[texastwostep]

Hi, new to this forum. Have some questions about eligibility of adopting a child...

Here's where we stand:
I am 44, wife is 33. After 5 years of marriage and no conception, we have determined with our doctor that there are infertility issues, so we are looking at the possibility of adoption. We smoke - I know this isn't a great start but like I say, looking for answers. Other possible problems (with a home study?) include light alcohol consumption, firearms (in the safe) and though we practice (or try as best we can) Christianity, we have no official church home.

We are loving people, though, with a home that can be made ready for a child at a moment's notice. Not much of a back yard, unfortunately.

That's about it, I guess.

So are we nuts even thinking about adoption?

[lovemy2boys]

Ummm...you sound pretty normal - lol. I say go for it!

[KatiesEd-dad]

Ok....your description of your selves sounds exactly like my DW and I (except for the alcohol consumption, we don't drink) and we have adopted once and had a second home study done for our second attempt. You don't have to be perfect to adopt. You just have to be decent parent material. Just don't try and hide anything from the SW doing the home study.

[mrsred]

No red flags there that I can see. but since you will have a reason to stick around a long time... get rid of the cigarettes. I quit over five years ago and am so glad I did.

[dragonfly1234]

Welcome to the forum!!

You both sound quite normal.

[musemoon]

You both sound great. I am a single adoptive mom turning 40. I would say the only thing I would work on is the smoking. I stopped after 20 years so that I could adopt. Through foster care, in Los Angeles, the smoking is a pretty big deal breaker at our agency. When I quit, I just focused on my baby and quitting for her and her little lungs and it made quiting easier, not easy but easier and now I AM SO GLAD I QUIT!

Other than that light alcohol consumtion ;-) Well you're welcome to our house for dinner and wine anytime :-) we have guests over often. And no back yard....while we have a little on now, when I was placed with my baby, I lived on the fifth floor of an arty farty apartment building in a one bedroom apartment.

[texastwostep]

Thanks everyone. I guess the sub-question is, with me being 'mid fortys' is infant adotion out of the question?

[KatiesEd-dad]

Originally Posted by texastwostep

Thanks everyone. I guess the sub-question is, with me being 'mid fortys' is infant adotion out of the question?

My DW was 44 and I was 42 when we were placed with our DD at 36 hours old. We're now 2 1/2 years older than that and in the adoption pool at our agency who usually only deals with infant adoption. We are not the oldest ones in the pool either. Age is a frame of mind.

[Linny]

Both dh and I were 44 when our third baby was placed with us, 46 when the fourth one came, and 49 when the fifth one arrived! And, actually there's a thinking of doing this again----(our oldest 'baby' is almost 30 and we'll be 51yrs old this spring)!!!!

I'll say what our adoption attorney (who's been in the business for many years) has told us, "I've never had any birthparents ever ask the ages of people in the profiles."

Drop the cigs, wade through the paperwork, pass the homestudy criteria w/ background checks and such, wait-----breathe------ and your baby will find you!

Sincerely,

Linny