[Umbilical child]

Quote: Adopting a Child in Islam

Islamic legal rulings about foster parenting and adoption
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once said that a person who cares for an orphaned child will be in Paradise with him, and motioned to show that they would be as close as two fingers of a single hand. An orphan himself, Muhammad paid special attention to the care of children. He himself adopted a former slave and raised him with the same care as if he were his own son.

However, the Qur'an gives specific rules about the legal relationship between a child and his/her adoptive family. The child's biological family is never hidden; their ties to the child are never severed. The Qur'an specifically reminds adoptive parents that they are not the child's biological parents:

"...Nor has He made your adopted sons your (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you) the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call them by (the names of) their fathers; that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not their father's (names, call them) your brothers in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame on you if you make a mistake therein. (What counts is) the intention of your hearts. And Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful."

(Qur'an 33:4-5)

The guardian/child relationship has specific rules under Islamic law, which render the relationship a bit different than what is common adoption practice today. The Islamic term for what is commonly called adoption is kafala, which comes from a word that means "to feed." In essence, it describes more of a foster-parent relationship. Some of the rules in Islam surrounding this relationship:

An adopted child retains his or her own biological family name (surname) and does not change his or her name to match that of the adoptive family.
An adopted child inherits from his or her biological parents, not automatically from the adoptive parents.
When the child is grown, members of the adoptive family are not considered blood relatives, and are therefore not muhrim to him or her. "Muhrim" refers to a specific legal relationship that regulates marriage and other aspects of life. Essentially, members of the adoptive family would be permissible as possible marriage partners, and rules of modesty exist between the grown child and adoptive family members of the opposite sex.
If the child is provided with property/wealth from the biological family, adoptive parents are commanded to take care and not intermingle that property/wealth with their own. They serve merely as trustees.
These Islamic rules emphasize to the adoptive family that they are not taking the place of the biological family -- they are trustees and caretakers of someone else's child. Their role is very clearly defined, but nevertheless very valued and important.

It is also important to note that in Islam, the extended family network is vast and very strong. It is rare for a child to be completely orphaned, without a single family member to care for him or her. Islam places a great emphasis on the ties of kinship -- a completely abandoned child is practically unheard of. Islamic law would place an emphasis on locating a relative to care for the child, before allowing someone outside of the family, much less the community or country, to adopt and remove the child from his or her familial, cultural, and religious roots. This is especially important during times of war, famine, or economic crisis -- when families may be temporarily uprooted or divided.

Very balanced and civilized.....

[hello&goodbye]

I hope you were being sacastic.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Well... WAS that sarcastic?? It DOES seem balanced and civilized to me.... ?!?!?

Ok... umbilical child we need a either a smile.. or a rolleyes smiley here to let us know the meaning....

[hello&goodbye]

So, a child grows up in a family, always to be reminded that they do not belong, that they are not a part of the family. And that the "adoptive" family is just doing them a really, really big favour. sounds cruel to me. Where is the compassion for the child? where does the child belong. "Sorry kid, Im not gonna raise you, someone else will, butthey arenot your family, your family is abandoning you" Where is the best interest of the child? sounds like best interest for the bparents. Now I know why some groups do not adopt, it is not in their hearts.Nothing balanced & civilized to me.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Well that isnt what it said... it said that they first try to have them adopted within the family.. if that cant happen they are placed with a family to raise the child.. but do not lie to the child about his or her identity or shirk them their birthright....

In a collectivist culture your concern is not really something that materializes very much... people are concerned about and take care of the whole community..

It isnt like it is here where it is an individual -- everyone fend for yourself-- community.

So you have to look at it through their enculturation... family and community first... not the individual...

[mn125]

While I was in attendance of A March (on Washington, DC) for Unity and Civil Rights in Adoption, and listening to the speakers at the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, a passerby stopped and listened for a few minutes. He asked if he could say a few words to the crowd...
He told us of the wording in the Qur'an and how the child kept the original family name. He said he really didn't understand why our state laws and sealed records "bar" a child from his original family knowledge. That was the first time I had heard about this kind of practice. I thought it was a wonderful idea!!!!!

A year or so ago, I worked for a short time with a young lady that practices Islam faith. She was very interested in hearing my adoption search trials and tribulations LOL. She had me tell her every detail of what I had to go thru to get my OBC, and gather info on my original family. Then, she told me about the Qur'an too. I loved the captive audience, and her <gasps> of shock and outrage at our legislators who claim to know what is in Our best interest. I convinced her to write a couple of letters to those who serve us so well!

No More Secrets- No More Lies!

[hello&goodbye]

Sorry,


I still believe that it is paramount for a child to feel like they belong. This reminds them every day, that the "adoptive parents" are just doing them a really big favour. Adoption is not a four letter word. Not all adoptees are angry at their birthmother or the system. Some of us are grateful for the choices made so many years ago. And would not have it any other way. Unconditional love means going all the way, no matter what, and every child deserves and must have unconditional love.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Sure... you are enculturated to feel that way; there is nothing wrong with that.. it is the way it is here. BUT-It is not like this everywhere -- only in individualistic cultures. We can sit around and disagree...but that is the way it is in that culture... they think some of the things that we do are down right wacky, too. Their way wouldnt work here... and our way wouldnt work there...

Not hiding ones identity doesnt mean they dont have unconditional love. You read it one way... but it isnt really what it means there.... knowing who you are and not attaching a false document/identity to a person doesnt mean they arent loved. On the contrary it SHOULD come across as TOTAL love and respect... because rather than turning the child into something THEY want it is accepting him or her as is, with open arms...

Just another way to look at it.

[Leigh131313]

being non-islamic myself....I dont really care.


This just confirms that Islam will never be the religion for me... (that was for you christine)

[SchmennaLeigh]

Aruging right or wrong when it comes to someone else's culture is kind of silly. Of course they view it as right. And as long as they aren't hanging children by their toenails, I don't see what the problem is.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Well yeah... I think I was talking more collectivist than Islamic... it is just an example of more collectivist.. most all collectivist cultures have this same type of view.

Mohammed was raised by his uncle as his own when his parents died... but really when he founded the religion it was about going back to the Jewish law that was being deviated from... THEN taken to the extreme. The area had become more christian/jewish and as he felt, corrupt. His goal was to bring back morality... just today it is to the extreme because the christians have always tried to push them around. It really originally isnt about religion against religion...but the fact that the christians keep trying to take them over and control them.

Just giving insight... this isnt only an Islamic view.. that just happens to be a more collectivist (non-western) culture. You'll find it a lot in asia, africa and other collectivist areas, too -- where your family, your name, your group, your community IS who you are.

[hello&goodbye]

Sorry

A child still needs a sense of belonging. Being put to the side that they do not really belong does not help. I feel it would be very sad for the child, because it is not their best interest that come first, it is the adults that come first, however no a days it seems the adults come first here in our culture too.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

I dont think that adults come first there at all...

What a child needs differs by the community that they grow up in... so it isnt a universal statement. The basics yes.. food..shelter..clothing.. love... but beyond that it depends on the societal norms.

[hello&goodbye]

Actually, it is MEN who come first in that society, and men are supposed to be considered adults. And I am not speaking a religion, I am speaking of culture. Women, and by extention children are treated as dirt, and do not condecend me my telling me I just don't understand the differences, oh I do, I have friends of both sexes from there and I know what I speak of.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Thank goodness you clarified that. Not sure why you are getting so mean... but ok.

All Im saying is that western cultures think they are right.. eastern cultures think they are... indigenous.. well it goes on. But of course our culture wouldnt be right there.. and theirs wouldnt be right here... It is all just different...