[Archive]

Originally Posted By Alyssa'smommy70401

Hi everyone! I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a little
bit about me. I got pregnant in October of 2000 during my freshman
year of college. My boyfriend and I were at different schools and I
was very scared as to what I should do. I went to Catholic schools
my whole life, so I knew I couldn't have an abortion. Well, my
daughter Alyssa Rose was born July 4th, 2001. I didn't want to give
her up for adoption, but it felt like everyone and everything was
against me keeping her. My family wouldn't have supported me and my
boyfriend didn't want me to keep her because he thought "It wasn't
what was best for her." We had picked out a family before Alyssa was
born but had never told the family because I wasn't sure that was
what I wanted. Well, after I brought her home from the hospital I
went to live with my boyfriend because I knew my parents wouldn't let
me live with them. My parents started cutting me off from the family
and they called my boyfriend's house multiple times a day telling me
how horrible of a person I was for even considering keeping her. I
eventually gave into everyone else's pressure and after 12 days,
gave her up for adoption. I never wanted to do it in the first place
and after I signed the papers, I felt bad about wanting to change my
mind because of everything the family we gave her to had already been
through. I've wanted her back and hated myself and everyone else who
I felt left me no other options and gave me no support since the day
I signed the papers. I only wish I could have stood up for what I
really wanted and then maybe today I wouldn't be hating myself for
it. If I had to go back in time, I would NEVER make that same
decision. If anyone ever needs to talk, please e-mail me at mmolso00@smumn.edu

[jeniferL7]

I had a completely different experience. The thing is... if you aren't okay with your decision before placing her/him... then it shouldn't be done. As with any decision. That is how regret comes around. With my decision... I stick by it... it has been 7 years... and I had an open adoption. I get pictures 2 times a year... and I was able to interview and pick the family I felt was best for her. I had no support for her or myself during that time.... and only being 17, know her dad wasn't in the immediate picture... my family wasn't supportive of me keeping her.... I made the decision that was best for her. Placing a child is the most unselfish decision you could ever make! Giving that child a chance at having 2 full-time parents, and a loving family surrounding them... it's the best gift you can give a child! Even now when I am doing well financially, I take comfort in knowing that it was the best decision at the time... and remains so today! I hope that in time, you are able to heal, and understand that what you did took courage! Whether you feel it or not... placing a child for adoption takes a very strong woman! A woman who's instict is to keep the child... and take care of it! But you did take care of her... the best way you could! I wish you all the best!
Jenifer

[annelizly]

as an adoptee I have to say I feel so sad for you!! I sooooo wish that you could have kept your baby!! This is my pet peeve with the system!! If a woman or girl so chooses to keep her baby, then all these religeous pro lifers should put their money and energy where their mouths are and come up with a way to help someone like you afford to keep your child!! There is so much more that could have always been done. we know that with pressure from parents and boyfriend, that the mother is alone and usually without money or home. I feel that if we give a temporary home and education and childcare we could build happy healthy , successful families for those who would like to keep their children!! Do you have a time limit for changing your mind??

[TrinityAngel]

Originally Posted by annelizly

Do you have a time limit for changing your mind??

If there is a time limit, it would of been up a long time ago for the original poster. This thread is going on to be 3 years old.

[Mindy82]

?then all these religeous pro lifers should put their money and energy where their mouths are and come up with a way to help someone like you afford to keep your child!!"

I don't believe it's up to them to take care of your problem.

[Mommy24]

Mindy that was a pretty insensitive comment. I agree that we should educate all potential birthparents on ways of being able to parent. How I wish I could financially help just one expectant mom who wanted to parent but felt that she couldnt financially do it at the time, oh but the real world stinks!!

[Mindy82]

I didn't mean it to be hurtful, and I agree that help is awesome, and could really turn someone's life around, but I don't believe that just because someone doesn't believe in abortion, that they should feel obligated to help a mom financially or any other way... I on the other hand would, but i don't believe it's anyone's responsability but the mom's...