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Old 11-03-2012, 08:56 PM
me1600 me1600 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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little babies but still considering adoption

I am 49 and have small children with my husband. Before we were lucky enough to have these children via medical miracle, we were and still are considering foreign adoption. We have thought so much about it. has anyone young bio children, but still want to adopt but has questions like?
would it be hard to adopt a child older than your bio children?
should we wait till our little ones are older (but then we would be older too!)
we thought about Foster to adopt but again, we have small children in the house and it might be complicated.
Any way, interested to hear if any had situations like this? We are not sure, one way or the other at this point, but in my heart I do feel a drive to adopt so I feel I should explore that!
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Old 11-05-2012, 06:40 PM
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Linny Linny is offline
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I've never had bio kids (by choice) but have little ones still at home and am older than you.
I fully understand the want to adopt and I think you should research it fully. I would suggest you wait though, until your babies are older and THEN, adopt very young children or even babies. Having older children (internationally or otherwise) is a totally different way of parenting. It requires a great deal of patience and tolerance and being able to devote most of your time with them. (Even more than with small babies.) Their issues are different than those who are babies. True, some issues aren't as significant as others, but the majority of older child adoptions require intense parenting which might be difficult with even pre-teen children already in the house. Combine this with the high probability that older children in foster care--OR housed internationally---have been sexually abused. This one issue can bring dangerous scenarios with the rest of the children in your home---no matter HOW much you try.
Keep in mind no matter what age you should chose to adopt, it's no longer you and your dh adopting now---it's your entire family. Be sure the ages and issues of the child/baby you're considering can be managed within your family of four.



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Old 11-05-2012, 06:47 PM
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AMom2011 AMom2011 is offline
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how old are your babies?

mine are 17 month and 13 month old and yes, I'm 49 also

IF you feel it in your heart, and your husband is on board, then why not?

I think biology has it all wrong, lol I raised 2 kids when I was in my early 20s and had my last daughter when I was 30... but NOW I REALLY enjoy it!! I have nerves of steel, and FUN just to be with my littles...

I used to be 'all perfect' house was super clean, my laundry always done, kwim? NOW, oh well.... we are having 2 babies, and we are having fun, so when somebody comes unannounced , and there are toys all over the place, so be it
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