[Jsmith]

My husband and I are 48 and have been asked to adopt his 2nd cousins baby boy that is due May 11. Since we just found out, I have not done very much research. She wants us to take him home from the hospital. I'm concerned about feeding. I don't even want to try breastfeeding. I know breast milk is best, but how do I go about getting it. Would it bad to get some from the birthmother. We are on really good terms, but live a two hour drive from each other. If she were willing, how would she store it.

[janeliz]

I totally agree, breast milk is best! My first adopted daughter developed really severe food allergies, and I always wonder if she could have avoided them if she had been breastfed. This being the case, with my second child I tried hard to find some way to get her breast milk.

First of all, there is no way to get breast milk from an individual anymore unless you find them yourself and make some sort of arrangement. The birthmother would be best but that is asking a lot of her. La Leche League used to pair up people like this but they don't anymore. Breast milk industry has been turned over to milk banks for pasteurization and sterilization because of the danger of passing on disease through someone else's breast milk. When I researched this, I found out that milk through the milk banks costs $2.50 an ounce!!!!! Since my second child was having such trouble with formula, I got my doctor to write a prescription for breast milk. However, the whole adventure stopped with the insurance company because they will not subsidize food, only medicine. Only if she could not tolerate formula at all would they consider covering it.

So, you have a few good choices -

1. Find someone willing to donate/sell breastmilk to you. It can be pumped and frozen for something like 3 months without degradation. Best case scenario, the supplier would be the same blood type as the baby.

2. Find a good, clean (organic, no antibiotics used) source of goat's milk. Much easier to digest than cow's milk. It can be mixed in with formula if you are careful about the nutritional content (I've researched this a ton, you can send me a message if you're interested). I tried the canned goat's milk and also the quart containers at the store, my daughter got diarrhea on them. The only storable form I found is Goatein, which is a protein powder from Garden of Life.

3. Find a compatible formula. I have problems with both dairy and soy for a newborn, which doesn't leave much. I was most pleased with Baby's Only Dairy Organic Formula, which can be purchased at health food stores or ordered online much cheaper. It is more expensive than regular formula but is organic and has no added yucky stuff. Still, it's far from breast milk.

Once again, I've really researched this and feel free to contact me if you wish. It is great to see that you are looking out for your little one like this ahead of time!

Jane

[vicrose]

I agree that breast milk is best. Two of my kids would not latch on, so we had to do formula though, and they turned out just fine. I was adopted as a baby, and had formula from the day I was born, in the foster home, and then when I went home to my adoptive families home, and I am quite healthy. I just think that it is a lot to ask of a birthmother at such an emotional time, unless she brings up the subject first. I have read from some of the posts here that some birthmothers ask to breast feed the baby in the hospital, and even send some milk home with the baby. Even if she just fed the baby in the hospital, the first couple of days of breast feeding are the most important, because the mother produces colustrum, and this is very good for the baby. Good luck with the new baby whatever your choice!!!!! And if you don't go the breast feeding route, just check with your pediatrician, they can recommend a compatible formula for the baby, some of the new formulas on the market today, are similar to breast milk..........Sincerely, Brenda...