[Palmers70]

So we are wanting to adopt a baby, preferably a boy but we are so longing form our own child. We are looking for someone whom wants to give their child a loving and caring home. This seemed like a good place to talk, any advice?

[Linny]

How far have you come in the process? Have you started to contact an agency/attorney to begin an adoption homestudy? Much will have to do with how long you've been married/together....whether you have any other children.......your age will be secondary and will probably not be an issue.....

Sincerely,

Linny

[Palmers70]

Well we have completed s home study and have been foster for 2 years. We have been married for 9 years June 7th. We thought going through a fostering program would be a good idea, but not many babies. We really would like a child under 2.

[ruth74]

If you are looking into private adoption you will need a new homestudy. At least in my state (and I believe all states) the homestudy process is different for private vs. foster care adoption, and you cannot use one homestudy for the other.

I started by looking t what agencies were available in my area and interviewing them, as well as starting to think through what I was open to in terms of age, race, special needs, substance exposure, etc.

[Linny]

Correct advice from ruth. You will need a different homestudy and you'll have to pay for one. It IS an excellent idea to sit down and consider what you're open to; your adoption budget; what agencies/attorneys for adoption are available in your area. Once you contact an adoption agency/attorney, they should be able to offer further advice on what to do next.
Good luck!

Sincerely,

Linny

[Samson71]

My husband and I have been waiting almost three years hoping to be chosen. We are a wonderful, loving, and financially secure couple, but unfortunatley it seems the only thing the birthmother has to go of of is a photo album. We haven't been picked and are afraid that time is not on our side; I am 41 and my husband is 40. I am so scared that if we don't come up with another option it could be to late- I feel so much pressure as to what choices to make so one day we have our forever child. Just sharing my journey.

[adoptgoddess]

Samson 71, please do not give up hope. It sounds like you may need to re-strategize and do something different. But if you really want this, it is not too late!

Perhaps its time to go back to the research phase and look at other pathways to adoption. If all your paperwork is up to date, it's not necessarily that difficult to change things.

I have four children through adoption and one thing that I found really important is to not get set on one pathway and stick to it if its not working. There are so many ways to adopt and for every type of adoption--domestic, foster care, international, etc..--there are bad stories and good ones. There is no right way to do this. Nor is there one right agency.

But you have to be proactive and take charge of your adoption and the direction its going in. Do not wait for the 'experts' to handle things. It's your life.

Good luck and hang in there,

Elizabeth
p.s. My passion is helping empower women in the adoption process. I have lots of free articles and information on what it takes to succeed at adoption Adoption Goddess — tools & inspiration for creating a happy, healthy, 'lucky' adoption

[hertexas]

Amen adoption goddess!

[Palmers70]

Well thanks everyone for the advice. We talked with our agency and we are very lucky because our home study is accepted by local private agencies. Thank goodness. We have started looking at different agencies, but have been fortunate because also deals in private adoption. Samson71 what state do you live in? It seems we may be on the right road and would love to share with you! Thanks everyone for advice, it is sooo appreciated!

[Samson71]

Thank you Palmers70 for taking the time to respond. I live in Nebraska. I would appreciate any advice or any information you want to share.