[dragonfly1234]

I love that my little ones....well not so little any more (8 and 4) keep me running. I like to think that they keep me going with lots of running and exercise (hmmmm....still gaining weight lol). I also like to think that they keep me thinking ahead of them. Infact dh and I recently tried to convince them that we were secret superheroes. Dh told them I have eyes in the back of my head and that I can always tell when they are miss- behaving. They were almost convinced. The 8 year old is not quite convinced....lol

Does this happen to you all? Or is it just my silly, handsome, loveable boys?!

[Linny]

I agree. I find others I graduated with, or know from other situations, look OLD...ACT old......and well, they say they're amazed at how young and active dh and I are! I agree there're times I have to take more ibuprofen than I'd like to in order to keep at bay the aching back (I have problems from an accident years ago).......but, my babies keep us going.
They're now ages 6yrs, 5yrs and 18months....and we're hoping to adopt another baby. Well, let's just say the homestudy is updated and out there....but as for fees....(sigh).

Anyway.....I think it's our way to stay young and healthier than most I see. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Sincerely,

Linny

[cheesehead]

Since I am still waiting for our referral and realistically think it will be another 18 months or so, I can't help but think by the time we get our daughter I certainly will not be able to "keep up" with her. So thanks to you both for helping me to know that you are doing it and having fun while you tolerate the aches and pains! Now DH just went out for his 4 mile run as he does at least 5 times a week and I work with special needs kids all day and don't stop moving for a second from the time I enter my classroom until I get home. So.....we are very active for our ages of 50 and 52.


And my friends and family keep trying to discourage us from going through with our adoption....just because they don't think I will be able to keep up. I can't tell you how many times in the last week again that I have gotten the funny looks, the comments about us being stuck on the "idea" rather than understanding how much work it will be once we get her. No one even wanting to talk about it with us because they don't support us.....

So.....I can use all the encouragement and positives for keeping up with little ones at our ripe old ages! Cause sometimes I can't help but feel maybe they are right.

Keep the positive vibes comin'

[momof9wantingmore]

We are 48 and 50 and have 3 young children 7,6 and 4, that we adopted from foster care, we just became licensed foster parents in our new state and are ready to go again, not sure if we will adopt again, but you never know. They definitely keep us young, I go to bed earlier than when I was raising my older children, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

[dragonfly1234]

As usual Linny I love hearing from you. Thanks!

cheesehead....Positive vibes coming your way! You will be awesome parents. My family says the same thing about us and our age. Don't let them discourage you from becoming parents. I wouldn't change it for anything.

momof9wantingmore.....I to have to go to bed earlier....lol But like you said "I wouldn't change it for the world".

[Linny]

I can't tell you how many times in the last week again that I have gotten the funny looks, the comments about us being stuck on the "idea" rather than understanding how much work it will be once we get her. No one even wanting to talk about it with us because they don't support us..... --cheesehead

Cheesehead....ohhhhh, let me tell you!!!!!!
Dh and I are both 51 this year. We didn't adopt our first child until age 23. The next one came in '82. At that time ('81/82).....we were considered OLD for just starting out. I remember well the high school reunions and people remarking about 'how we waited SO LONG!' (Incredible, BTW...) And now, at 51, we have a 6yr old, a 5yr old and 18month old....all babies when they came; and we just updated our homestudy to do this again (God Willing...... (hope, hope, hope!!!!)

I"ve heard that 'You haven't any idea how much WORK that'll be'......for SO LONG. Honestly, I think MANY people who say that, simply didn't think raising children was as neat as they thought it would be. (I hope that doesn't offend anyone....I've just basically found that thinking to be true where we've been.)

We've also found, there are a LOT of people who'd secretly give just about anything to be able to adopt more babies now that they're older....but either their jobs, family or spouses don't agree. I often feel so badly for them too...because it's clear how they feel when you hear them speak about it.

There are those who think about doing things; those who talk about doing things; and those who actually do them.
(That's paraphrased from some other comment somewhere.)

Funny thing is........if any of us were going back to college, taking on a new job, or going back to work, I daresay the majority of people would exclaim, "Well, GOOD for YOU!!!!" (And clap while they're saying it, KWIM?)

But when many of us talk about going back to---or starting to Parent again, or for the first time....people seldom give those kinds of responses, do they? It makes me wonder why....... I mean, WHY should they CARE about the steps and type of work we're planning out for ourselves?????

....And the only reason I can think of---for the most part----is that many of them are really-- secretly-- thinking-- and wishing----they---were---us!

Stay the course, cheese........it'll happen, and you'll do well, indeed!!!!! (((HUG)))

Most Sincerely,

Linny

[Meera]

Wow, Linny, that was great to read! I'm 46 and my husband is 52 and we just adopted a little girl. Even after raising our two grown boys, we are estatic about it. But time and again people look at us odd and tell us how "brave" we are. Occasionally I let myself worry that maybe I am too old to start over. Yet, you're stated it so well, we know what we are doing it right for us and we're thrilled. ;-)

[CaddoRose]

We are 45 and 50 and have an 11 yr old bio daughter. We are newly licensed to take newborn- 9yr olds for foster/adopt. The times we have had babies for weekend respite have been a blast. I wasn't sure I could do it all, but like Linny said, a few ibuprofen and I'm good to go! Somewhere the strength comes up and I keep going because- I want to. I really want to raise more kids and because of that I keep going. I think I'm a better more informed parent now that when I was younger.

[joskids]

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it appears I beat all of you. I am 57, my husband is 48. We have 4 adopted children, ages 2 thru 10 and I have 4 bio children, ages 24 thru 34. SO, do I get the same comments about "I don't know how you do it. I could NEVER do what you are doing", etc.? Absolutely! I don't expect others to understand what I do. It doesn't matter to me if someone else "understands" it. I've pretty much always lived my life this way and it works well for me. I didn't worry what others thought when I married an AA man either. As for putting us on some kind of pedestal for adopting at our ages . . . I hate that part of it also. These are OUR CHILDREN. We both have a lot of energy at our ages. My Italian grandmother raised 10 children with very little assistance from her husband. My 82 year old mother is a bundle of energy and never stops. My 82 year old father still golfs and sails. It must be in our blood but whatever the reason, you just can't be worried about what anyone else thinks. This is your life, live it. If you have the energy to adopt a young child in your 50's, then do it. It would be a shame for you not to live your dream because of what someone else thought. Linny, you have such a way with words. I just LOVE reading your posts. Just in case you didn't know it, you're #1 on my pedestal!!!!

[Larue]

Hmmm...when I first read the title of this thread, I thought it said "keeping it up" and we were talking about something else entirely.

Cheesehead I feel your pain. I'm 46 and DH is 42, and our Princesa is 2. And we're hoping to adopt another little one within the next year or so. My mother's reaction when I told were we were adopting again was "why would you do that? You're not a Spring chicken you know". Of course she was only 20 when I was born. She can't relate to my journey. Don't let your family discourage you. You'll be amazing parents. Because what's in your heart is more important then anything. Best wishes in your journey!

[startedover]

ALthough this thread is not new, I am totally glad it resurfaced. I have spent the last week worrying myself to death. I am 40 and recently diagnoised with possible Fibermayliga. And even though I feel 40 most days, there have been days I feel 50. Here lately I am feeling younger though since I started exercising. Then all the sudden my 18 month old morphed into a ball of hyperactive , attitude sporting matter of energy. I worried that I would not be able to keep up with her, and glad to know you guys have been doing a great job. I would love to see more post on the over 40 board. No let me re phrase that I NEED MOE POST on the over 40 board. thanks

[cheesehead]

A special thanks and many to all of you for your support! We just got home from a two week holiday in England where we visited family. DH is from England and we hadn't seen them in many years...so it was wonderful. What was even better was the genuine support I received from everyone. My MIL kept telling me that age does not matter at all...it's not about how old you are, it's about how you feel and what you want. Even Dh's 93 yr. old grandmother wanted to help out in any way she could to make the process work for us!

My family and friends is another story, but at least I know I have support from all of you and "some" of the family. It was cute as we were talking with our nieces about adopting and they asked what "adopting" means. Our 9 year old niece explained it and it was just precious. OK....so later in the day our 4 yr. old niece came up to my husband and said "You'll make a really good grandpa!" So....I guess we are already laughing about the grandpa comments! But on a happier note....I didn't get the grandma comment

Your encouragement and support is very comforting to me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart! I'd love to keep this dialog going as it helps tremendously when talking with those who "get it".

[Stormster]

Chiming in here! 42 year old at time of birth and 43 now with a 1 year old and first time mom. Hi Linny! Thread stood out for me since I am about to LEAVE for a 2 weeks holiday in UK to visit DH's family. Cheese where were you in England? We are going to Surrey/South London area. Go Chelsea! I'm afraid to ask who does your DH support?

We never had any slack about our age from anyone but DH sometimes makes jokes about it. His big issue before we adopted was "what am I going to do on Sports Day at school?" I never really thought about it but after the fiftieth time I said "Honey I don't even KNOW what sports day is!?!?!?!?!" I guess it's a British thing where the Dads go to school and compete in sports with their kids. He went to an all boy's school and I guess it was an issue if your Dad was a good athlete.

First of all he's very fit and looks GREAT but who cares???? Anyway, DS will almost surely be at Montessorri where there are certainly not father's competing like that. Can you imagine? You spend your whole life winning your child's respect and you lose one three legged potato sack race and it's all out the window?

Anyway, we are very very happy. I also want to say we had a "nurse" helping me in the beginning and she was very impressed with me because I am a very relaxed mother You'd never know it from all the insecurities I post about but the truth is, I'm "there" emotionally and seen enough that a little projectile vomit just doesn't freak me out!

I'm a much better mom than I would have been when I was in my 20's. My whole family agrees. I keep my mouth shut when my back hurts though LOL sometimes it does. And of course DS loves nothing more than being thrown around like a little rag doll (giggles constantly) so I do it. Hey I have biceps for the first time!

[cheesehead]

Hi Stormster,

DH's parents live in Abingdon, just south of Oxford. His father is a Manchester United fan.....nephew in London is a Liverpool fan....DH doesn't really follow soccer/football in England anymore. DH is a diehard American football, Oakland Raiders fan....only because that is the team he first started watching in England. I am a born and raised Green Bay Packer fan....hence cheesehead!

DH also went to an all boys school....Abingdon School. And yes, competition was a big thing and still is with DH. Have a safe and wonderful trip and brace yourself for the deflated American dollar....$2 = 1 pound. YIKES!

And I hear you about having to keep your mouth shut when you have the aches and pains. That is really a fear of mine, as I really won't be able to share the hard times with my friends or family which will be really hard for me. The only thing I will probably get is "we told you so" or "we warned you" or "you should have listened to me". My tongue will certainly be full of bite marks !!!!!

Take care and let's keep in touch!

[journeytolily]

It's good to know that there are other APs out there in my age bracket!

DH and I have two kids, a daughter from Guatemala and a son from Korea (6.5 & 5). We have been in the process of adopting from Vietnam for the past 19 months (had a referral and lost it after 3 months), and now the program is closing .

We are starting over, with domestic. I am now 47 and DH is 43. Even though we started late, I never imagined that I would be trying to adopt a newborn baby in my late 40s! Although I try to get used to the idea that maybe we are done, I just can't seem to let the dream go, so we are going to wait until it happens, no matter how old I am!!