[Bippette]

We left a set of car keys for our SUV with J this weekend incase he had trouble with his old car. We told him to drive it only in an emergency. As we were pulling into the driveway tonight, he was coming from the opposite direction...you guessed it....driving the t. I did not chew him out, but told him I'd said for emergencies only. He just thinks he doesn't have to abide by any rules.

That was at 4pm. By 4:30pm he'd left again. He won't be back until curfew tonight...probably 3am or so. I tried to ask him about his big weekend while I was gone. I got single or double word answers for the most part. He said his Gp gave him cash, but he refused to tell me how much. He said he was going out on a date tonight with a girl, but again wouldn't tell us who. He makes me feel like a pest or an inconvience for being interested in him.

The dynamics of our relationship with him and his family is getting ready to change yet again. He has a younger full sister who is 16. She was living in a great foster home in a nearby city. She elected to move out the Friday before Christmas to move into an apartment at a Children's home with several other girls. Like J, doing her best to run away from family and people who care. In this apartment there are no adults, but people do check on them several times a day. So this has given her alot more freedom. And J will be able to see her alot more easily. While she was in the foster home, J was prevented from seeing her by court order until he gave them a clean UA. And he obviously didn't/wouldn't do that.

So anyway. He brought her to our house last night while we were gone. He did call and ask. I said it was okay as long as it was within "the rules". She was gone before we got home, so we didn't get a chance to meet her. I think she'll be coming for weekend visits often.

I'm not completely sure how I feel about that. J told me that they used to smoke marijuana together. So I hope that they'll feed each other positively not tear each other down. It may also interfer with his bonding with our family. His sister A is the only person in the world that he'll admit to loving or caring about. If he has her in his life more, he may not work on bonding with us as much.

Either way I can't do much about it. I hope she'll become a part of our family too, and that will cement him to us. Either that will happen, or she'll draw him away from us.

One good thing is that J's dog really, really seems to like me and want my attention, even if his owner does not!!!

[athikers]

If his sister is the only person he feels he loves or is bonded too, then I think its in everyone's best interest for that bond to remain and for you to help him nurture it. Obviously, his younger sister needs guidance too... and, as if you don't have a housefull!!!! you can help provide that.

[Bippette]

That's the plan if she'll allow it and they don't become self-destructive while together.

We'd also talked about re-instating our Foster Care license so that she could live with us next school year. But she's going to give this apartment thing a try first. I just hate to think of a kid that young out on her own.

Its become a family joke the amount of kids we now have in our house at any give time. We've always got our 4 or 5 home. Then the next door neighbor girl is an only child who is the same age as my older two. She's almost always over here. Then when J is here, there's almost always a boy or two with him. I never know who I'll find sleeping on my couch in the mornings.

We are beginning to feel like we feed half the county!!! But I'm not complaining I like having them here. :0)

I asked J if his sister liked our house. He said "Yeah, but what she liked most was the fridge."