[Pattyjb]

Hey, I am 54 and hubby is 48!!! But I am a young 50's the world thinks i am 40... been trying to adopt since 1999! I was in my mid 40's at that time.
Would LOVE a list of agencies, Bettridge@ameritech.net
Thanks

[mommy_again]

Ok Guys,

Now you can all feel better. I am 55 (56 next week) and my husband was 56 in Sept. We are in processs of adopting a 2 year old from Guatemala and are in the final stages. We have 10 bio children, 7 grandchildren but we love kids We are ready and waiting for our daughter. (Guatemala is in real political/adoption apheaval right now)
We see there are needy kids who need love of a family. We desire to give that to a child and(lo and behold) here we are. Sometimes I struggle with the age thing but as a friend of mine said "WE have always been "pace-setters"!"

God bless...
deb

[BuckarooBanzai]

I was 39 and my wife was 49 when get adopted our first. We now have 2 and are waiting for a thrid. We had a placement fail in January.

I think adopting older is better. It keeps us younger and we are better set to care for the kids.

I have only received the Grandpa comment once. However, my DW has received it several times. At the Zoo, someone revered to my DW as 'Grandma' to my elderest. He immediately corrected them as said that is my Mommy! Shut that person up quick.

[DCMomLady]

You know what I've found? After a few years, people stop making that mistake. My daughter is now almost 5; I'm 52 and dadman is 60. We are never called Grandma and Grandpa anymore, although it happened more than once in the beginning. I think we look more like parents now and interact more like parents than we did when the shock and awe was still upon us. Maybe it's just how frazzled we look after surviving the toddler and pre-school years!

DeeCee, the Momlady

[JGarrick]

Originally Posted by mommy_again

I am 55 (56 next week) and my husband was 56 in Sept. We are in processs of adopting a 2 year old from Guatemala...

So, how often are you getting the "Did you know that when she's 18 you're going to be 71?" question?

I'm ten years younger than you and have already heard it. Well, yes, I took math in second grade too, but I guess I hadn't yet figured out how to take a kid's age and mine and come up with my age when they're 18. It's a good thing there are so many math whizzes in the world to tell us these things.

[momtwotwins]

Hi ,
we are 53 and used a surrogate and an egg donor to have twins. So far I don't feel old but I am overwhelmed at times.

[joskids]

We're ALL "overwhelmed at times." I'm im my 50's, DH is 10 years younger, we have 4 adopted (and 4 from my previous marriage, all adults) and 6 grandchildren. You know what? I don't feel HALF as overwhelmed as these young mothers that I see at the mall or elsewhere who can't handle one child with the grace and confidence that I handle 4. As to Joe's comment about people trying to teach him to add -- how ignorant would a person have to be to lay a comment like that on someone? I'd answer just the way you said it here, that you took addition in second grade but thanks for the refresher course!!!

[LucindaM]

My husband is 52 and I am 51 (for a few more weeks anyway) and we are not so patiently waiting on our referral of our new baby daughter from Vietnam. I had to laugh at the "do you know you'll be 71 when she's 18" comment. My doctor refused to sign off on my physical because after all I would be 70 when our child turned 18. To say the least I found a new doctor. The funny thing is, she had absolutely no problelm signing my husband's paperwork. I guess it must be OK to be an older Dad. Of course my husband has also gotten the "way to go stud" comment when he announced he was going to be a Daddy again. Of course he thought is was hilarious....You have to wonder sometimes if people leave their brains at home.

Lucinda

[Linny]

You know what? In response to the 'do you know you'll be 70 when they're 18yrs old?' comment.....I thought about this last night. Tell them:

"Yes, we've done the math. We planned it this way because we know we've experienced and know so much more than parents who are younger than us?---and we wanted to assure our child/ren we were giving them the best set of parents ever!'

I think that oughta shut 'em up! Whaddaya think? LOL

Sincerely,

Linny---who just turned 50 with dh and loving the raising babies thing.

[joy42]

well we got everyone beat so far I am 56 and hubby 65 we are adopting from fostercare been aproved sense 11/22/2006 still waiting for a child age2-12yo hope for a girl most people say we are crazy this is your retirement years well I am not ready for the old rocker and children keep you young and alive they are little blessings from god...........

[marcav]

I am 56 and will be finalizing adoption on 5/25 for my 20 month old whom I've had since birth. Now I'm thinking he should have a sibling just because of my age!

[joy42]

are you adopting from fostercare or private

[marcav]

I'm adopting from foster, and he couldn't have been a better match. We have exactly the same personality, and a number of people have even told me he looks like me (he's AA and I'm caucasion!)

I know it differs from state to state, but my state (unfortunately) is pretty much ground zero for foster care. My requirements were from 0-2, so they put me on the list for border babies. The week after I got him they asked me if I wanted a 9 week old baby girl who was probably going to go to TPR. They never questioned my age.

I will say, though...that we had strongly considered going through Americans for African Adoptions...to get an infant.
Though the director tried, the countries they work with would not allow us to have an infant....but only a child over the age of 5yrs.

Is that Ethiopia? I had considered that country because I thought they were more flexible.

Mary

[Linny]

Just chiming in here too........we had also considered working with Americans for African Adoptions too....and encountered the same problem in being too old for a newborn or infant (under 12 months). This agency works with several groups throughout Africa, and---just as the other poster spoke of-----even though the agency tried, no group would allow us being older parents.
I'm told though, that there are other agencies who'll allow older parents, but I don't have info on them personally. (Check the agency listings on this site....that may help?)

But, consider that many domestic agencies will work with older couples and situations can still be found with fees that aren't sky high. It takes some research and some waiting, perhaps, but they can be found.

Sincerely,

Linny