[TheMomma08]

I have a unique story.

I am a single mom with 3 kids ages 22,19 and 13. My 13 year old has been talking me into adopting her best friend that is in foster care since the beginning of the school year. I feel led to adopt these boys.

I couldn't stand the thought of splitting the boys up. These boys have been adopoted out once, were abused, and placed back into foster care.


I have taken care of the registration, medical check, pet check, finger prints and Police report. I still have to take the classes and get a house check.


I have been getting mixed responses from friends and family. Some call me an angel, some think I have lost my mind, and some tell me that I don't know what I'm getting myself into.


Is there anyone else that has been in my shoes?

[lucyjoy]

You need to be sure you have a good history on the boys. Why were they placed in foster care? What is their early history? Why did their first adoption dissolve-was their abuse proof or was is possibly a false claim?
(These are questions YOU need answers for, I'm not asking for infromation)

Are you able to talk with the boys current foster parents? Do they feel the boys have attached to them?
Are both boys currently placed together?

All of these things factor into what you might expect. I would recommend reading Greg Keck's Adopting the Hurt Child and Parenting the Hurt Child to give you some insight into what types of things you may encounter and why.

Good luck.

[TheMomma08]

Thank you for your advise. I will get those books.

[marythemom]

I personally would be very concerned about having teen boys around my young daughter. My adopted son is almost 15 and I'm pretty fanatical about supervising him around my biodaughter who is almost 12. Another concern, although he is much better now, after the honeymoon period wore off he became very aggressive and physically attacked my husband and intimidated the whole family. Many children from foster care have major issues with mother figures too. Puberty can also bring out a lot of issues.

Ask a lot of questions! Then ask more! Many of my children's issues didn't come out in foster care. PM me if you want the list I used to ask questions of the foster parents.

Mary
mom to bioson T(9), biodaughter K(almost 12)
adoptive placement of a sibling pair 11/06!
finalized H(13) adoption 3/08!
Hope to finalize on her brother D(almost 15) this summer.

[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']“And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” [/font]JK Rowlings