[ouska]

Hi, I have a question concerning adopting out of state. If you are chosen for a child out of state. How many visits are usally required before you may bring them home to live with you. I was told that you have to go to that state to be finalized. I'm just trying to get a feel for what to expect. Thanks for any information. I'm in Va. Looking in West Virginia and Mass.

[marythemom]

I live in Texas and we were chosen for 2 older children in Nebraska. We went to meet them for the first time over the Labor Day weekend. It was love at first sight all around (the girl, age 11, was calling us Mommy and Daddy on the second day). We had unsupervised visits for Friday evening (after meeting and dinner with the caseworker, GAL, therapist, foster parents, the 2 children, and our 2 biochildren!), all day Saturday and most of Sunday. They spent the nights elsewhere (the boy, age 13, lived in the town, the girl had to stay in respite care).

We aren't official yet, but it's my understanding that usually we would have at least one more visit (maybe meeting half way), and then a visit to go pick them up, but things went so well that they just want to place them in our home. That's what the kids want too. Now its up to the states, but we hope the next time we see them will be to pick them up and bring them home. We have a choice about where to do the finalization of the adoption - we're requesting Texas of course!

Basically I think it depends on the state, the kids, the caseworkers, et al. Maybe we're typical though? Hope that helps!

[Lylac]

It all depends on the child/childrens age/needs. It depends on the state, case worker, foster parents (yes some do have a BIG say in transition). It depends on if the child is medically fragile, there's so many things.
Each case is different, and there's no standard for any of it. We're waiting ICPC approval, the state that we are adopting from doesn't allow visits until ICPC is approved. They won't even set the transition plans up yet.We met our son 1 time, at the adoption staffing, which we had to travel there for.

Foster mom is wanting 2 visits, but we'll see what everyone agrees on.

[Michele81]

We live in PA & are planning our second visit with a 12 year old girl in Florida. We spent 4 days with her - the first about 2 hours, the second day with the group home members at a water park, then spent the next 2 days with her from 9 A - 10 P. This time we had to push but will be able to have her spend the entire time with her in our hotel - 4 days AND 4 nights! Then we were told that she'd have to come to PA for a third visit (she has significant special needs with which we're prepared to deal), which will be in late May. If things go well, she can probably stay with us from that point forward.

I also know of a couple who basically did two long WE visits with their child & brought her home - all within a 6-week time frame!