[Padre]

We adopted our son two years ago after having him for two years as a fosterchild. At the time we were asked about an open adoption. It was all new to us so we started meeting with the father (who had asked us to adopt when the state was going to return his son back to him). He wanted everthing but the responsibility. I then informed him this was not a "divorce" between us. We ended up with one letter a year and two 15 minitue visits. That also would be at our discretion. As things worked out, the father last seen Anthony last Christmas. Anthony does visit his aunt (father's sister) and things has worked out on their own.
I know their are many stories about open adoption both good and bad. I think the most important thing a person should know is the other person correct definition of the word "open"

[SchmennaLeigh]

Fully open includes any/all modes of contact including visits.
Semi-open/semi-closed just involves letters or other non-visiting modes of contact.

He wanted everthing but the responsibility.

That's awfully offensive and a big myth in adoption/open adoption.

[StorkWatcher]

Our agency's definition was basically that open refers to situations where each party (birth family and adoptive family) has identifying information on each other and can contact them directly.

Semi-open is where contact is made through a mediary (usually the agency). In our case, we each know first names of the other party, but letters are sent to the agency then forwarded on from there. We don't know last names/where each lives, etc.

[HappyTwinsMom]

Regardless of what our individual definitions of "open" are, it's important that all the parties understand each other's thinking. Even little differences in meaning can cause huge amounts of pain if we don't communicate clearly enough.

[Padre]

As I said, it has worked out for us. We had seen the father 2-3 times a week for 2 1/2 years before the adoption. We had a good idea on what he was thinking. The state of Washington was our agency and they let us make the final decision.