[WLD]

I go to this forum and it just doesn't seem as active and some of the others and that is disappointing to me since i adopted a 5 year old last year and would love to hear others advice/opinions, etc. So i decided to start a thread myself. First of all, i'm new to the adoption world, like i said i adopted last year, did't intend to adopt, actually my youngest bkid was a teenager and would be leaving the next soon and i was looking forward to the next phase of my life when we were approached regarding adopting this little boy that had been bounced around during his infancy and lived with extended bfamily members for the last 3 years. We didn't think he would do well in foster care so we adopted him. It is totally diffent in my household now but we love him as if he had been born there.

So what's your story?

[lena16]

Hi!

I haven't adopted yet but I am officially waiting to adopt a girl between ages 3 to 6 years old through the foster care system. So far two couples in my MAPP group have had placements (both under 1 year of age!). I am thrilled for them and their precious babies but I can't help but feel a little impatient for me. One hears that there are many waiting children that are older yet my CW has told me that there aren't that many little girls out there. So I wait and read the boards, enjoy spending time with my nieces, and dream of my future daughter. So this is my story and I too wish that this forum would be more active!

Lena

[frida_94601]

Hello I have not adopted yet, I was certified in february of 06. Now I have to go through maap with my fiancee. I have a pre-teen daughter. i am intrested in foster-adopt a sibling group 5-11 yrs old. It has been a long emotional roller coaster, but where still hanging on.

[kretzklan]

We adopted a 6 year old girl and 7 year old boy in November 2005 from Russia. They are not bio sibs and we have a 9 year old son as well. So, we went from 1 to 3 overnight and just now are things starting to feel a little normal - the new normal for us.

It was always our dream to give a home to older kids...and that dream came true.

[MtnMama]

Hi! My husband and I want to adopt a boy, age 6 to 9. We have a bio-son age 9 (10 in Sept). We've had our homestudy done since the end of Oct 05, and we finished our PRIDE classes in Nov 05. This has been a real roller coaster ride. We were interested in one boy that we saw on the state website. He sounded wonderful. It took months for our worker to get his worker to return her calls. Then she wanted us to take him, just like that! His worker made him sound wonderful. Then I called the foster mother and she had a totally different tale to tell. We were both just sick over it. We were even given a second chance at him about a month ago. Our worker said his worker called and wanted to know if we would reconsider. I could have probably been persuaded, but my husband said absolutely not. I'm sure he's right, but it's just hard. We've put in for other children, but it takes months to hear anything. The waiting is the worst part. We were told a few weeks ago that we were in the top 3 families for a boy, but they were going to put him back on the web for another month and chose again later. I think they're really looking for a family without any other children. That seems to be the biggest obstacle we face. They want so many of these kids to be the only or youngest child in the family. When we went into this, I thought there were so many children waiting for a home. Now it feels like we're in a competition.

[Belljo]

Originally Posted by WLD

I go to this forum and it just doesn't seem as active and some of the others and that is disappointing to me since i adopted a 5 year old last year and would love to hear others advice/opinions, etc. So i decided to start a thread myself. First of all, i'm new to the adoption world, like i said i adopted last year, did't intend to adopt, actually my youngest bkid was a teenager and would be leaving the next soon and i was looking forward to the next phase of my life when we were approached regarding adopting this little boy that had been bounced around during his infancy and lived with extended bfamily members for the last 3 years. We didn't think he would do well in foster care so we adopted him. It is totally diffent in my household now but we love him as if he had been born there.

So what's your story?

Hi am trying to adopt a 9 year old little boy and it is journey not for the faint of heart or weak of spirit. I found him on adopt us kids in march and have been approved to adopt him. I live in Md. he is in NJ. just talked with his social worker this week, finally, and trying to send paperwork to ICPC just waiting to hear.

[Belljo]

I know how you feel I applied and was accepted for a child in MI only to make plans to visit and be told the foster parents, after hearing about me decided to adopt him, I was crushed, but I had been approved for another child in NJ and although things are moving slowly they are moving at last

[WLD]

Wow, thanks for the responses. I hope they continue. It's nice to hear so many of you are trying to adopt older kids, maybe we can keep this thread more active. Too bad there is so much red tape when your heart just goes out to these kids that seem to be waiting so long for a family

[frida_94601]

Hello WLD,
Boiy are you right, this journey is so emotional. Like I stated before I am looking to adopt a child anywhere from 2-11 yrs old. I have submitted to sooo many I have already lost count, the children where from 4-11. Nothing yet. I am tired of my agency it is nothelping me at all.

[lvmykidz]

We just became certified as foster/adopt parents. I have 3 bio children - ages 13,10 and 8. My oldest son is in school with a 13yo boy that he knew wanted to be adopted. At the present time he lives in a group home - but we have had every other weekend visits since Easter and it looks hopeful that he will be here permantly in the next 2 weeks.
We had no plans of our own to adopt a child - but once God put M smack down in front of us - there was no turning back=0

[WLD]

Originally Posted by lvmykidz

We just became certified as foster/adopt parents. I have 3 bio children - ages 13,10 and 8. My oldest son is in school with a 13yo boy that he knew wanted to be adopted. At the present time he lives in a group home - but we have had every other weekend visits since Easter and it looks hopeful that he will be here permantly in the next 2 weeks.
We had no plans of our own to adopt a child - but once God put M smack down in front of us - there was no turning back=0

That does sound so similar to my situation. I've said before that we were not seeking to adopt but when it was presented we didn't run I hope everything works out well for ya. I'm sure the 13 yo will be happy to have a place to call home.

FRIDA - I'm sorry that you are having to deal with that. You would think it wouldn't be so dang hard when they are so many children that would want nothing more than a home and family that they can call their own.

BELLJO - Sorry that the first one fell through and hoping 'your' child in NJ will soon join you, hang in there.

I just wish that all of us that have so much love to give could be matched quicker to the kids who want so desperately to be loved. I know there are reasons that these things take time but it doesn't make it any easier and my heart goes out to all of you involved. I know in my situation, even though i didn't have plans to adopt, when it was presented, i thought the court day would never get here, even tho it took a lot less time than most, I kept wondering what i would do if something happened to jeopardize it. Emotional roller coaster indeed!

[frida_94601]

Hello, One of the promblems that I have seen well in my county that is. The profiles are just brief summarys, I learned this by trial and error. My agency has me look at profiles on a monthly basis of available children in certain counties, what they dont tell, you or my cw for that matter is that the majority of these children need a two parent family with mo other children, I understand the need of the children, but why have me submitt my homestudy when thier might be a possible placement elsewhere? ughhh.
Here is a question I hope you can help me with? While you where waiting to adopt? where you allowed just to foster with possibility of reunification with parents? just wondering? I had one emergency placement and a possible placement to do respite care? Can anyone tell me the length of time for respite care?
How is everyone doing today?

[KarynB]

Hello! I would love to join this discussion - our son was placed with us at age 3. He is now 7 - and boy, has it ever been a rollercoaster ride!!!! We are now waiting for a referral for child #3....

Anyways, would love to hear about other "trials and errors" of other adoptive families. Anyone experience attachment disorders, indescriminant attachment, food hording, etc? Our son was in an orphanage before coming to us, so obviously different from those in foster care etc.

What worked for you and what didn't?

[lvmykidz]

I LOVE rollercoaster rides but not sure about this one coming!! haha
Our soon to be 13yo fs/adopt was in an orphanage the first 7 years of his life. Then adopted to this country and that only lasted 2 years. Since then it's been a group home.
I've been doing alot of reading on RAD and other attachment issues. I told the CW to get us an attachment therapist lined up so we can start ASAP with them.
I know there will be so many ups and downs. I know I don't even KNOW all that I will encounter - which makes the ride all that more intense. Just gonna have to hang on to Gods promises!

[KarynB]

Wow - that sounds intense!!! Good for you for having help already waiting in the wings, that is pretty key...

I think I was surprised by the length of time it took our son to really settle in to our family, in my naitivity I thought all it would take was "love and patience". This was true, but it took A LOT of patience!!!!! The love was easy - and of course all worth it now that he is settled and doing amazingly well, although old issues resurface during transition times (end of school, etc).

Good luck to you, and if you need any advise or just support during the transition feel free to PM or post here....