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Originally Posted By birthmomjamie

i have an 8yr. old birthdaughter.the agreement was pictures,phonecalls gifts,so it was semi open.the adopt.mom let me see her at age 1. she said comments like ,i hope she doesnt want to live with your family instead of us.on the 8th visit when she was 3 1/2 i was going to tell her i feel she is uncomfortable and should we end visiting now so she doesnt get hurt later.my son was becoming friends with her and her older adoptive daughter.she asked me to babysit for the weekend so i figured it was my imagination that she didnt really like visiting.then her husband calls and says he doesnt want his kids alone with me.so i ended visits.i still call and the mom tells me how she doesnt like her first birthmom even though she doesnt know her well,andhasnt had contact since the girl was 9mths old.i expressed anger when she said my birthd.wanted to see me a year ago and she might do it,and then said no.i want to patch things up and have open adoption again but feel like she is sick of me. i feel horrible about my adopt.but i know my child is happy.what would u do if anything?

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Originally Posted By ChristineM.

I think that it sounds like the big thing is that the adoptive parents are insecure.If you want to open the adoption back up, then probably your best bet is to reassure them that they are wonderful parents and that you made the right decision.Make sure they know (no matter how hard it is for you) that although you would like to see, and have a relationship with your Birthdaughter, you would never interfere with them....they are her parents and thats how it will always be. Your place is to be there as their friend and hers. Make them secure that thats all you want. And take the time to develope the relationship...and FRIENDSHIP with them before rushing into it..good luck jamie!!!

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Originally Posted By bmomjamie w/update

i read THE SPIRIT OF OPEN ADOPT and sent it to the a.parents.they called back and said they are in the middle of reading it.the a.mom said if my b.daughter wants to see me she will let her.she said she will even ask her if she wants to see me over the years.we had a long talk and i felt more understood and less like they just dont want to be bothered with me,so even though she says my b.daughter says no for visits,i still feel better from talking.i have my hopes up again even though i shouldnt have them up prob.thanks to whoever read my story during my down time!