[mmm2hands]

Not sure if this new thread belongs in this category, but maybe you can guide me correctly?

3 weeks ago my wife and I had a FIRST TIME meeting over dinner with my 24-yr old daughter (and her boyfriend) who I had never physically met before. I learned that I am her biological father about 8 yrs ago thru blood-test. We had communicated limitedly previously by writing and phone while in different states. Now we both live in CA about 90 minutes apart. No post-meeting communication plans were agreed upon and I am now looking for input as to how to proceed from here.

Any thoughts?

Thanks,
Michael

[DDJ]

Michael,
Congratulations on meeting your daughter! I realize that you posted this a while back but since I don't see any replys, here is my 2 cents worth. As a reunited adoptee as well as an adoptive mother of 3, here is my suggestion.

Call or write - whichever is most comfortable. Tell her that you enjoyed meeting (if true) and that you realize nothing was planned as far as continuing contact. I would give several options and ask for her thoughts or if she has any other ideas for contact.

Some ideas you could offer would be: Meet once every month or two, Call every so many weeks, email frequently... Suggest what meets your needs of contact and would be practical for both of you. Keep in mind that she may have different needs but at least you will have reached out and also by offering suggestions, you have given her some idea of what you are hoping for/comfortable with.

Having been apart for so long, it may take time and work to develop a close relationship...but its worth it! I met my birthmom about 7 years ago and we are good friends now.
Best Wishes!
DDJ