[AshleighM]

I am a Bmom with an open adoption, however I only wanted pics and letter communication until she turned 18. I am one of very few bmoms who was very determined to make this decision especially with the parents I was able to choose. They are great to her and still wouldn't change it for the world, however I haven't received anything for over 5 years. I am unable to contact them directly and have to go through the agency, however it seems each time I call they tell me there isn't anything in the folder they will call the aparents but never return my call and kept giving me the run around.
After a year I was finally able to talk to someone who told me that she was fine, her new brothers bparents send her presents for all holidays, there are always pics for the bparents for him and they can't tell me why there aren't any for me.
I asked the lady there if they had recieved what I had sent and they said they haven't received anything for a long time and that they are comfortable with the way things are. She hung the phone up, of course I called back, but to get her saying to stop calling.
Can they legally do that? Just stop all communication and not give any of my letters and not send any pics as stated in the agreement?
My heart is broken because I am so very happy with the decision I made, but for everyone to treat me like I'm some kind of villian is just not right.

[dklevy]

I don't have much advise for you but I do have a lot of sympathy. My daughter's parents held up to the deal to have contact for the first 5 years but I've heard nothing in the last 6. It took 2 weeks to get any response from the agency a few years ago and was assured that they were still getting her packages. [ My husband had left again and I was a single mom working at Kmart. I told the agency that nothing would cause me to stop sending gifts if she was getting them but I couldn't afford to but things to sit in an agency box. ] Then about a month ago I emailed the agency and was all but ignored. That's when I decided to find them and send a letter directly. Do you have any information to be able to locate them? I know it helped me to know that they got what I sent and not rely on a middle man that I now feel betrayed by. From what I've read on here, us birthmoms are more or less at the mercy of the agency and the adoptive parents. Wish I had better advise...

[bromanchik]

Do you know their names so you can contact them directly. I really dislike the agency as mediator. They have no vested interest in encouraging or maintaining contact. (i.e. they don't get paid to intervene, so you are usually their last priority) For all you know the agency told them something inaccurate about you and that's why the pictures stopped. I would try direct communication.

[AshleighM]

The person I use to talk to everytime I called the agency was always helpful, it wasn't until this new woman started working there that her calls would get screened. Once I found out this new woman never gave her the many messages I had left. Now the person I always spoke to isn't working there anymore.

I remember their first names and the type of business they were in but I don't remember their last names. The paperwork has since been lost because I have moved a couple of times. My father tells me to just wait until she's 18 and break my promise to them, they can't deny anything to me then and just show up at their door. (My promise to them was I would contact them when she turns 18 but not her directly because I didn't want anything to interfere with her plans for college) My promise was out of respect. My father said "They show you no respect, go tell her how you were treated, take pics of everything you send from here on out to show her, make copies of letters, etc so there can be no dispute about it."
I just think I'm more jealous of the fact they have no problem with their youngest sons bparents and the reality that they would have never been able to adopt him if I hadn't allowed them to adopt my daughter first!