[msmith]

hi...
i'm pretty new on here...
my husband and i are older parents of a 4 and a 6 year old. we are always trying to come up with disciplinary techniques that will work. our latest one we just started this AM.

we are both teachers, and have been on an unusually long holiday break. our kids have been getting up pretty early and doing various things around the house. they stay in pjs, so when we are getting ready to go places, and it is time to get dressed, they don't get dressed!!!! i put their clothes out, but when i ask them to get ready, i expect them to get ready!! it is so frustrating when they don't. anyway, we put our two nice jars. when we ask them to get ready, we set a timer for 5 minutes. if they are ready before the timer buzzes, they get a quarter in their jar. if they brush their teeth with only one prompt, they get another quarter. now this may seem wrong to pay your kids to do stuff, but we don't want to give food or candy. we have used sticker charts, and need a break from that. what do you all use? i should mention that our daughter (6) is particularly difficult, and needs us to change techniques fairly often.

but i am interested in what others do in this area... having kids do what is expected without begging them or fighting or yelling. i am looking for peace!

thanks,
msmith

[Dana Wessoly]

OK, I am the mother of 3 ages 6, 3, and 4 months....2 girls and the baby is a boy. I am an adoptee, I was yelled at alot and smacked constantly!! As a parent I try to resolve things quietly, not to say I never yell because we all do sometimes. The thing I find that works best is taking away things that mean alot to the kids. My 6 year old daughter is an AVID artist, after the 3rd time of asking her to do something I take her crayons away for the rest of the day, she really hates this.....so the next time she doesn' listen I bring up the crayons and she complies quickly. Or I will take the TV out of their room, if they say it is not fair, I say its not fair when you don't listen. I do not reason or give second chances. You need to be consistant and follow through in a calm way. If you kids love ice cream, or scooters or even a bed time story then let them lose that for the day. That said I am a very loving understanding and fun parent I just expect to be respected.

[addielee]

While going through MAPP training to be foster parents, we were introduced to 1-2-3 Magic. It's a video and has been very effective in households where kids were actually running the show.

You may want to contact the public library, Departmend of Children's Services, or even the internet. It had some great tips, and apparently, was extremely helpful. We haven't had a chance to use it since there are no children in our home at this time.

Hope this helps!

[lucyjoy]

We use alot of foster Cline's Parenting with love and logic. My kids get up, clean rooms, get dressed and do 15 min assigned chore before breakfast. I only serve breakfast once. No child has ever missed more then one breakfast and there's never an arguement about clothes or food. (With food issue kids I often said If you want to choose your breakfast be ready by 8 if not, I'll be serving you my choice.)