[bange]

We've adopted 3 older boys, ages 9 and twins 7. We've given them a new name along with their original birth name but they want to be called by their new name.

What can we do informally to initiate this name change. Something to make it "official" to them and other family members and friends. Any ideas?

Also, has anyone experienced this with older children? How do their teachers and friends adapt to the new name?

Please help, needing assurance and advice.

[hotspice58]

I'm curious if anyone has advice. I'm adopting a 7 and 11 year old. They're brothers. I was going to change their middle name and give them my last name, after theirs, giving them 4 names. Any comments??

[Peggy]

I added a middle name to my daughter's name, and she has my last name. I was not fond of her name, but felt that at 8, it would be to difficult for her to have a new different first name.

[leenab]

We're going to be adopting twins who are about to turn 10. We're giving them the option of new first names. We have a list of about 40 to choose from.

We renamed both of our sons and have had no real issues with names. It took a while for everyone to get used to their new names, actually longer for my parents than for the boys themselves. It did take almost a year for Raj's biosister to start calling him Raj and stop calling him K. Both Raj and Om were fairly young at finalization, 4 1/4 and 3 1/2. Om was really never known by his birthname (previous fmom called him something else from birth - 2 1/2 yrs old). Raj was called K for 3 1/2 yrs but really had a rough life and begged for a new name when Om got his.

We included a whole section in their life books about the meaning of their new names as well as how we came to name them those names. The boys also had a small naming ceremony at home and a special dinner out to celebrate.

We did run into a lot of problems with Om's preschool teacher not wanting to call him by his new name (this was one month before finalization). She started calling him M. He was coming home and melting down for 2 weeks and I couldn't figure out why. Until one day I picked him up early and heard her refer to him as M. He gave her the meanest look and I realized that's why he'd been melting down. He'd been Om at home for 5 months and then BAM the school starts calling him M again. Talk about confusing when you're 3 1/2. HUGE MESS. School people are the most difficult to deal with when it comes to name changes, aside from cwers.

[Faith65]

Hi,

B has stated to all that when she gets adopted she is changing her name. She is 13 and never wants her biom to ever call her by her full name ever again.

B has picked out a new frist name, keeping B and her middle name,keeping her last name which is same as mine (biom married to my brother when B was born my brother is not B biof finally have all in questioned males tested) and adding Will's last name too (my finance whom B calls papa). B is her nickname but goes by that instead of her birth name.

Not sure how we are going go about it with peers, friends and mostly family but it's not their choice but B's and we will support her in that too.

[ALI143]

I think a family ceremony where the new names are incoporated is a great idea. The kids get nice ID bracelets/family bible/cement or bronze garden plaque or door plaque with their new names. Then start using the names everywhere. My daughter has a lot of names but none given by her birth mom though I kept the one her fmom gave her so when I write her name I (since we aren't finalized yet) I write her legal name only if required for things like insuarance forms but I always write aka then the name we gave her.
You boys could get things like library cards, student ID cards and such with new names as well as sign up for classes and sports where the old names won't ever even be known. Makes it more real that way .