[TanyaB]

Hello everyone!!! Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but I thought you would all get bored with my weekly post of "still waiting". So I let it go awhile and thought I could state it now, not much of a surprise to those of you who know our case, but for those who don't-surprise we are still in the U.S. with out our son. Do I sound bitter, I hope not. We are patient faithful people that believe our son is coming home, but we are also human and very frustrated right not.
Anyway, Congrats on the new referrals and those of you who are moving forward, that is a huge ray of light for us all. I can't say we arent moving forward and I can't say we are, I actually have no idea where we are at in the court process and have been asking that question since January. So, April came and went and we do not have a court date, unsure if TPR is done, so i have no clue about the custody hearing. We just know that our referral is still ours and they are working on getting everything legalized. I am usually really positive about all this, but I am having a bad night. Patience is a virtue I lack, but am working on very very hard I just miss him, my husband and I fell in love with a picture we call our son, and I miss him. I knew you would all understand
Well, thank you all for listening. Like I said we have faith he is coming home and we continue to pray it is soon. Everyday I pray for us all and all of our situations. I know our children are coming home and when they do we all need to meet someplace central and celebrate Remember you don't need to have a child physically in your care to be a mother, you are connected by your heart distance can't change that-so Happy Mothers Day to all you moms!!!!!
TanyaB

[TanyaB]

On a positive note-
I was just thinking about all this waiting and it did make me realize that I would much much rather be waiting to travel than loosing a referral, see I told you I am ususally positive(Or I have just been up to late As they say it takes rain to get rainbows, lemons to make lemon aide
Have a great weekend everyone,
Tanya

[JUF]

Tanya,
Thanks for the update and sorry it isn't better news. The waiting is hard but what's even harder I think is the unknown time frame. I would rather know that it will be 5 months and here is the date you will travel than, well it could be next month or maybe the following month...that's the hardest. You put your life on hold thinking you will travel soon. Wishing you all the best and good news soon!
Julie

[whoownsthis]

We definitely feel for you Tanya! I can't figure out what the holdup is.

The first abandonment hearing for "our" two was held 11 days ago, but we still haven't received word from our attorney about a new date (rescheduled hearing w/a "defensor de ausente" representing the birthmother).

She had told us that we MIGHT be ready to travel (for guardianship) by mid- to late-May, but that's obviously not going to happen now.

So....I've started another home project to try to keep me distracted (the master bath). I painted the ceiling last night, and then realized I hadn't used bath primer (to avoid mold). Uhhh!

I'm so frustrated right now. If we didn't have two specific precious children waiting on us, we would have forfeited the $5,000+ we've spent so far and gone somewhere else! (domestic, another country, sperm donor?)

1/2003 - dossier to Panama
6/2003 - dossier to DNA
7/2003 - lawyer & friend found "our" 2 kids
2/2004 - kids' social worker submitted his abandonment investigation to judge
3/2004 - judge set a date for abandonment hearing (4/27)
4/27/2004 - had hearing, but judge couldn't rule since bmom didn't show up
5/8/2004 - still waiting for new hearing to be scheduled
6/2004 - may be ready to travel for guardianship hearing???

[whoownsthis]

Just got an e-mail from our attorney! But first, remember that with "our" two children (who have not been officially referred to us from the DNA, yet), they were removed from their mother's home a year ago (for the SECOND time) due to physical abuse (she was on some sort of "drug," but we don't know which) and now nobody knows where she is.


So our attorney wrote today that on Friday the court secretary asked her to contact the children's aunt next week (remember that mysterious aunt who appeared out of nowhere and had to be interviewed by the DNA social worker who determined that she did not want to parent them/or was not fit to do so?). The aunt has to appear in court next week (or maybe just in front of the judge) to testify that the birthmother's whereabouts are unknown. (Hmm...what if she refuses?!) Then after that, an announcement has to be published in the newspaper and will run for 5 days announcing the abandonment hearing to give the mother an opportunity to respond. The abandonment re-hearing will be scheduled after that 5 days (I think whether the mother shows up or not).

Now it will just be SCHEDULED after all of that. No word on when we'll actually get a court date...could be into July. But at least we're moving!

Rebecca

[janemarie]

Wow - seems like there might be an actual process to all this after all. Unfortunately, we all have to just learn it as we go. What is frustrating is that it seems like the agencies and attorneys are learning it as we go also!! The laws in the US regarding children in the system sometimes seem to be just as drawn out and cumbersome. Guess it is just part of the ballgame no matter what. I do find it interesting to know the details. Makes me feel more comfortable knowing they are following some guidelines and not just sitting on paperwork for whatever reason!

Thanks for the updates!!
jane

P.S. We are still waiting for our family to be able to take our daughter out of the orphanage. Guess there was a procedure to all of it that wasn't explained to us. Surprise, surprise.

[whoownsthis]

Jane,
Do you know if your baby had her parental rights terminated BEFORE you accepted the referral? If not, this may be what your husband's family has to wait on before they can get custody (once you've been given guardianship).

Or have you already been given legal guardianship (through your agency), and it's just part of the slow paperwork that your family is waiting on to be able to take your daughter home?

Ugh, what a nutty process, huh?
Rebecca

[janemarie]

Her paperwork was submitted a month ago to the judge for TPR. I am curious to find out about the process. I would like to know what is meant by "an abandonment case" vs children removed from their home. I think Sarah asked her lawyer so maybe we will know soon.

Our family had to get appropriate paperwork, schedule a visit, get more paperwork, take her to the doctor, and now get more paperwork. We are hoping they get to bring her to their home this week.

jane

[lsworan]

I don't know the entire process for temporary custody, but DNA can grant temporary custody prior to the TPR being done. They granted us temporary custody of our son before the TPR hearing. While we were in Panama, DNA ask if we had friends or relatives that we wanted to care for our son until we return to get him. As we did not know anyone, we said no.

I guess my point is that DNA granting temporary custody of a child does not give you any indication on whether the parental rights have been terminated or not (TPR). I looked at it more like a foster care program.

Lauri
Also waiting to travel
Final Court Date June 9th

[pnamajmy]

Dear Tanya,
The waiting is an agravation for everyone including the agency. All of the people now involved in adoptions in Panama are in the same position. The administration there, with their upcoming ouster as a result of the elections are in a state of chaos. Everyone is trusting that this will result in a very favorable outcome for everyone waiting. Panama has a most cumbersome system of justice and the bureaucrats currently in charge are at best shall we say not proficient. Your child and others will make it through this. Be patient and see your child in your home. It is going to happen.

[JUF]

J. Mayhew,
In your opinion do you think the election results could slow down the process for those of us with referrals? Kind of like a "lame duck" government, nothing will get done until the new govt. is in place? Or will the judges and govt officials proceed as usual.

Thanks for your input.
Julie

[pnamajmy]

Tanya,
No one really knows yet as it is too soon to see what the results will shake out. Everything continues to move in the system as far as we can tell. There are a number of changes possibly taking place but we won´t really know what they are for a few more weeks. For you and everyone else in the system, we can only advise to stay the course. This entire process is new for Panama and the administration on its way out did not ever seem to grasp what it was they were really supposed to do. They gave every effort within what we considered their capacity but accomplishment was always illusive. (lost the paperwork, can´t find the mother, judge is ill, aunt/uncle/brother in law shows up, mother doesn´t show up for court, one bureaucrat is upset with the other bureaucrat so they refuse to work together, etc.) The new administration vows to clean this up. We will see but for now we continue to hold the same course and follow up with each new glich that shows up. Each day brings us closer to completion. There is a rainbow and the end is in sight.)

[whoownsthis]

Good grief, J! Everything you mentioned (in parentheses) that seems to be typical for adoption in Panama right now has happened to us over the past 17 months since we mailed our dossier to Panama!

Sounds like we're not the only ones currently in limbo.

Rebecca

[pnamajmy]

It isn't just international adoptions going through this, the same delays have been evident in domestic as well and all of them are in the justice system. When a new President takes office here, there is a complete changeover in every single department right down to the secretaries and janitors. There is good news and bad news in that. There are promises from the new pres to clean this up but the old admin going out is not co operating, from what we are told, on the changeover, so new people have to figure out what the situation is before they will be able to make any significant change. However, we are still confident that there is good news for all the parents in what is occuring now and for those who come to Panama to adopt in the future. I have witnessed many positive changes in spite of the current admins inability to proficiently provide services. Panama is a blooming country and will be the flower of Central America within a very short few years. Keep smiling your family is on the way and it will happen for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as this moves ahead.

[whoownsthis]

One more question, J:

I e-mailed Carmen Donna July, 2003 (en espanol) and asked her where we were on the waiting list to receive a referral. At that time, she told me we were "family #58" but that some of the previous 57 had already received referrals and that if our lawyer wasn't being "pendiente," we should consider finding a new laywer. (It took our first lawyer 6 months to sumbit our translated dossier! We hired a new lawyer right after that warning from Carmen!)

Do you have any idea why, in all of this time (10+ months), we never received a referral? Carmen Donna does know that we have 2 children in mind (since last July!), but our attorney begged her to be on the lookout for another child (0-8 years, any race, any treatable medical) in case these 2 do not get their parental rights terminated. Plus, their paperwork was lost for 3 or 4 months, and our attorney checked in with the DNA weekly to see if we had a referral, yet.

Any idea why this happened with our case (never got a DNA referral)? We're adopting independently with an attorney who has been in the domestic and international adoption practice for more than 10 years. Carmen Donna even told me that our attorney is highly respected! The two references (from our attorney) I spoke with both adopted in 2002-2003, and the whole process took only 10 months and 13 months.

Thanks for your insights!
Rebecca