of knowing if they girls have problems. good luck.

[bange]

We have 3 bio children and 2 russian children... girl 16, boy 14, girl 11, boy 9, boy 7... we adopted 3 more boys last year ages 11 and twins 8. The biggest issue we had was with our youngest 7 year old because the twins are very immature and one of them particularly small so he is the same size as the seven year old. So he really felt he had competition. But I have to say it wasn't that much different from each child adjusting to a new baby in the family.

As far as many kids in one room, we've got bunk beds with trundles and even double bunk beds. We have tons of kids but because of the trundles and bunks we have extra space for friends when they sleep over.