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Old 02-20-2005, 09:44 AM
CatherineC CatherineC is offline
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Question I can't bond/attach to my adopted child

Have been able to get a lot of information about RAD from the adoptive child but has anyone any information or websites on a parent who is unable to bond/attached
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Old 02-20-2005, 10:16 AM
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crick crick is offline
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You might try googling Nancy Thomas and attachment as she is a highly respected expert on attachment/rad/bonding.

She has a website that might have some useful information for you.

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Old 02-20-2005, 10:57 AM
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Girlie_Hen Girlie_Hen is offline
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I just read in today's Sunday news that 14.3 percent of adopted children with special needs experience dissolution.
You are troubled about bonding and seeking support and advice - I think that shows you do have a bond! Concern for your relationship - bond, right? I hope you find it from all the successful parents who adopted older children on this site.
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Old 02-21-2005, 11:42 AM
shanzelka shanzelka is offline
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I'd like some info, too. Our 10 year old daughter has lived with us for a year now, and I still don't feel bonded with her. She has RAD. I tell her I love her all the time, but I don't really feel it.
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Old 03-13-2005, 01:16 PM
dogshowaddict dogshowaddict is offline
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Friends await you, if you still need help

Originally Posted by CatherineC
Have been able to get a lot of information about RAD from the adoptive child but has anyone any information or websites on a parent who is unable to bond/attached
I'd like to invite you to the Attachment Disorder Network and its special listserv, Little Zebras. Go to, read a little about Little Zebras, and then, since it's invitation only, just click on Contact Us in the upper right corner and send a message.

You'll be amazed at the community feeling and the resources. Little Zebras is pretty much recognized across the country by the RAD experts as being the finest mailing list (different from a forum such as this) for RAD parents.

We'd love to have you.
Juli Briggs
Huntsville, AL
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Old 03-13-2005, 04:11 PM
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Dr. Art Dr. Art is offline
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Children with RAD are difficult to parent and often trigger your own family-of-origin issues. Anyone with a child with trauma-attachment disorders should be working with a therapist who is experienced in attachment-based treatment (see for a listing of therapists how are properly trained and competant). A big part of the work is helping the parent with the issues these children trigger within you. A good book you may find helpful along the way is Parenting From the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel.

Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman
Adoptive Parent
Specialist in Adoption and Foster care issues.
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