[jehicks]

I am a teacher at a school for children with emotional/behavioral difficulties. My wife and I are adopting one of my students (he will no longer be my student on June 24th). My wife works at the school as well as a behavioral interventionist. He knows both of us, and we know him well, love him to pieces, and are positive we are going to adopt him. He will not find out until June 24th, he also does not know that my wife and I are together, and we are picking him up for dinner after he is told. This is a 13 yr old child with severe abuse and neglect. He has been in residential care for 5 years. We want to promote attachment, and for him to know that we will always be there, and we dont want to overwhelm him. Any adivce for this initial visit? What are some of the things you sad to your child when you knew you were going to adopt them?

[Mkuhlmann06]

I would cross post this under special needs adoption. There are a lot of adoptive parents that have experience with attachment issues and older children adoption. There are also a few teachers on the board that have had students placed with them (either as foster or adoptive) that may be able to give some advice on how to transition from that role to a parental one.

As for my two cents about the visit - although you guys already all know each other don't jump the gun too much. I would treat it as any other first time visit. Bring a scrapbook with pictures of your house, family, neighbors, pets, etc. Do a simple activity, like playing uno or a boardgame. Don't bring gifts.

Good luck and keep us all posted!