[MamaS]

I am the 53 year-old adopted mother (former grandmother) of a 3 year-old boy. Try looking for a grandparents group. There are lots of us who are parenting children and you could be the "youngster".
You can find grandparents during the day at local fast food restaurants that have indoor play areas. Also at public libraries when there are children's programs. Art supply/craft stores that have programs for preschoolers during the day draw lots of us. Also, local churches have mom's day out programs (grandmoms are eligible for these too). You don't have to have a large group -- find two or three people you like and invite them and their children for tea and cookies some afternoon. Chances are they will return the invitation and you will have friends with children the same age as yours! Good luck!

[tyiakoum]

AS for your daughter's color... my DH and I have been mentoring (and acting as "surrogate" moms for) five fabulous siblings from Somalia who were at-risk. The two youngest spend vacations with us now that we have moved about 10 hours by car away from them.

We are cauc. The girls are cafe-au-lait and dark brown. We don't really see their color, and lived in DC where it was so diverse racially and ethnically, that is the norm. Now we live in MA< in a village where the girls really stand out in a crowd.

I know they don't really let the fact that they are african american affect them (because I've asked). I
have gotten stares, but I assume it is because the girls are absolutely stunning, not because I am a cauc w/two aa girls.

What I have to say is this... your daughter, so loved, will be a pioneer in whatever playgroup you attend if you live in a less diverse area. Can you look at it this way? That those people who are unused to difference in color will learn how fundamentally we are all the same.

Please don't give up. And 20 year olds have less life experience, you are setting the tone by sticking w/a group and letting them get a taste of diversity. As long as the children are not ignoring your DD, or they are trashing you in front of her that she would notice?

I know it must be hard... good luck. Someone's suggestion of your starting a mom's group yourself is a good idea. If you do a google search I think there is a website dedicated to that type of thing.

[CalandraLark]

I love the idea of older moms starting their own groups, in fact when I become a mom, I'd rather be in a group like that than one of moms my own age. I'm in my early twenties now and I have more fun talking to my parents and grandparents friends than I do college age/young adults. I just dont relate to their perspectives on life, and people shouldn't have to go back several maturity levels just to fit in. I hope you all find someone how actually understand what's going on in your life now instead of several years ago.

[adoptmom_02]

Hi I could of wrote your post. I have never fit in to play groups. I a 41, have one son we adopted he is aa and we are adopting again and thisbaby is also aa. I a nin indiana where are you fromi wish you lived by me. i would love to get together.
kim

[JamieR]

Oh I am sooo glad you adopted a child. I notice that the problem is with the others and not you. Just find a decent group for yourself. Those groups dont suit you, they are not worth it.

[dianamom4]

Keep looking!!!!!
It is really difficult to fit in with the 20 somethings at our age; I'm 40 as well. My husband and I moved to a small town in WV shortly after adopting our sib group of 4. It did take me awhile to find other moms in my age range, but they are there. It also took me awhile to find moms that didn't have a bias against my kids once they found out their circumstances. Just keep looking. The park idea is great, I would also try parent and child swim classes, tumbling, and any other toddler activity you can find. Call your local YMCA, YWCA, colleges and park services and read your local paper. It will get easier as your child gets older, and your child becomes involved in more activities. (I meet more moms through my 5 and 6 year olds than through my three and four year olds). When I finally began meeting moms closer to my age, they too were delighted to find they weren't the only ones! We are out here, you just need to find us!

-Diana
Amom to four wonderful kids as of 10/12/2005!!!!!