[momof9wantingmore]

I am 50 and my DH is 49, we have 9 children ranging in age from 30 down to 5, and we are now the fost/adopt placement for our FS who is almost 4 months old. Right now, at home, we have an 8 year old, a 7 year old, a 5 year old and an almost 4 month old. We have been called their grandparents by some people, I just smile and say, "No, these are MY children". I love the surprised look on their faces. We are enjoying every minute of it and believe it or not we are not sure if we are done.

[cath88]

Hi! I can relate. I was 46 when we fostered last year and my foster daughter was 4 years old. One woman asked me the same thing, about being a young Grandma! I said I guess I look old! Then she quickly apologized and said so many women today are very young Grandmas! Yeah, that made me feel better. LOL We are hoping to adopt a newborn or toddler and now I'm a year older, so I guess those remarks may continue when we finally get to adopt. Grrrrrr

[cath88]

We have been trying to adopt for over 6 years and I feel drained at times. We've been with a couple agencies, fostered for 4 years, and have told every one we know about our wish to adopt. In addition, I've placed ad. Does anyone have any suggestions about who I should contact so we can adopt before I turn 50! I am 47 right now and would love to adopt a newborn or toddler up to 3 years old. Thanks!! cathyo1818@yahoo.com

[Larue]

Oh....I can soooooo relate. This has happened to me too. Just recently in fact. I'm 47, and my sweet Princesa Sabrina just turned 3. A few weeks ago, a woman in Target approached us and said "she's beautiful, where is your granddaughter adopted from?" I spent that evening researching Botox. Now if only I could get over the whole botulism injection in your face thing.

Getting old ain't for sissies!

[joskids]

Larue -- I LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE!!!

I'm in my 50's with a 3 year old and a 9, 10 and 11 year old at home. And you're right - "getting old is (definitely) not for sissies" but it beats 20 and naive by a longshot!!!

Hugs,
Josie

[loveajax]

I don't think I have got the "gma" thing yet (I am 40 and DD is almost 4). But when we go out (DH is 43), someone usually asks, "Is she your only?" or "Are her older brothers and sisters at home?" (as if she was our surprise menopause baby!!). i keep seeing the grays peeping out today....arrgggh!!

Larue, you just need to figure out where Octomom had her "work" done...hahahah!!

[cath88]

Well, I'm 47 and hubby is 49, so yes, we are older than the "norm", but I really don't care! I am so wishing to adopt a baby and can't wait until we bring the precious bundle home with us. And, I hope it's soon ... before we're "grandparents" ha! ha! People will talk no matter what. If someone is too young, they will comment on this, and if they think you are too "old", the same applies. Well, pee-pee on them, if they don't like it. It is our baby, not their, so we really shouldn't care.

Cathy

[Stormster]

Been called Gma twice. Once when E was about 4 days old and it was said over a loud speaker at a clinic!!!!! "_________'s grandmother is waiting" and I said "I'm his mother" (was shocked!) and then once in manhattan in a parking garage, the attendent who was from Africa asked me if I was his gma and I said dryly

You know, you should be more circumspect with the things you say as you seem to rely on tips for a living and proceeded to tip him half what I would have.

It still amazes me as I thought i looked great! I will say it depends where I am and who I meet because there are places where the mothers do tend to be younger.

[Spring09]

I had a baby at 38, and we are adopting the second (I'm 44 now). No one has ever asked me if I was the grandma because there are lots of older parents here. I thought for sure I'd be the oldest mom in the preschool, but not at all, not by a long shot!

[ptadopt]

I'm just discovering this thread and see it seems to have gone quiet, but just wanted to post a "thanks" for sharing your experiences. DH and I are adopting our first child. I'm 42, he's 45.

All of our siblings have older kids - my oldest nephew is 21, my youngest is 10. My brother is a grandfather. So our family thinks we've gone crazy. But it seems like the right move for us. We've gotten our education, are well-established in our careers, have traveled the world, have done a lot of the things our siblings say they are going to do "when the kids are out of the house."

But I do worry about the Gma comments AND the desire and ability (or lack thereof) to hang out in the mommy groups with the 20-somethings and their broods. I just have nothing in common with them - other than the kids.

Thanks for your posts. Nice to know we're not alone.

[joskids]

I'm in my mid 50's with a 3.5 year old. I have absolutely no desire to "hang out with the 20 somethings." I've got more energy and less to complain about than most of them do. I hang out with people who think like I do and I'm quite happy that way.

I could care less about the Grandma comments. My oldest grandchild is 13. I AM a grandma. But I'm a whole lot more than that, also.

You'll be fine. You'll have enough to worry about than what someone else thinks you are. Hold your head up high. This is YOUR life.

[MissGinger]

I am new to these forums, but I have to tell you, this thread made me smile, allot! My husband has been convinced that we are the oldest people in the world looking to adopt. I told him he was nuts, that we were not even close, but I have to admit, I was beginning to wonder. I am almost 48, he is almost 42. It is wonderful to see so many people over 40 adopting. It makes me feel much better about our ages, and the future.

[Barksum]

Dh is in his 50's and I'm in my 40's. We have children covering a fairly wide spread in ages. I've not had anyone ask or comment to me directly about being a grandma, but my oldest Dd (almost 17) is very tired of being asked if the younger kids are her children. (Once she was asked if her 11 yo brother were her son. She almost had kittens over that incident.) So I guess I could be the granny by implication there.

[ncblueeyes]

im so happy to find this thread...it gives me hope in our wait. Im 42, soon to be 43 and my husband will be 49 in a few weeks. We were approved to adopt in May 2009 and still waiting now for match....waiting is hard and it feels like we are getting older as we wait ( which we are, but i wonder for domestic adoption, how they look at that for us to parent an infant to 10 yr old). I think we are being realistic in our thinking of adopting a child a little older in that we are at an age in our life that we may not have all the energy that an infant may require... so thanks for posting and giving us hope!