[milli1]

Hello Everyone, New here and I've noticed there isn't any Jehovahs Witnesses here. Is there any and have you been able to adopt? I am trying to but have run into issues with local adoption agency about the blood issue. I am anxious to get answers. I know Witnesses have been able to adopt and hope they will share their experience with others.

[Mandymck]

Hello,

I am one of Jehovah's Witness, but my husband and I are in the process of adopting. We had no problems with the blood issue, but it is such a very long process. It has really worn us thin and you get to the point that you feel you can't trust anyone anymore. I believe we have reached the end of our adoption road. We were suppose to leave for the Ukraine in Feb.' 07 after waiting a year for Ukraine to even open for adoptions. Then they pushed it to March, then April & Now June. The real kicker is that they told us all our paperwork would not have to be renewed. The girl we were working with changed to a new guy and he is making us redo everything all over again. So, this means lots more time and money. We have waited so long at this point and we can't get the social worker to work with us. He is suppose to be updating our home study, yet it has been a month since we asked him to do it. He has never even called. I e-mailed him once and asked if he had gotten my e-mail the day before, letting him know what we needed. He e-mailed back the words " working on it" and that is all he has said for one month. So hard to deal with.

On a more positive note, adoption is so rewarding and such a blessing. I do not discourage anyone from doing it. I do however strongly recommend staying in the USA and spend a lot of time reseaching the agency before you sign on. They should not ask for any money down and if they do it should be very little. We put down $ 12,000 in one chunk. BIG mistake. Always remember that this is a game of more than one kind and you have to be wise and truthful with yourself about what is really going on with certain things and don't stick your head in the sand and think they will go away. I really thought if I just did all my paperwork and paid my money. Spent my time waiting everything would be fine. I say no, now. Get a lawyer and be careful there too.
I would not go with a birth mother. I would go through a state foster care like Ohio has a good set up with their kids. ODJFS and if this doesn't work just type in Ohio Adoption Photolisting. I have just discovered this one.
If I can help you in anyway please feel free to contact me.
Mandymck@aol.com
Thanks,
Mandy

[JPDakota]

I have a friend who is a Witness, as is her family, and they have built a whole family with domestic adoptions through foster to adopt. They still foster and are perhaps the best foster parents I've ever met. Anyway, they were successful more than once!
Good luck.

[lishop]

We are Witnesses and have adopted from Liberia through PLAN Loving Adoptions Now and are currently adopting an African American infant (waiting for a match) also through PLAN. There is an online group for JWs that have adopted. Recent additions on that group have come home from China, Ethiopia, and Guatemala.

Melissa in Oregon

[milli1]

Thanks for the help. Do you know the site for the Witnesses who have adopted cause I always end up here when I search.? We all need to hang in there, the end result will be a safe and loving home for that child.

[khall202]

We are also JW's. I have so many questions for you! we have just began this journey and I am terrifyed that it will be near impossible because of the blood issue. is that the only problem you have encountered?

[Jannyroo]

Originally Posted by milli1

Hello Everyone, New here and I've noticed there isn't any Jehovahs Witnesses here. Is there any and have you been able to adopt? I am trying to but have run into issues with local adoption agency about the blood issue. I am anxious to get answers. I know Witnesses have been able to adopt and hope they will share their experience with others.

Are you able to make an appointment with the agency either/or with elders (hospital liaison committee elders?) to discuss so that they can see that we actually are very pro-active in the field of medecine and alternatives. Perhaps give them the opportunity to ask the elders anything. HLC elders are great at dealing with emotive issues, and as you are would be adoptive parents, it would be hard not to feel deeply emotional over such a sensitive subject as adopting.

So many people are left that need to know that we are actually pioneers in the field of non blood management and many hospitals are actually grateful for the alternatives, because of the very real threat of litigation etc.

Once the agency sees how reasonable we are, perhaps it will allay any fears on that score. Obviously I don't know which part of the world you are in, but HLC have had huge successes around the world, so perhaps it may be time to get some input into overcoming any prejudices/fears.

Another thought is if you took some of the DVD's designed for professionals for them to see? Transfusion alternative health care and No Blood - medecine meets the challenge?

[KC_photogirl]

I am a possible birthmother (baby due in May 2008) and I was raised a Witness. I am looking for a way to find witness families that want to adopt. I am so irritated that the adoption agencies don't allow witness to adopt. I would never let anyone else adopt my child. Does anyone here have an idea where I can go to search for a family or trying to adopt themselves?

[Jannyroo]

Originally Posted by KC_photogirl

I am a possible birthmother (baby due in May 2008) and I was raised a Witness. I am looking for a way to find witness families that want to adopt. I am so irritated that the adoption agencies don't allow witness to adopt. I would never let anyone else adopt my child. Does anyone here have an idea where I can go to search for a family or trying to adopt themselves?

You haven't said much about yourself or your situation, but if you have been raised by witnesses, whats happened that you would want to give your baby to another witness? is the parental help not there? or have you distanced yourself from them for whatever reason? Do they want you to let go of your child their grandchild? Will they help or is it that you don't want their help? Or is it they are not supporting you in this? I would be surprised with my experience of witnesses if this were true (I have been one for 23 years now) and also very sad, but please talk if you feel you can?

I wish I'd had the help that I know that witnesses give when I had my son. Closed adoption was my lot way back then and I wasn't a witness. I had studied a little bit, but I was very confused and pregnancy was something that completely bowled me over. I found myself not wanting to be pregnant but neither wanting an abortion, what the heck was I going to do? In hindsight, if I'd have stuck with the witnesses (I drifted for another 7 years before returning to studying and then going onto baptism) I would have been helped much more than my family who weren't witnesses - they didn't help whatsoever. I was totally alone.

Are you considering open adoption? Have you been able to talk this through with anyone? the long term effects on you, the effects on your baby? Adoption is not the happy ever ending route that most social workers envisaged 30 years ago, it brings up complex issues for both you as a birth mother and your child growing up without you.

Have you completely given up the faith that your parents raised with you and is that what is standing in the way of the decision you are trying to make? How old are you now? I only say this because if you change your mind and pursue being a witness in the future, how would you feel seeing your child at conventions with the witnesses you want to raise your child? I'm trying to get you to express yourself so that you don't make a decision that you (along with many birth mothers) can regret - giving a child to others is something that affects us for the rest of our lives. Even if they are witnesses, they are still strangers to your baby and definitely genetic strangers.

Have you read 'The Primal Wound' and 'Coming Home To Self' by Nancy Newton Verrier as to how adoption affects children as they grow up trying to come to terms with adoption, growing up without you? How it affects you?

How much counselling, help have you had? I only say this because I detect a hint of uncertainty as to the direction you say you want to go in - "possible birth mother".

With regard to adoption agencies, there should be no religious discrimination. I think a few posts on this thread mention how they have adopted and there is an email address too which you may have already tried.

I hope whatever decision you make turns out to be the right one for you. Dont rush into it and don't be swayed by others opinions. Just because you don't want to pursue your parents faith and that may leave you feeling vulnerable and wanting to satisfy other's ideas of what you should do rather than what is right for you. PM me if you want to.

[KC_photogirl]

I am very confused as to what I should do. I was raised a witness but have drifted for about 8 years now. I want to go back badly but have found myself pregnant now. My family is not speaking with me. The father doesn't want anything to do with it and I find myself very alone. I am just so confused

[Juliana13]

Originally Posted by KC_photogirl

I am very confused as to what I should do. I was raised a witness but have drifted for about 8 years now. I want to go back badly but have found myself pregnant now. My family is not speaking with me. The father doesn't want anything to do with it and I find myself very alone. I am just so confused

A few unsolicited thoughts here - I am not a member of your faith, but do have respect for your situation. You have time. Make sure this is what is right for you. Consider all of your options, and all of your support systems. Maybe begin speaking to your family, if they are open to it. You are still their child, and hopefully they can be open to supporting you through this. Once you place your child for adoption (if you do), you cannot go back. It is forever. So before you do what will probably be a very painful and extremely difficult thing, make sure it is what is best for you and your child.

That said, I am an adoptive parent, and I feel that adoption is a beautiful thing, when it is right for you. I receive strength and comfort, and even confidence in my role as a mother due to the fact that I know that the birthmothers of my children were at peace with their decisions, and do not regret their choice. They prayed, pondered, listened, and made the choice that would bring them peace. Untold pain, yes, but also peace.

Jannyroo had some good thoughts for you to consider. Take care of yourself, take time to figure things out, and make a decision out of love and confidence, not confusion and fear. A counselor is a great idea. If you are interested in returning to the faith you were raised in, which it sounded like you were, then a counselor within your faith might be a good idea. They will know better the spiritual struggles and other issues and questions unique to your situation.

Most of all, remember that God loves you fiercely. He wants what is best for you and your child. What's that chapter - in Isaiah, Chapter 9 I think - Where the Israelites are, well, basically idiots. Insert us -we can ignore him, disobey him, whatever, "For all this His anger is not turned away, but His hand is stretched out still." We just need to take it. If we do the best we can - even if we have made mistakes in the past, he will support us. He loves you.

There will be many people willing to give you their opinion on what you "should" do, and how it "will" affect your and your child's life. The truth is, there is no way to know for sure what the future holds, either way, for either of you. There is a wide variety of experiences. The one for sure, though, is that there will be pain and heartache - either way, (and grief and loss if you place). But, if you take the time to figure out what is right for you, you won't have that regret. Difficulty, sure, but not the bitter regret. You may choose to parent your child, and some people will think you've made the wrong choice. You may choose adoption for your child, and other people will think you've made the wrong choice. The only way to find peace through the years to come is to take the time to feel and discover what your heart and God are telling you about what is right for you and this baby. Either choice is courageous, either choice is love, you just have to find your own path.

My heart goes out to you. Good luck.

[Jannyroo]

Originally Posted by KC_photogirl

I am very confused as to what I should do. I was raised a witness but have drifted for about 8 years now. I want to go back badly but have found myself pregnant now. My family is not speaking with me. The father doesn't want anything to do with it and I find myself very alone. I am just so confused

I think you may well feel better by approaching elders of any local congregation that you feel comfortable with. If your family are not speaking to you, perhaps leave it for now. You need to get as much emotional support as you can, so I suggest that you approach the elders to say how much you want to come back and perhaps only go through them now until you are more sure of your and your parents emotional temperature. Perhaps there has been many hurt words exchanged and neither of you are ready, but perhaps reconciliation is ahead of you. I don't know the personalities of your parents, but I would hope that in time they would be loving and forgiving, but obviously I don't know what water has gone under the bridge so to speak and how raw you all are with each other.

Even if, EVEN IF your parents still turn their back on you despite any attempts to sort things out, you may be pregnant, but you need emotional comfort and support and guidance and HELP. I have seen Jehovah's witnesses that have made mistakes, gotten pregnant - and they have the love and support of the congregation. Sisters in the congregation will help you with your baby.

If by the time you are ready to go back to meetings and mix with your chosen congregation and ease yourself (and I emphasise, ease, as you must be feeling pretty rough at the minute) into your congregation (you choose which one you want to go to, perhaps a new start away from your parents may be the way to go for a while at least, again you choose), then let the brothers and sisters take care of you and strengthen you spiritually too.

If you want to talk, you can PM me and I will give you my email address. For the minute, don't make any decisions about your baby. I wish I'd have had the help of brothers and sisters, but like you I was very vulnerable. Please don't feel that you will go this alone. I have seen the help given by so many witnesses to people that have serious problems with drugs, alcohol, etc. Having a baby and raising your child alone is tough, but you will not be alone.

I wasn't part of the faith back then and when I see the help that unmarried pregnant JW's get, my heart aches, but at the same time, I'm glad that they have gotten the help that wasn't available to me all those years back (29 now).

I hope this helps.

[vicki723]

I am a jehovahs witness and i am in the process of adopting a have had nothing but good feed back my adoption worker says she find us to be of good morals

[kiplingmom]

Despite what we read about being asked about every aspect of our life in the homestudy, we were never asked about our religious beliefs or affiliation. We are currently adopting from Guatemala, and nowhere in our file does it mention our religion.

I had heard about a young woman out west that was pregnant and wanted to place her baby with a JW family. The agency she went to said JW have a hard time adopting b/c birthmothers often change their mind, not wanting their child to miss out on holidays and due to the blood issue.

We would love to adopt a second child, but with the uncertainties of future of Guatemalan adoptions, and our apprehension toward domestic adoptions, not sure what we will do. I guess keep praying!!!

[Mommy24]

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