[john jr]

Whoops...first time user, i posted this as a part of a current thread...

My wife and myself are looking into adopting a baby girl. I have to admit that i am not familiar with the people/culture of the Marshall Islands, can someone give me some information about the babies they have adopted, any type of medical problems associated with Marshallese babies ? Any helpful information ?
i am working with a facilatator in CA. who has several birthmothers expecting in the next few weeks.

I suppose i am just a little scared...hope that doesnt sound bad, i am just looking for some information.


__________________
john jr.

[sak9645]

... familiarize yourself with the Marshall Islands culture and the adoption process before going any further.

When you adopt a child of another race and/or ethnicity, the child's birth culture becomes part of your own family's life. You really need to be sure that you can embrace that birth culture and present it in a way that your child will develop a positive self-image and an ability to feel proud of her heritage even when racism rears its ugly head. You also need to identify sources of role models for your child -- people who look like him/her, and who have been successful, for example.

You will not be doing your child a favor to say, "Forget the Marshall Islands; you are an American now." He or she will look in the mirror and see a brown skinned person who doesn't look like his/her parents, and yet does not look like an American Black either, every day. The lessons we have learned from young adults who were adopted from Korea as babies are compelling; so many have had identity issues, because their adoptive families simply did not celebrate their heritage or treat it as important.

Also, be aware that, unlike most other international adoptions, most adoptions from the Marshall Islands are of the "open" variety. You may well meet your child's birthparents during the adoption process, and they may wish to have an ongoing relationship with you and your child. If you do not feel comfortable with openness in adoption, this could be a real problem for you.

Sharon

[jackwelz]

Hello: We also are looking into a Marshallese adoption. We've heard that it is much easier if the birth mother travels to Hawaii for the delivery. Has your facilitator mentioned that option? Good luck to you.

[Nena]

John Jr.

Hello. First, congratulations on your adoption journey. Is your birth mother going to deliver in California? Or are you traveling to the RMI to adopt your baby girl?

We have two daughters adopted from the RMI and an open adoption with our birth family. Our older daughter was placed with us at three weeks of age and was sick but not seriously. Our second daughter was placed with us at eight weeks of age and was very healthy. Both have continued to do well and are beautiful, healthy, and well adjusted little girls. We have had a very, very, positive experiance.

If you want more info, there is another RMI-kids list on Yahoo that has over 200 families that have been touched by adoption from the RMI on it. They may be a better resource for your questions in as much as you will have more of an audience. If you go to http://groups.yahoo.com/ and then put in RMI-kids in the search box, it will bring it up. I have been on the list for almost five years and I know it has been a wonderful support for me and my family. Often times families are very open to writing you back privately and sharing any of their concerns or struggles.

There is also a reunion, (or more then one!) coming up for families with children from the RMI. This is a wonderful way to meet other parents with children from the RMI and hook up with a support system for your child to teach her more about her culture. The one in Chicago is being held in July and I know they are expecting many families to attend. We will still be in Germany so it isn't possible for us to make it but I sure wish it was!!!!!

Again, best wishes on your adoption journey and please check out the RMI-kids list and keep us all posted on how things turn out for you.

Maryann

[Sharon]

"Hello: We also are looking into a Marshallese adoption. We've heard that it is much easier if the birth mother travels to Hawaii for the delivery. Has your facilitator mentioned that option? Good luck to you." ~ JackWelz

This is against the law. Although some unethical facilitators may still encourage it, there will be serious problems with the legality of your adoption at some point in the future if you choose to go this route. I would under no circumstances agree to adopt a child that a Marshallese mother has traveled to America to deliver. Your adoption will not be legal. The facilitator who encourages this is knowingly breaking the law and will eventually be caught and will likely serve prison time. When that time comes, that facilitator's records will be scrutinized and all the adoptions they've "facilitated" will be called into question by the authorities. Therefore, I urge you not to use a facilitator who brings Marshallese expectant mothers to Hawaii to deliver. It is not "easier". Not in the long run.
~ Sharon