[dragonfly1234]

I am just curious if any of you ever wished that you made the choice to parent at a younger age? Or are you happy with the choice that you made to parent at an older age?

[linda512]

It's a funny thing. I really wish I had been ready at a younger age, but I wasn't. I can't change that and am at peace with that. I know that I am a better mother now than I would have been before. I don't sweat the small stuff and I really enjoy my son. There is very little he does so far that really makes me crazy, I have a lot of patience.
If I could rewrite my life, I would have gotten married young, had 3 kids in the suburbs and live happily ever after- maybe. But, right now I am enjoying life as a single, older mother in the city.
Good question!

[mrsred]

Well, I didn't really choose to start parenting at 40. I had a miscarriage at 21, improper medical treatment resulted in major infection that blocked my tubes. When I was 34 they invented a procedure to open tubes (just like angioplasty, but tuboplasty, with the little balloons). The woman that invented the procedure performed it on me and was able to open one tube. But dispite fertility pills and artificial insemination I still didn't concieve. At 39 1/2, three years after giving up, I found myself pregnant. Our bio son was born two months after my 40th birthday. Since no other kids came along, we adopted two older children from foster system (and are hopefully adopting one more).
So, would I do it different? No. Even though this was not the way I would have planned it, God worked things out in His way, and I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's.

[JPDakota]

Honestly, I'm not one to have regrets. But if I were, I don't think not parenting at an earlier age would be one of them. I'm pretty much good with how things are now.

[enerad]

There are days I wish I was younger in the energy side of life being 43 and having 2 1/2 year old twins. However... I know we are better parents being in our 40's. We truely enjoy our children and spend much of our life laughing at the day events. I like that I have traveled, done things in the career life, and spent time alone with my husband. I think if I had juggled all that with kids a few years back it wouldn't have benefitted the children. Our life is them right now and we don't sweat the small stuff, we stop and spend time with them rather than just care for them. I think we realize how short life is and if you don't take the opportunity to enjoy the momment it might not be there tomorrow. That comes with age and experience. We watch our nephews who have children the same age, they in their 20's and us in our 40's and we definate place more focus on our kids.

Now... can I take a bit of the energy into my life????

[Linny]

I smiled when I read your question, because we have been parents of children since we were 23yrs old!!!! LOLOL!
I remember we told the initial adoption agency in Japan, that 'we wanted to have all of our children by the time we were 25yrs old'. Looking back on that NOW.....who'd have known!?!?!?!!? :0
We adopted two infants at 23 and 25yrs old.....then in our late thirties, we went the older child adoption route; then around 45yrs old, we started the infant adoption thingy again!!!!
Now, after having adopted THREE more infants who are still home...and we are now FIFTY.......I can tell you this:
I'm afraid I still regret the older child adoption years sometimes. Counselors have told us, I shouldn't; but I go in phases of thinking we did-- no good--, to thinking we did our best, despite the fact that all three failed in some way.
But, the two initial baby adoptions are now grown and doing well. The three at home now (two pre-schoolers and one under 1yr)....are a hoot, and we're sooo glad we have them!!!!

Would there be more? I seriously doubt it---I really do. I have no intentions of adopting again. But, I've learned to 'never say never'...... (clearly, we were wrong when we were 23 and 25yrs old, weren't we???)

Sincerely,

Linny

[kelceesmom]

Sometimes I wish we were younger having our first child. It would have maybe given us the chance to have another baby. Now I am definately to old for my taste!

I know I have more patience at my age and it is better this way. But, I do wonder sometimes. Everything happens for a reason.

[musemoon]

I'm 39, so not 40 yet, but will be when my next daughter comes.

I tell ya, my kiddo is like a cool drink of water after a long hot dry walk through the desert.

I always wanted to be a young mom, guess I'm a mom with a young heart. Thoughts like... I'll be in my sixties when they graduate college freak me out. But I have had a wonderful life and I have a lot more wonderful life ahead of me....so no....it happened at just the right time.

Also I get to really enjoy her! And I don't miss traveling or dining out, or being crazy....I still am....within reason and whatever I miss now being a mom and not being invited to....I don't regret. I had my share of partying and I am ready for pigtails and pinatas :-)

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by dragonfly1234

I am just curious if any of you ever wished that you made the choice to parent at a younger age? Or are you happy with the choice that you made to parent at an older age?

I'm definately a better parent now than I would have been in my 20's. However, I wish I had more energy. When the kids are finally tucked in, I'm exhausted. I wish I had the energy had when I was 21.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by dragonfly1234

I am just curious if any of you ever wished that you made the choice to parent at a younger age? Or are you happy with the choice that you made to parent at an older age?

Not quite 40 yet but working on it in the next year, lol!!! I don't really feel like I had a choice in the matter of when I got to be a parent. This is how my life has unfolded so there are no regrets (just concerns, see below!) I didn't marry til I was almost 30 then infertility took away the next six years. So I guess it is what it is.

I am certain I would have been a good Mom in my 20's/early 30's but it would have been different. All my experiences to this point affect how I parent in some way.

We (okay I, I'm 39, DH is 52) do kinda worry about the later years and having energy for our high-spirited kiddos as teens. And I am trying to do my best to live well so I can have every chance of living long to enjoy my kids (and hopefully grandkids) for a really long time. That is definitely something I think about in making lifestyle choices.

[tanmansmom]

I had my first , "Oh, is that your grandson?" moment yesterday. I was floored. I am 41 and IMHO I don't look old enough to be a grandmother!!! My husband thought it was funny. It made me stop and think...for about a nanosecond, "Should we have done this? Is it fair to Tanner." Then I reminded myself that I am 41, not 71 and the woman at the bank was stupid. If I had chosen to become a mother in my 20's, my husband would not be my son's daddy and that would be unthinkable.

[kazmumtobe]

The answer - YES definately...but I spent 13 years trying to be a younger mom...didn't happen... I wished I would have stopped sooner and went to adoption but then our son wouldn't have been ready!!!

I hope I will have the energy for another one very soon - at 41 with a 4 year old and wanting a newborn - I need lots of vitamins!!!

I know I am a much more patient, laid back (sorta) mom now - plus financially we are better off than when we were 25...so that helps... This was our path and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I have a wonderful DH and a beautiful son and a very happy life!!!

I am thankful that is for sure!!!!

[mrsred]

[quote=tanmansmom]I had my first , "Oh, is that your grandson?" moment yesterday. I was floored. I am 41 and IMHO I don't look old enough to be a grandmother!!! My husband thought it was funny. QUOTE]

So far that has never happened to me, but it did happen to my husband, who is actually seven years younger than me! I am 51, with two 11 yr olds and an eight year old. Next weekend we meet a little girl that will be turning 4 in September, as a possible placement. do I think maybe I am too old? No, not at all. I don't look anywhere near 50, and I certainly don't feel it. We just got back from Disneyland, and I closed the place down every night! I refuse to think of myself as old, at all. And for those of you approaching forty and starting to think of yourself as an "older mom", stop it right now. As soon as you think of yourself as old, you are.

And by the way, tanmansmom, I have known plenty of grandmother's in their 30's. In fact my dd's granmother is only 3 years older than me. since dd has a half sister that is 16 that means she was a grandmother at 38.

[dragonfly1234]

tanmansmom....ROFL!!! I just had that same comment a few weeks ago. And you know I just turned a young 44. Some people just don't think before speaking.

I do not regret being a mom now at my young 44 versus a younger age. My sister was a young mom and so I enjoyed my career and being an aunt who could spoil my nieces. I enjoyed advancing in my career, traveling and owned my own home. Did I sometimes have that thought that I would love to have a husband and children....absolutely!!

I just know that I am more patient today. For me I am a better mom today than I could possibly have been when younger.

[Rebecca G.]

I can say that I have no regrets starting over. My oldest is 22 and will have a baby in Aug (my first grandbaby). Then my son who is 19 and wonderful. Then in April we adopted Connor who was 2 months old at the time. I cannot tell you how much we adore him. There are times that I get more tired then I did with the first two but I have more patience and seem to have more time for him.

I also feel like I am in no hurry for sitting up, walking, potty training like I did the first time. This time I was to just enjoy him while he is little and savor each and every day...