[T&T]

Once again I want to say thank you for your support and encouragement. Lord knows I need it as I feel rather weary as our adoption saga continues to drag on and on. Can't say that we are not persistant, right?

Singlemama2B and pnewcombe- wonderfully inspiring stories thank you for sharing your insights.

JGarrick- another well written insightful post, thank you!

I know that sometimes this forum grows rather quiet at times and I for one would really like to see that change. For those of you who have adopted and have realized your dream, please keep cheering on those of us who are still struggling to do so. Keep sharing your stories and continue to remind us that yes it can work out just fine if one adopts later in life. As Joe pointed out we live in a youth obsessed culture, so it's nice to have a way to connect with the more "mature and wiser" crowd.
Yeah for the 40 plus-ers!

Tracey

[dragonfly1234]

Just started reading this post. Hmmmm...I am 43 and dh is 46. Our first son was bio (miracle) at 40 and 43. We knew that we wanted other children. Not to be. We adopted our youngest at 41 and 44. We want to adopt again.

All I want to say is that you are as young as you think you are. I still to this day cannot believe that I am the age that the birthcertificate says that I am...lol

I am a big advocate for lots of laughter!!!!

[DebCsMom]

Josie, I LOVE what you said!!!

I will be 44 next week! Our youngest son will be 4 in September. We didn't bat an eye when we adopted him. I've always felt that age is just a number, you are as old as you feel.

My age isn't stopping us from adopting more!! I would keep going forever! DH is the one stopping us! CREEP!!! LOL He says it's time for him now, WHATEVER!!! LOL I have to keep reminding him that it was HE who started the Family Bed!! I can't help it if they all still want to sleep in our bed! You, know, not to go off subject but, I think with co-sleeping becoming so popular & king size beds not being big enough, they need to make "Family Size" mattresses!!! LOL

Anyway, don't let your age get in the way of having children! Remember, age is JUST A NUMBER!

Deb

[misuspotts]

Let me pose a couple of new question to all of you. Did any of you have older parents? Did any of you have grandparents that died before you were born, or when you were little? If you answered yes to either of those quesitons, how has that affected your views on being an older parent?


My mom was 39 when I was born, 42 for my younger sister. I have three older siblings and they were supposed to be "it". Surprise! While I was aware that my parents were older it never was a big deal. They were active and healthy and involved in our activites at least as much as younger parents. My mom said having us "kept her young". For me, having young children while in my 40's helps me think of myself as younger than I am. I do look younger as well, so maybe that helps, but I think it is mostly mental. I don't really see myself as that different from younger parents, except that I have a lot more experience, both in life and as a parent (because our bkids are 19 and 15).

I only knew one grandparent, but would never have known my maternal grandmother regardless as she died when my mom was a child. Having our birthchildren in our 20's didn't guarantee them granparents, as my H's father also died young and his mother when the kids were little (of course, she was also an "older" mom.) Of course, I wish I had known my other grandparents, but that's life. As it is, my kids have little physical contact with my parents because we live 500 miles away, but they are still very close emotionally.

[intladoptionblog]

Happy to see this thread alive and kicking again ...

I never had a grandfather, as both of mine died when my parents were children. I now live on the other side of the planet from my mother, so my little ones make due with my husband's parents. ("Make due" actually means "are spoiled rotten by".)
As for adopting in your 40s, I was busy traveling the world and getting a new life then, so didn't get around to my second set of kids until I was 50+.
I'm now looking down the barrel of 56 with a 4-year-old son and a daughter about to turn two in 8 days.
Does it get any better than this? I don't think so!

[SingleMama2B]

Originally Posted by misuspotts

Did any of you have older parents? Did any of you have grandparents that died before you were born, or when you were little?

For me... my mom was a very young (and immature) Mom. She had my sister the day before she turned 18, and me at 20. Her marriage fell apart when I was 2, and she tried her hardest, but she worked all of the time (2 and 3 jobs), and HAD to have a 'guy' around all of the time. My sister and I where 'fit in' between work and boyfriends. It was what it was, but now, she has soooo many regrets. She loves that I have me DD now, and sees (with me) how it would (maybe) been different if she had waited to have children until she was older. In her words.... she would have had more patiences, better job, got all of the partying out of the way, would have enjoyed being a mom more. Don't mis-understand me, this is the way my Mom feels. I lived it, and it was not easy or good alot of the time (welfare, used clothes, birthday presents bought with S&H Green Stamps (where there was enough), left alone (original Latch-Key Kids) ALOT at a young age, etc. But I tell her now, "Well, you did alot right also!" "Both "R" and I turned out good. She with a loving husband, stay at home with 3 children, etc. Me, a good career, and now a Mom - My dream come true!"

I think it is ALL what YOU make of it. I had both grandparents until I was 8 years old. My dear sweet grandfather passed, BUT my wonderful Grandmother was the biggest part of my life for 37 years!!!! I only have one sibling, but several very, very close friends and thier families. DD refers to my 2 best friends as "Aunt xxxx" She always says to me.... "Mom, we have such a BIG family! We are very lucky!"

Back to your original question.... I sometimes wish I was alittle bit younger, but I so know that this was "HIS" plan. With DD's learning difficuties, and issues, I know being older (not that old 44 now and she is 10), that I have a better head on my shoulders now. I can't even remember my life before DD came home (and that was only 2 years ago). She is my sunshine!