[Linny]

We're no strangers to adoption; and I think we've conducted adoption in just about every direction one can...internationally, through the foster care system, through private domestic adoption (with help from an attorney). Most of our adoptions have been transracial.
Bottom line, we've BTDT on a lot of aspects of adoption. We've had children with special needs, and they haven't just been the older children either. And, we've known the pain of disruptions (with agencies agreeing with us), and even a re-adoption. Our homestudy reflects all of this.

Sooo, when an agency proclaims to have many special needs babies that are waiting---we submit our homestudy and we hear basically nothing pertaining to meeting any of the requirements to adopt any of these babies, it gives me cause for concern.

I'm wondering if the problem might really be our ages. We just turned 51 a month ago. I understand birthfamily requesting someone younger...and I have no problem with that. However, when the agency won't even discuss ANYTHING.......THAT'S when I have to wonder if the agency has a problem with us being older,, even though I told them of our ages before our homestudy was sent, KWIM?

I can't complain too much. We've been so blessed with wonderful babies. But, when the agency is practically begging for families to adopt any of their featured babies, and they'll not explain anything to us..... I just have to wonder......

I've written. I've phoned and I continue to get the same answer-----your homestudy is on file and we'll contact you if you're a possible match (and I'm wondering whether it's 'file 13' or really considered a possibility!!! LOL)

Thankfully, we've always dealt with more than one agency/attorney. While this bugs me to pieces, at least I feel we have other places and other possibilities.
Just had to vent. Thanks for listening!

Sincerely,

Linny

[dragonfly1234]

Linny I am sorry to hear this.....but I know that you will be chosen. You are awesome parents! My fingers are crossed that you will be matched soon!

[Linny]

Thanks for the encouragement. This was one day I truly needed it! (sigh)

Most Sincerely,

Linny

[Linny]

I wanted to give encouragement to any of those who feel their 'ages' will discourage them from adopting babies.

The answer is a resounding, 'NO!'

I'm evidence of that, believe me. My dh and I have adopted a lot of times and waited for nearly one year this time for our wee one who was born in February. We're still awaiting ICPC, but hoping it won't be too much longer!
We're both 51 and will be 52 this year. We also have a two year old, a five year old and seven year old---all adopted. And, we're also proud parents to two other children now grown and on their own.

It happens. It does. She's laying in my lap at this very moment and she's proof it DOES happen!

Sincerely,

Linny

[sak9645]

Many people in their 40s and 50s choose international adoption, because it is hard to find situations domestically that will work. Still, if you are determined to adopt domestically, you CAN find a placement, especially through private adoption.

Sharon

[Linny]

Our first two babies were adopted internationally while we lived in Japan. Our oldest daughter and oldest son.

However, while we seriously considered adopting internationally again---believe me, we have before each and every baby we've adopted domestically------MOST agencies will NOT work with us because we're over 45yrs old, or over 50yrs old. UNLESS we wanted to adopt an older child...something we don't intend to ever do again after the problems we had with the older children we DID adopt.

Sincerely,

Linny

[VIPERFPG]

husband and i are 46 and 47---blessed with our angel baby who we picked up at 4 days old may 2008, in hotel for 8 wks for inters adoption between la and tn.
we were matched before we even had signed contract with agency.
hang in there --- our birthmom was 23 yr olds who selected husband and i.

[Magic_Hat]

We just brought home a baby boy. We are 41 and 43 and the baby's birth mom is 16! She could be our daughter but obviously she doesn't think we are too old to be good parents for her baby. Our DD's birth mom was 25 when she picked us two years ago. Good luck to everyone!

[brooklyn_girl]

Linny, that's crazy. I gotta wonder if it's the ol' bait and switch? It's like the electronics store getting you in the door for the great deals and then oops, there aren't any of what you came in for left? Hey they got your attention didn't they? Hmmm.