[mckay]

I am leading a "lifegroup" (bible study) adoption support group in our church and one of my families wants to adopt an older child or sibling group. They do not want to have to go through being foster parents first, they want to adopt and not have their children taken away and returned to the birthparents. DSS is telling them they need to be foster/adopt parents first for children in this area- Does anyone know of an agency or facilitator that could help this family. Money is an issue, as it is with many of us, but these are very nice, Christian people wanting to create a family, and willing to open their hearts to older children. Please let me know if you have any ideas. Please e-mail me at mckay@twave.net- Thank you

[momof4too]

We are not in NC, but if your friends are wanting to adopt a "waiting child", I suggest that they talk with their legislators if someone at the state agency told them they have to foster first. That is crazy. All states are ACHING for people to come forward to adopt older kids, as well as to foster them. (They may have to complete foster or adoption training however, even if they are seasoned parents.)

We applied for older child adoption making it clear that our intent was not to foster, but to adopt. We have had no trouble with that. We used a non-profit agency, and they worked with the state to match us with a waiting child who became a part of our family approx. nine months after we began the process. (Not unlike our bio kids!)

Our understanding is that if you are looking for babies or very young children, that fostering is the surest way to get "first refusal" when parental rights are severed. Like your friends, we were looking for older children (7 and up). These children are harder to place. However, we were also not interested in referrals of children for whom the parental rights were not severed.

While we continue legally to be our child's foster parents until the adoption is finalized, there has never been a question of our intent or the intent of the state that this be adoption and not a foster placement.

[momof4too]

I just re-read your post and realized that I may have missed something in my earlier reply: You said, "DSS is telling them they need to be foster/adopt parents first for children in this area- "

That rang a bell. Maybe your state's DSS program works like the one here: Our agency works in concert with the state agency to place waiting children in families. Therefore, our homestudy was done at no charge to us. (hooray) The flip side of that however, is that we don't get a copy of the homestudy (although we were allowed to read it before it was sent out) AND we were asked to wait a minimum of six months before looking for children outside our state. The deal is that a state get federal dollars when it places a child. If they cover the cost of our homestudy, but another state gets a child adopted, those dollars are "lost" (my term) to the adoptive parents' state, and they still don't have one of their children placed. (A wider view of adoption practice might say that children are children and money is money, and whenever a child is adopted by a qualified waiting family, that is a good thing, but alas, everyone is counting dollars.)

Hope this is helpful

[Georgia Mom]

I am under the impression that in virtually every state, that even if your only intent is to adopt, you have to be classified as a foster family first. That does not mean you will be fostering scores of children, only the child or siblings you have targeted. However, even when your child is placed with you, the adoption is not final instantly. The usual supervisory period is 6 months. During that time, the family and children are making sure they are a good "fit", and DSS continues to monitor, usually with monthly visits by a caseworker. During this time period, you are not the child's legal parents, because you have not finalized the adoption yet. So your classification is foster parent. I don't think there is any way around that if you adopt through the state. Money should not be an issue. The state does homestudies at no charge, and the only up front cost would be for the attorney chosen to handle the finalization. And those costs are re-imbursable up to $2000. If they have to travel to visit the child, those costs are also re-imbursable under the same "non-recurring expense" category. (same $2000 cap, total) Have your friends go to this website, and they can view a lot of the children available for adoption in N.C. They can have their caseworker contact the child's worker and get the ball rolling if they see a child or children they are interested in. http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dss/adopt/steps.html

[Leah@Mandala]

I live in North Carolina and was a foster parent for several years. It was not required of me to be a foster parent in order to adopt an older child in the foster care system, however the training required was the same as fostering. We were strongly encouraged to become foster parents even though we were looking to adopt only. It was beneficial in helping with the costs of our older children's therapy which can be quite expensive when dealing with attachment issues!
Leah

[addielee]

I live in North Carolina, have been a licensed foster parent and am now getting an adoptive homestudy done through the Children's Home Society of North Carolina (out of Greensboro). It is not necessary to foster in order to adopt (though in some cases, it might be advisable).

In fact, I've called two different states about children listed on www.adoptuskids.org and, the social workers were very interested in talking with me and encouraged me to have my homestudy updated (something that's a MUST in adoption).

It would be worth this family's time and effort to contact the Children's Home Society in Greensboro, whether pursuing fosterparenting or adoption.

Best wishes!

[addielee]

Lucyjoy, you had the correct terminology I was looking for! The Children's Home Society of North Carolina does just that- contracts with other agencies, including the state, to place children in adoptive homes. Actually, the also have a foster-adopt program but you do not have to foster in order to adopt.

[rindava]

I paid for my homestudy through a private agency and was then reimbursed for all expenses. Many other states will do this. Also, they may have to take the classes and pay, 1000-2000, but it is worth saving yourself the heart break of foster parenting. NC has always been a good place to adopt (I am in VA, and the let me list there and I did get some call backs.) I did not adopt from them.

I did this time have to call every agency in the phone book to find one that would do a foster kid adoption home study as most would not (Out of the 15 or so in our community, only 3 were willing to do that kind of homestudy.) If they are African American, or you know any one who is African American who wants to adopt, I saw this special on the NC PBS station of a new push for them to adopt and there are a lot of programs in place. If not, keep trying, call the state department. I get the run around here all the time, but if you keep at it, you can find a way. They might have to take the classes, but there is no federal law saying (or state) that they have to foster.

[Happy]

I am in NC and we are adopting as well. You do NOT need to foster first. Our case worker reccommended doing foster-adopt because it just opened up the pool of available children to us to include those for which TPR is not yet complete. However, we don't HAVE to do it that way. We could just have easily done straight adoption. We are near Asheville and are adopting through Adoption Plus, the adoption part of Professional parenting. They are a state-liscenced private agency that was originally started through Appalachian State University. They are fantastic to work with. Everything is FREE. They also have offices in Winston-salem, if that is closer to you. I highly recommend them as they are professional, honest, and hard working. Feel free to email me for more info on this agency if interested at:
lapazfarm@earthlink.net
Happy